


A Marriage of Inconvenience

by shelovestoship



Series: Marriage of Inconvenience [1]
Category: Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Little bit of angst, Miggy - Freeform, Romance, The “getting married for a Green Card” fic you didn’t know wanted or needed until right this second, UST, fake marrige, little angsty, pre-show non-consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 57
Words: 67,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelovestoship/pseuds/shelovestoship
Summary: Higgins is having some trouble with her visa...Yes. This is the “getting married for a Green Card” fic you didn’t know you wanted or needed.(But apparently Lenkov also thought was a really good idea...)
Relationships: Juliet Higgins/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV
Series: Marriage of Inconvenience [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786240
Comments: 604
Kudos: 666





	1. Twenty-Three Days

**Author's Note:**

> OMG, do I have psychic powers? A mind link with Lenkov? Like how did I start this 10+ weeks before episode 2x17's trailer even dropped?  
> 

The people over at CBS were nice enough to make a trailer for me...

**A Marriage of Inconvenience**

"Why are you sighing?" Magnum asked as he took his burger out of the takeout bag. They were on a stakeout, using the Range Rover to blend in, and since he'd just returned with food he was expecting a happy Higgins. Especially when she realized he'd remembered to tell them to hold the pickles and gotten her the fancy brioche bread she liked (but cost a dollar extra), all without being asked. But that wasn't what he was getting.

"No reason," she said, not looking up from her computer. 

"I brought food," he said, pushing the brown back in front of her screen. 

"Yes," she said, pushing it away. "I can smell that. But I'm busy at the moment."

"I made sure they didn't put pickles on yours," he said, shaking the bag. "Come on. You need to eat. You didn't have any of my pork rinds. And I'm pretty sure all you had for breakfast was coffee."

That made her stop her typing and turn to give him a look. And a frown. She closed the lid of her laptop and took the bag from him.

She extracted the burger and inspected it for pickles. She somehow managed it without getting any sauce on her fingers or the wrappings. It was the strangest thing. Since she didn't have much experience eating burgers in cars he always expected her to slobber it all over. But just like everything else, Higgins had in the very short span of being his partner, somehow, mastered the art of eating burgers without getting any sauce on her. A real feat, Magnum felt. And much better of a life skill than for say golf and chess. Not that he'd ever share that opinion with her.

"Thank you," she said after deciding he had in fact gotten her order right and she smiled a little smile. More at the burger than him, but at least he'd gotten that. Only, she was still looking a little frowny. Clearly something was bothering her.

"I have a question," he said as she bit into the burger, deciding he'd work up to asking about what was really wrong. "How can you hate pickles but eat vegan bacon? And you drink chai lattes but not real tea? And what do you have against pears?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I do believe that was three questions." But she thought about it for a few seconds then answered. "I just don't like them. And the vegan bacon wasn't that bad."

"Are you kidding me? It was awful." He grinned.

She did too, then a bit to his surprise, admitted, "It kinda was."

He loved times like this, when they'd just be working a case, often killing time waiting to follow a guy or take a pic, and she'd say or do something that surprised him. Most often the surprise wasn't her actually agreeing with him, more like her suddenly being able to speak Rumanian or being a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or having met the Queen (he wasn't sure that last one was true or if she'd just been pulling his leg, as a Brit would say). 

They ate in silence for a few moments, watching the hotel. He kept on glancing over at her to see if she'd gotten any ketchup or mayo on her face, just so he could tease her about it. But she managed to eat her burger like a pro.

"Magnum," she said as he balled up his wrapper. "You got sauce on your face."

He wiped at his cheek.

"Now you made it worse," she said with an eye roll before reaching out with her own napkin to wipe away the offending substance. "There."

For a few seconds, they locked eyes, and then, as if she'd realized what she'd just done she swallowed, dropped the napkin and looked out her window.

"Thanks," he said, rubbing the spot she'd just wiped clean. 

"You heard from Robin lately?" she asked, suddenly, clearly wanting to change the subject.

"Isn't he still undercover in Somalia, doing research for his next book?" Magnum wasn't regularly in contact with Robin unless there was some problem, and even then he did his best to keep from bothering Robin with issues or asking him for too many favors.

"Yes," she said, not sounding pleased about this in the least. Magnum wasn't exactly thrilled about it either, because Robin Masters wasn't great at staying out of trouble.

"You think something is wrong with Robin?" he asked, suddenly concerned. Maybe Juliet had some information he didn't have access to, via her MI6 contacts.

She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. "No."

He furrowed his brow. He wasn't sure what this was all about. This was rare for him these days since he was pretty in tune with Higgins's expressions, moods and even her three different shrugs. This he couldn't decide what it meant. Which only made him want to know more.

"Spill," he said, angeling himself around so he was facing her almost completely. "What's going on?"

She sighed again. "It's not...it's just, Robin needs to approve my new visa."

"Your visa?"

"Yes," she replied with her ' _it's a big deal but I'm trying to not make it seem like it'_ shrug. "My visa is about to expire."

"Oh," he said, feeling stupid. He hadn't really thought about that, the fact that she needed a visa to stay in the US. "But it's okay right?"

"Okay?" she said, her voice suddenly very crisp and high. "Magnum if Robin doesn't approve my work visa, which I've been trying to get him to do for almost two months, I'll have to go back to the UK."

"Yeah," he said, not liking the sound of that. Not one bit. "I get that. But Robin will come through."

"Well, he's running out of time," she said, biting her lip. Something he'd never seen her do before. "Magnum, my visa expires in twenty-three days. After that, I can't stay here, legally, anymore."

"Okay, we'll find a way to contact Robin," he said, suddenly wanting to jump out of the car and pace back and forth. Or maybe he just wanted to escape the feelings this sudden revelation was causing him. "Or maybe we can figure something else out. I mean there is gotta be something we can do, isn't there?"

"Like what?" she asked. "I've been in contact with a lawyer trying to figure out what kind of visas I could be eligible for. I could apply for a work visa as a priority worker, probably get a job as a programmer but I might not be able to find anything here on the island and I'd have to go to the mainland which I have no interest in doing so I'd probably have go back to England-"

"That's not happening," he said. "You're my partner. Working with me here, helping people, that's what you're meant to do."

She smiled at that, but sadly. "It seems I might not have a choice in the matter."

"There is gotta be some way!?!" No way was he giving up that easy. He'd fly to Somalia and find Robin himself before he let Higgins slip from his life.

"I'm not sure there is Magnum." She swallowed then tried to smile and joke. "Unless you know where to find the capital to start a multi-million dollar company? Make me an overnight movie star? Or perhaps you know some poor chap that is desperate to marry a stranger?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet, I'm still plotting stuff out for this one, deciding where I want to go with it. If you have anything you'd like to see, feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments.
> 
> Also, I'm not 100% about the visa stuff, it's really confusing, to say the least, so while I've done some research I'm going to take some artistic license with the whole thing too.


	2. Crazy Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, I was very kindly informed Brexit has nothing to do with a US/British visa (which makes sense because the US is not part of the EU). But we're just going to pretend it has something a little to do with it for the sake of this story. I mean come on guys, the premise is already ridiculous so why let something like actual logic and stuff get in the way of all the fun we're gonna have! But I will be making it more kind of like a "Robin forgot(or did he?)" than a "Brexit" problem.

“Magnum, that is absolutely crazy,” she argued as they walked into La Mariana, giving a busy looking Rick a nod and wave. 

“It’s not,” he argued, clearly not knowing anything about it. “It’s the best way and we should get on it right away.”

She rolled her eyes, even though part of her was touched he was so determined. “Just because you think something is a good idea doesn’t necessarily mean it is.”

“Sometimes a bad idea is better than no idea at all,” he argued as they found a free boot and slid into it. “What’s your plan? Wait and hope?”

“That’s a little harsh,” she said, mostly because that had been her plan. Wait, hope, distract herself...possibly hack into the government database and fake Robin’s electronic signature. 

But it was one thing to hack into satellites for a client, something not related to her, another when it would be her own visa she’d be altering. If anything was ever going to come back to bite her in the ass, it would be that kind of hack. The kind that led straight back to the real identity the person attempting it.

“Sorry,” he said as a waitress brought them over their favorite beers. Well, Magnum’s favorite, which weirdly enough had become her favorite as well. She’d even come to prefer beer to wine most of the time. Her mother, a bit of a wine expert who had more than once dragged pre-teen Juliet to France for wine tours, would have been horrified at this. “But what other option is there?”

“Magnum,” she sighed. “We can’t fly to Somalia to find Robin! He’s undercover and has been for months.”

“We could find him. We’re good at finding people,” he insisted.

“Do you know the population of Somalia?” She asked, taking a sip. “It’s fourteen million. There is mostly flat desert, the country spent most of the past few decades in the throes of a bloody civil war. And we have no contacts or support for any kind of operation there.”

“But-”

“It would be a logistical nightmare, even with how corrupt it is. We’d have to go in without weapons, without cash, we’d both stand out like sore thumbs-”

“Fine,” he stopped her. “We won’t go to Somalia. But that leaves only one option-”

“I have to go back to England,” she said, while at the same time he said, “We have to get married.”

After staring at him for a few seconds, marveling at this was the next best option in Magnum’s mind, she managed, “What?”

“Come on, it makes perfect sense,” he said, trying to play it cool but Higgins was quite sure Thomas Magnum was blushing under his tan. “It’d just be for a while and then when Robin gets back and can fix your work visa we can just, you know, get divorced.”

“There are just so many things wrong with what you just said I don’t know where to start,” she said, swallowing and looking away from him. “Firstly you do realize that getting married for a visa is a criminal offense?” It seemed easier to point this part out than the other, more personal stuff this would, could, impact.

“Please, we do illegal stuff all the time,” he said, like breaking into some fool’s apartment was the same as pretending to be married so she could get a green card. “I mean two days ago you hacked into a weather satellite! And you hack HPD all the- wait! Can’t you just hack into the place where you apply for visas?”

“I could, but USCIS, as it works closely with homeland security, one of the most protected government sites and well.” She shrugged. “So if I could get in if I left any trace...the bread crumbs would lead straight back to me.”

“Okay,” he said, accepting everything about hacking she told him without even attempting to argue. “Then getting married really is our best option.”

“Our best option? Magnum, you’re not… this isn’t your problem,” she said, even though the fact that he seemed perfectly honest and willing in both his suggestion to go to Somalia to hunt down Robin and now to actually marry her.

“Of curse it is, you’re my partner. And more importantly, you’re my friend,” he said and even though she knew that something in the way he said them and the way was looking at her right then, made her want to cry. 

Maybe it was the little girl in her who had never had any friends growing up, much less a friend like Magnum. 

Maybe it was the grown-up Juliet Higgins, terrified that the look meant something much more than friendship.

But Juliet Higgins didn’t cry, so she pushed the urge away. 

“Magnum...”

“I’m going to help you,” he said firmly. “Unless you suddenly really want to go back to England I’m going to do anything and everything to make sure you get to stay here.”

“Like marry me? Magnum, we can’t do that,” she said, meaning for that to end the discussion. But her voice wasn’t quite as firm or decisive as she’d hoped.

“Yes,” he said. “We can.”


	3. Sean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old 'friend' of Juliet shows up and puts some things into perspective for her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: maybe hinted at pre-show implied non-consensual/dubious consent and unwanted sexual advances. Not sure where I’m going with it but you have been warned.
> 
> Also, small second warning, this is probably going to get a bit dark before the (happy) ending.

### Sean

Later, she’d blame her carelessness on fact that there were a dozen thoughts running through her head as she entered the house and headed upstairs for her bedroom. Magnum’s suggestion to go to Somalia, Magnum actually thinking them getting married to let her stay in Hawaii was a good plan, the problems that would cause.

The emotions she’d have to deal with if she even considered it. Both concerning the fact that she’d thought she’d marry Richard or no one and the idea of marrying Magnum wasn’t as terrible as it should have been. It was almost, nice. Only it wouldn’t be real. Of course. Which somehow made it okay. Yet so much worse.

Unbuttoning her top, deciding that despite the fact that she’d basically spent all day sitting in a car, she definitely needed a shower before bed. Maybe some cold water would clear her head too, so she could actually get some sleep.

Only as she dropped the blouse on the chair next to the en-suite bathroom door, she realized, she wasn’t alone in her bedroom.

Spinning around she saw the dark shadow in the corner. Her gun was in the bedside table. Too far, the intruder between it and her.

Two steps to the left, under a table, she had a knife stashed. She got there quickly, reaching her hand under - only to find _nothing_.

“Looking for this, love?” the man in the shadows asked, the moonlight glinting off the knife. 

Hearing his voice, she knew who the intruder was. It didn’t make her feel any better.

“Sean,” she said, paralyzed by the avalanche of feelings rushing through her. 

He took a step away from the dark corner. He still held the knife in one hand. An implied threat or just him rubbing it in her face that he’d found her hiding place?

“You’re tanned,” he said even though it was too dark for him to be able to determine that, even as he took in her body with a practiced calculated gaze. That meant he'd been watching her. For how long? Days? Weeks? Months? Best not to think about it. “It doesn’t suit you.”

“And you got old,” she said, even though in the dark he looked as handsome as he had when she was twenty.

He chuckled and came closer. Too close. He ran a finger down her cheek. “ _But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun._ ”

“I’m not a child any more Sean,” she told him, wanting to back away, scream, hit him. Maybe throw her arms around him and hug him. “Quoting Romeo and Juliet is not going to change anything.”

He smiled, like a wolf and moved the hand with the knife up, sliding the blade under the left strap of her bra, cutting through it like butter. He put his other hand on her other shoulder, moving that strap with his finger. “Shall I try Bronte then? Or perhaps Byron? _Though the night was made for loving, And the day returns too so_ -”

“Stop,” she said as firmly as she could manage when her whole body felt like a noodle. An ice-cold noodle, frozen yet limp at the same time. “Don’t touch me.”

He took his hand back but kept on smiling the wolfish smile, spinning the knife. “I can wait. You always end up coming back to me.”

“I think you’re confused, I never came back to you. Not even once.”

“Please,” he said smugly, disbelieving. “A woman never forgets her first love.”

“You weren’t my first love. Richard was,” she said and that made his eyes flash. “In fact, I don’t even think about you anymore,“ she added and realized it was true.

His hand shot out to wrap around her neck. 

He pushed her backward, all but slamming her into the wall. That was going to leave a bruise. Nothing new, many of her encounters in the past with Sean -both the good and bad ones - had. 

“Richard was a speedbump. Even if he’d lived he’d have been a footnote in your life.” He grimaced, the knife suddenly at her throat too. Weirdly, this threat, a knife at her jugular felt like nothing compared to him quoting poetry and cutting away her bra strap. “He was such a boy scout, can’t believe he got himself killed. I wished he hadn't. It would have been so much fun when he realized you were always mine.”

“What you want Sean?” she managed through her restricted windpipe, not about to argue with him about Richard even though she desperately wanted to. 

“I brought you some good news,” he whispered in her ear, his breath hot and full of memories. “I’m the head of a new unit MI6 is setting up in Brussel. With you coming back, I knew I had to have you on my team.”

“I’m not coming back,” she said as he let go of her neck.

“Now love, you can’t lie to me,” he said smugly even as he moved away from her. “I know all your tells.” 

“I lied to you that time in Moscow and you bought it,” she reminded him even though it probably wasn’t very smart of her. “Hook, line and sinker.”

“Well,” he said, suddenly a fond almost fatherly look on his face. “You were always my best student.”

That was true. Yet now, as an adult, she realized even more how strange and wrong it had made her relationship with Sean.

“I’m not coming back,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m staying here.”

“With your new American soldier friends?” he sneered and went to the window to look out over the grounds towards the guest house. 

She’d changed her bedroom about six months after Magnum came to Hawaii so she had a view of his place. She’d told herself it was to keep an eye on him, to make it easier to catch him stealing wine and letting unauthorized visitors in. She wasn’t so sure anymore. Sometimes she thought, maybe she’d switched rooms so she could see the lights on in the guest house and know he was there. Know she wasn’t alone.

Tonight the lights worried her. Or Sean’s attention focused on them did.

“Yes,” she said, honestly. Because Magnum, Rick, TC, Kumu were the reasons this island was now her home.

“You’re wasted on this rock,” he told her. And bloody hell, if that weird backward praise, didn’t still make her feel good. “The world needs you, Jules.” 

She said nothing. Neither did he for a few long seconds. Then he finally added, “Maybe I need you too.”

She wasn’t sure how to respond to that and so instead she grabbed her blouse and quickly slid it back on.

“You haven’t seen me in five years,” she said, half-turned away from him as she worked on the tiny buttons. 

“Three years,” he corrected.

She said nothing. She didn’t want to think about three years ago. In fact, most of the time, if she went through her life, her memories, she edited that out. Like it had never happened.

“I’m not going with you,” she told him, buttoning the last button.

“You going to drag out these last few weeks? Everyone knows Robin is off the radar. Your visa is expiring. You can’t stay here. You going to wait for MI6 to send an extraction team, bully you back into it in a few weeks? Wait to see if they to make you stateless and desperate? When you can come with me and do great work with no threats hanging over you?”

“Yes,” she told him, because she wasn’t going back to England, to MI6. And she certainly wasn’t going back with him. “My work visa will expire in three weeks, but by then I’ll have applied for adjustment of status to become a permanent resident.”

“You can’t do that,“ Sean said, but as visa and international law wasn’t his specialty so there was the faintest hint of insecurity too. She reveled in it. “You haven’t lived in the US long enough.”

“I can if I’m married to a U.S. citizen,” she said, not quite believing the words coming out of her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stateless - (of a person) not recognized as a citizen of any country.
> 
> So yeah, I felt Juliet needed a push for it to make sense for her to accept marrying Magnum. But I’m not sure where this Sean character came from, I just meant to write some kind of slightly creepy but mostly just a random MI6 agent trying to convince Higgy to come back and re-join MI6 (thanks for the ideas to involve MI6 in different ways _Star_ , I’m def. going to be using some of them!).  
> I guess I just have this weird compulsion to give Higgins horrible backstories because she just got the kick-ass broken bird vibe and the dead fiancé isn’t enough to explain it for me. And I just like putting characters I love through horrible things.  
> Unfortunately, now I feel like I kinda have to make Sean the bad guy of the story, somehow. But I also wanted to something with Ivan as the villain, to actually make him terrifying (as I kind of didn’t really find him all that compelling as the big bad this season during 2x11.) For now, I got some loose plots/ concepts I want to explore so I guess we’ll see, I’m still very undecided where I’m going with this.


	4. Saying Nothing & Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...he pointed out while trying to figure out if his heart rate was elevated from the two-mile swim or the idea of marrying Juliet Higgins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at this point in the story, Magnum is basically all happy and just thinking of how he can help Higgy out. I imagine he'll start being a little bit more conflicted and emotionally confused about marrying her once he's actually in the process of doing it...if we get to that before everything goes too crazy! Right now I got evil spies, secret identities, possibly Ivan, possibly a kidnapping scheme, Somalia, Robin being sneaky, a puppy, some kind of terrorist plot and about 11 other ideas for this story...

**Saying Nothing & Everything**

Higgins was waiting for him on the beach when he got back from his morning swim, wearing a long-sleeved top and jeans. She didn’t look happy. Which was about on par with how they had parted yesterday.

“We have a case?” he asked as she handed him his towel. 

She shook her head.

“Okay?”

She paused for a few moments, studying him closely trying to gauge his emotions while clearly working hard to keep her own tightly under wrap.

“If the offer is still good, I’d like to take you up on it,” she said stiffly.

He stopped drying himself off, not sure he’d heard her right. “My offer...”

“Yes, Magnum.” She narrowed her eyes. “Your utterly ridiculous idea that we should get married to let me stay here. Well, it’s not as ridiculous as I first thought.”

“Yesterday when we were driving home you said you didn’t want to hear anything more about it,” he half teasingly, half-seriously pointed out while trying to figure out if his heart rate was elevated from the two-mile swim or the idea of marrying Juliet Higgins.

Fake marrying, but still.

“Things change.”

Yes, something had changed. There was a tenseness about her shoulder, plus the way she was keeping her emotions so locked down. It reminded him of last year’s Higgins. Before they’d been stuck in the middle of the ocean together, before she’d been the first one to offer help when Hannah came back, before he’d asked her to be his partner.

He didn’t like it.

“What happened?”

She turned away from him but spoke. “Doesn’t matter. You still want to...” 

“Can’t even say the words? How’s that gonna work at the wedding?” he said, but now he was teasing. Because he was suddenly ridiculously happy.

Happy because she was actually going to let him help her. Letting him be part of fixing a problem for her instead of her helping to fix his. She was trusting him and that felt good. Like it was something he’d waited for since...since forever.

“We can’t mess this up Magnum,” she said, still glancing away from him. And noticing her fists clenching, and adding that to the other change in her, he thought maybe she was angry. That was the best explanation he had for how short she was being with him, the vibrating yet suppressed energy and tension he sensed in her. 

“Mess it up? How hard can it be to pretend to be married?” he pointed out. Heck, they’d even been mistaken for a couple more than once. They’d had the same address for almost two years. Lots of pictures and calls to show their “relationship”. Yes. He might have googled a few things last night about spousal visas. “We’ll be fine.”

She nodded but he wasn’t sure she believed him. The tense yet restless way she was scanning around them made him nervous. It reminded him of a guy at the recovery center they’d been at after the POW camp. He was being treated for hyper-awareness and exhaustion.

“Higgins?” He reached for her wrist when she turned to leave without making eye contact with him. He felt the muscles under the thin fabric of her top, clench, and she drew in a quick breath that almost made him let her go. But for some reason, he feared she'd run if he did. “Are you okay?”

She forced a smile. “It’s nothing. I’d just forgotten what being a spy is like.” 

“What is it like?” he asked, still holding onto her arm but as gently as he possibly could. He wanted to keep her talking even though he doubted this was the way, doubted she'd answer a personal question like that. Not when she wasn't being her normal Higgins-self. New normal Higgy, that is. The Higgy that wanted to share with him.

She looked up at him for a few long seconds and he was sure she wouldn't answer. But she did, “Lonely."

Then she walked away.

As she did, he weirdly enough once more felt that rush of happiness and purpose. Of being trusted. Of being important to her. 

Because she’d just admitted she’d forgotten what being lonely was like. That meant **he** , the guys, Kumu, Hawaii, Hawaii, had made her feel truly part of something, so much she’d forgotten the bad and lonely parts of her life that had come before.

Then an oddly cold wind suddenly sweep across the beach and he realized another thing. She hadn’t actually told him about what had changed her mind about accepting his “proposal”...or what had reminded her of her life as a spy.


	5. When Is The Lie No Longer White, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You haven’t even gotten me a ring!” she pointed out, clearly thinking she’d one-upped him there.  
> “Actually...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short and sweet one because I didn't want to switch POV mid-chapter!
> 
> Also Ellie the goat was so awesome! I wish they’d have kept her on! She could have been friends with the lads! 

### When Is The Lie No Longer White, pt. 1

“You’re really not going to tell me?” he asked as he drove towards La Marianna the next afternoon. The whole Ohanna gang were meeting there for the announcement Magnum and Higgins had said they wanted to make.

Magnum wondered what the others thought it was about and was amused at the jaw-dropping expressions they were sure to see.

“It’s just like I said,” she started, “I had an old MI6 friend visit me. Offered me my job back. A better one even. And I realized it was the last thing I wanted.”

“That’s so none-descript. It’s like telling someone ‘ _yes we sometimes get paid in livestock_ ’ and not show them pictures of Ellie!” he complained.

“I’m sorry but that’s what happened, so I don’t know what else you want me to say,” she said but she wasn’t telling him the whole story. He could feel it in his bones. But Magnum could be patient. He just tended not to be but when the situation really called for it, he could be.

"And yet you won't tell me the name of this 'old friend' or when you had time to meet her? Him?" he prodded.

Clearly wanting to change the topic she instead of answering the question, she deflected and asked one herself, “How about we talk about what we’re telling our friends about the sudden turn off events instead?”

“You mean our upcoming _wedding_?” He grinned at her, enjoying the way the word wedding made her squirm.

“Yes,” she said with a serious nod. “I take this means you still want to lie to your friends-”

“Our friends, and yes,” he said, even though he wasn’t 100% he was like 85% sure it was the thing to do. “You said it yourself, we need this to not get messed up, the fewer people in on the lie the better.”

And that was really the reason. It was not that some small part him just want everyone - even his friends - to think Juliet Higgins was marrying him because she wanted to. Nope, that wasn’t it. Absolutely not.

“They won’t believe it.”

He insisted, “They will!”

“You haven’t even gotten me a ring!” she pointed out, clearly thinking she’d one-upped him there.

“Actually.” Smiling, he pulled out the little well-worn velvet box, extra he’d actually remembered and really hoping it would fit. 

“Tell me you didn’t get this from a pawn shop Magnum,” she said as she took the box from him.

“Where else would I have gotten it?” She gave him a look, that only made him grin wider. “Joking.” 

She opened the box, the expression on her face almost suspicious. As if opening the lid was just as likely to make a bug jump out as it was to reveal a ring. But of course, it was the later and she softly said, “It’s beautiful.”

He nodded in agreement. “It was my mother’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this my second non-traditional Miggy proposal/ring scenes in the Ferrari. I just think that’s just one of the perfect places for it and yeah… that’s my only excuse!
> 
> Also, I don't think Magnum would actually keep the fact that he was fake-marrying a secret from his BFFs but for the sake of this story that's what's happening.
> 
> (And fun side fact, I might work into the story or not, the reason the box is worn is because Magnum's dad carried the ring around with him during like half the war because he chickened out on asking his mom before leaving on deployment like he'd planned. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)


	6. When Is The Lie No Longer White, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just try the ring on Higgins,” he said with a slightly exasperated look on his face. Like she was the one being unreasonable!

###  When Is The Lie No Longer White, pt. 2

“You can’t give me your mother’s engagement ring,” she said, quickly snapping the box shut so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch it, try it on. Actually accept it.

“Why not?” he asked, as if he didn’t understand the implications. Glancing at him, she wondered if maybe he didn’t. But as clueless as he could sometimes be, he couldn’t be clueless about this. You didn’t give someone you were fake marrying your mother’s engagement ring. "It's not doing me any good laying around in a drawer. And I know you'll take good care of it."

“What about one day when you want to give this ring to a woman you actually _want_ to marry?” she prompted.

He shrugged. “You’ll have given it back by then. It’ll be fine. In fact, it’ll be a great story.”

“A great story,” she echoed. “It sometimes amazes me you ever had a girlfriend Magnum. Honestly, if you think any woman would be charmed to learn you’d already used this ring to marry someone else, you’re wrong.”

“Come on.” He waved his hand at the ‘problem’. “I’m doing a good deed. If I ever do end up marrying someone, she’ll be the kind of woman who understands that.”

She cooly raised an eyebrow even though she felt a strange sinking feeling imagining this potential future wife of Magnum’s. His relationship with Abby hadn’t affected their partnership, their friendship, much. But if he found someone that he wanted to spend his life with...that would definitely change things.

Worse, she knew she’d had to like whoever it was. No, she’d want to like them. For Magnum’s sake. And she’d have to be happy even though this vague mystery woman Juliet was imagining, would be runin- no changing - everything. 

Only, maybe, what if, there never was anyone else? She felt cruel for thinking it. Because she knew he wanted to find love again. He wasn’t like her, still mourning someone even years after they’d gone. So she should want him to find someone. 

It was just; she loved the way things were. That was part of why she felt a sense of rising panic every time he mentioned anything about this deception they were about to enter into. A fake marriage. Could their partnership, their friendship really come through that without damage? Juliet knew better than most, when you lied to yourself, played a part, it was sometimes hard to go back. 

Fake marrying someone was the ultimate game of pretend, especially when the person you were marrying was your partner; someone you respected, cared about and more than occasionally (and totally against your will) found yourself attracted to. 

“Just try the ring on Higgins,” he said with a slightly exasperated look on his face. Like she was the one being unreasonable!

Against her better judgment, she opened the box, swallowing hard as she flicked the lid open. The diamond was cushion cut with two horizontal marquise cut amethysts on each side, taking her thoughts to a flower with two petals.

Terrified in equal measures at the prospect of it fitting and it not fitting, she took it out of its little notch. She was being silly. If Magnum was fine with it, she should be too. This whole thing, she was reading too much into it. Worrying too much.

She and Magnum were friends. He was helping her out. She was doing this to avoid going back to MI6. To avoid Sean. The ring was a prop. It changed nothing.

Still, she hesitated for a few long moments, trying to tell herself she was imagining her hand was shaking. Then she put the ring on. 

It slid on to her fourth finger like it had been made for her.

* * *

“You’re what?” Rick said as the rest of the gang simply stared. 

“We’re getting married,” Magnum said again, putting an arm around her shoulders. She couldn’t decide if the touch made her feel better or worse. It certainly made her feel...nervous.

“Did April come early this year?” TC said, and Kumu hit him on the arm but looked just as unsure as the man himself.

“I know this seems rather sudden,” she said, deciding somethings needed to be 'explained' to sell this fake marriage. And Magnum wasn’t doing a good job of it. “But shortly after Abby left things changed between Magnum and I. And we simply weren't sure how to tell you all.”

“That’s why you wanted to spend Christmas with Higgy rather than go with me and Icepick on the cruise?” Rick asked eyes narrowed.

Surprised, Juliet tried not to let on to the fact that Magnum had told her he’d been left all alone for Christmas and kinda just suggested they’d spend it together. He hadn’t mentioned anything about having been invited to spend it with Rick and turning it down. Something to think about. Later.

So she just smiled while Magnum said, “Yeah sorry, I just didn’t know how to tell you at that point.”

“It does explain some things,” TC reluctantly agreed. “You two have been giving each other some pretty obvious heart eyes.”

This was news to Juliet and from the look on Magnum’s face, to him too.

“I knew it,” Kumu said confidently.

“Well you know I read this thing once about how a successful marriage is just finding the one person you wanted to annoy for the rest of your life,” Rich said suddenly cheerful. “So I guess in a way, this makes perfect sense.”

“Yeah, man,” TC said, getting up to pull them both into a hug. “Congrats. Rick, how about we find some bubbly to celebrate this with!”

“You’re reading my mind brother,” Rick said, grinning. “So when is the wedding?”

Juliet swallowed at the joking question and hoped Magnum would tell them something vague. She hadn’t thought about the fact that they’d have to have an actual wedding. All she’d figured was a quick visit to the courthouse and some strangers for witnesses. But with them playing this charade on everyone...there would have to be something more...something almost real.

“This weekend. If we can put it all together.”

More shocked faces but then all around cheers and claps and suggestions for the wedding, from churches to people to invite to food that would have to be ordered.

“I’m so happy for you Juliet,” Kumu said and hugged Juliet. Nodding and letting the older woman hug her hard, she felt like an icy rock had appeared in her stomach. “Let me see the ring!”

This wasn’t right. As much sense as it had made to keep the secret just between her and Magnum, it felt awful. This was part of what she’d hated as a spy. The lies. The loneliness they brough.

She glanced up at Magnum and thought she saw the same thing reflected in his eyes for a moment. It made the feeling retreat a little, for she wouldn’t be alone in the deception this time. Not completely.

Then Magnum’s phone rang, she sawn an unknown number flashed on his screen, which could mean a new client, so naturally, he answered it.

Because that was what Magnum did.

He stepped to the side to talk just as Rick popped a bottle of champagne open and Kumu finished gushing over the ring.

As Kumu went to Rick to get herself a drink TC stayed.

“You sure about this Higgy baby?” TC asked, lowering his voice. 

“I’m sure,” she replied hoping her face looked more certain than she felt.

“Really sure? Because I’m not sure my boy TM could handle...” TC started but stopped himself. “You sure?”

She nodded and smiled some even as she felt a stab of pain. Because as glad she was that TC was making sure she had the right intentions towards Magnum, it was a reminder of the fact that TC and Rick were more Magnum’s friends than hers. As it should be, for they had been through so much she couldn’t understand. But if this ended badly, she’d not only lose Magnum. She might lose them too.

“We have a case,” Magnum said a minute later, coming back over to rejoin the gang. 

“We have champagne!” Kumu responded to that, raising a glass. 

Juliet had already emptied her glass, feeling the little bubbles tingle down her throat. She doubted the small amount of alcohol would actually calm her, soothe the hurt and the discomfort. But it had been worth a try.

“Um,” he said.

“Let’s go,” she told Magnum, despite the gang looking like the expected her to protest.

But she couldn’t stay here and pretend to be happy, celebrating, when it was all a lie. And she wasn’t even sure if it was a white one at this point. Even if it technically wasn’t hurting anyone, it felt like it was, like it would, before it was all over.

Maybe _her_ most of all.

“I guess they’re still Magnum and Higgins,” TC said to Rick as she and Magnum were leaving. “Always on a case.”

She walked faster, wanting to hear nothing of their banter. Wanting to get far away from their cheerfulness, their good wishes. 

“Wait up,” Magnum called, hurrying to catch up as she marched into La Mariana’s parking lot. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she snapped as they reached the Ferrari. “Nothing at all.”

“Okay, stop,” he said following her to her side of the car and stopping her from opening the door. “What is this? You won’t talk to me about what made you change your mind about marrying me or who your MI6 friend is. Now you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” she cried.

He looked back towards the bar. “It’s for the best.”

“They think we’re actually getting married and we’re not,” she cried.

“But we are,” he said, serious, playful and coaxing all at once. 

She shook her head but before she could protest more he took her hands, interlace their fingers. It felt odd. She hadn't held anyone's hands like that in a long time. She glanced at her left hand. He gives her his mother’s ring. It shouldn’t matter.

Yet… she was suddenly beyond glad Magnum had given it to her. Glad that it was something that she had that was important to him. That he’d entrusted it to her in a sense. It made it precious. It gave her strength in an unexplainable way.

Still, she had to keep on arguing. “It’s a lie. Sort of.”

“What if we use Rick’s quote on what marriage is all about?” he suggested.

She frowned.

“Marriage is finding the one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life,” he reminded her. “I could vow to annoy you for the rest of my life. How about you? Think you could promise to do the same for me?”

She couldn’t help but smile at that. “Maybe.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some school and a full day of work so next update might be a day or two longer than this normal crazy every day update schedule I've gotten into!


	7. Another Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnum vs Sean, pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know we were all rooting for Magnum to punch Sean in his smug little face. But Sean is a spy (and probably a high-functioning sociopath) so he’s going to be a good liar and charming to boot. With Juliet not really telling Magnum about Sean’s, let’s say, possessive tendencies towards her, he’s going to be left confused on how to act around Sean. He might even *gasp* like him for a little bit of this story (because the angst that would create is just what I live for.)

### Another Offer

“You think you can do it?” Magnum asked Juliet as they left the house of their newest client, having no doubt she would answer yes. 

Their client was a middle-aged woman who had just found out her recently deceased husband had fathered a child with another woman fifteen years previously. A child she now wanted to meet, because it was the only remaining connection to the man she loved.

“Of course,” she replied casually. “As long as there are some kind of records. And since the child was born 2005, there’s bound to be. We’ll have to talk to the boy and his parents before we tell her anything though.”

He nodded in agreement. They’d said as much to their new client as well.

She quickly checked her phone again as they headed for the car. She’d gotten a call earlier that she had answered and then promptly hung up. The explanation she’d given was ‘telemarketer’ but she’d been checking her phone a lot more since then.

“Would you do it?” he asked. “Want to find Richard’s secret love child?”

She shrugged - the _‘I know the answer but I’m pretending to be undecided about it_ ’ shrug and said, “Would you? With Hannah?“

He hesitated, sure the answer must be **No** but at the same time…

She stopped as they got to the Ferrari. But not to get in. Her eyes were focused on a car on the other side of the road.

“Magnum-”

“I see it.” The tension in her body made him wish for the gun stashed in the glove compartment. 

But the man in the car on the other side of the road simply got out and began walking over to them.

He was tall and lean and walked almost like a soldier, with purpose and precision. His clothes didn’t scream tourist but his solid-looking leather shoes, much too warm for Hawaii, did.

“Higgy?” Magnum asked since she was the one who had spotted the ‘threat’, hoping that she had some direction as to how to handle it.

“It’s fine,” she said, a little louder, so the man could hear her words too. “Magnum, this is Sean. Sean, Magnum.”

Sean reached them and as he did, offered his hand to Magnum and in a very crusty British accent said, “I hear felicitations are in order.”

Sean looked to be in his mid to late forties, the grey hairs creeping into the brown, the biggest tell. His face was average but lean. Nothing wrong with it, nothing to write home about either, but his blue eyes were quite a different story. They were lively, appealing and very memorable.

Magnum glanced to Higgins who was giving Sean a focused look Magnum couldn’t read. He pondered it, thought it might be annoyance, but as her eyes softened, he decided it was something else. Maybe even grudging pleasure at seeing Sean.

Upon realizing this, Magnum might have squeezed the other man’s hand a little harder than he needed as they shook. Petty, but somehow he couldn’t help it.

“Yes,” Magnum said, reaching to take Higgins hand for the second time that day and as he did he found it ice cold. “Wedding is this weekend.”

“I’d attempt to extract an invitation but I’m afraid I’m flying back to Europe on Thursday,” he said, looking at Higgins now. “Wish I didn’t have to. This is quite the loveliest weather I’ve ever experienced in January-”

“What do you want Sean?” Juliet asked harshly, interrupting. “You didn’t track me down to chat about the weather.”

“You sure?” he said, with a boyish smile, aimed at Magnum. “Aren’t we English supposed to be famous for talking about the weather?”

“I thought it was tea,” Magnum found himself saying and smiling back. Both without meaning to. 

Because Sean was clearly the person that had come here to convince Higgins to come back to MI6. Offered her a job. Tried to take her away from him-...um, away from Hawaii. Reminded her of her lonely spy life.

Yet, there was something pleasant and almost self-deprecating about him, that made Magnum... not hate him. Even though part of him he felt he should. Even if he was some sort of friend of Higgins. Maybe because he was Higgins’s sort of friend.

“Let’s go,” she said to Magnum, beginning to turn away.

“Okay, okay, Jules,” Sean said but there was a calmness to the surrender. An act. “I have a new offer. Come with me to Brussels, bring Mr. Magnum here if you want, help me set things up. Six months tops. After you can come back here and MI6 will make sure you have permanent residency in the US, if you still want it. And this marriage...won’t be an inconvenience to any of us.”

“I already said no. I’m not coming back,” Higgins said but Magnum was focused on the last few words of Sean’s.

_...any of us…_

As if he was one of the people it was an _inconvenience_ to. 

“Just think about it,” Sean said, then nodded to him. “Mr. Magnum.”

Then Sean turned and went back to his car.

Juliet dropped his hand like a stone down a well as soon as Sean’s back was to them. It had still been cold as if they were in the middle of a British January rather than Hawaiian one. 

Yet instead of finding her face pale, there was color on her cheek. It was all very un-Higgins like.

Magnum didn’t like it. 

Not one bit.

* * *

“How do you know Sean?” he asked once the Ferrari purred to life. “It’s more than MI6, isn’t it?”

But he already had a good idea. Sean and Juliet had been a thing. Probably before Richard, since he hardly saw after as a possibility. There was history between them. How much Magnum wasn’t sure. Higgins sure didn’t seem like she wanted anything to do with the guy. But how sure could he be of that? 

She was keeping her emotion carefully in check around him, which had to mean there was something for her to hide away.

Worried he wondered if she’d been tempted by Sean’s offer. She hadn’t _seemed_ tempted but what if she was? What if she reconsidered and she went with Sean to Europe for six months? 

No. She didn’t want that. She’d said she didn’t. He had to trust that was true.

“He was...” She hesitated and looked out at the passing scenery. “He was my professor at Cambridge for a semester. Taught one of the only computer classes there.”

“Wait?” Magnum burst out. “He was your teacher?”

“I was twenty, Magnum,” she said with an eye roll. “And he was there looking for potential recruits not to teach. Not really.”

“And he found you?” Magnum concluded, now even more unsure about what to think about Sean.

“I suppose that’s one way to put it,” she said thoughtfully. “He taught me a lot about hacking. He taught me Russian. Basic Arabic. Krav Maga. He basically made sure I’d ace MI6 training. He even taught me to play chess-”

“He taught you to play chess?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’d somehow figured she’d been born moving chess pieces around a board. 

“Why do you sound so shocked?” she asked, frowning.

“So he was your mentor,” Magnum clarified but he knew that wasn’t all and had to add, “And your boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” she said with a humorless smile. “We weren’t teenagers Magnum.”

“You pretty much were,” Magnum pointed out. “And he must have been at least thirty.”

“What were you doing when you were twenty Magnum? Still at SEAL training or were you already overseas fighting in a war?” she asked, eyebrow raised. “Don’t make it into something it wasn’t.”

Magnum didn’t like the nonchalant way she was talking about this. In fact, she was almost defensive of Sean. It worried him because when Higgins argued with him like this, coldly, like she was right and he wrong, rather than them just two people with opposing views, there was no way to find a middle ground. These days Magnum was all about the middle ground. 

He was probably reading too much into things. Even if Sean had been her teacher and mentor she had, like she said, been an adult. If she didn’t have a problem with it, he shouldn’t.

“How long since you last saw him?” he asked, not ready to fully let it go but not wanting to push the topic of her and Sean’s questionable relationship further.

“Five years,“ she lied. He wasn’t sure how he could tell it was a lie but he could. And he didn’t understand why she’d lie about something simple like that. Or why it hurt that she had.

He supposed it all came back to the stupid feelings of wanting to help her when he knew all so well she didn’t need his help. Most of the time at least. But for those times she did, he wanted her to know he would help. More he wanted to actually ask him for help. Even with the smaller things she could handle on her own. He wanted her to trust him.

Was that selfish of him? Wanting to be the person she turned to? Wanting to be the most important person in her life? Because that was what he wanted. Probably because she’d become so frighteningly important to him. Yet he still worried she wasn’t letting him in fully. 

He even had tortuous fantasies of her sharing her past, letting him help her or even planning things together for the future. Some nights he’d lie awake for hours just thinking about what her trusting him more would feel like.

Other things too. Things he shouldn’t be thinking of, imagining. Like the sounds she might make pressed closed to him as he ran his hands all over her. How her bare skin would taste as he kissed it. How she’d wake him up. Even innocent sounding things like how he wanted to run his finger up her smooth arm just to feel her skin, could keep him awake for far too long.

Swallowing he noticed she was toying with the ring he’d given her less than two hours ago. He feared she’d take it off. Stupidly he didn’t want her to. Maybe not ever.

Possibly he should be a little concerned by this. The fact that she was so important to him. By wanting him to be important to her. The fact that he plain old just wanted her. 

But he wasn’t in love with her so it would be fine. He’d been in love before. It was different. And it always happened right away when he met someone, filling him with hope, possibilities and excitement. The first things he’d felt around Juliet Higgins had been amusement and annoyance. Nowadays...well, she made him feel a little bit of everything. Including hope, possibilities and excitement. But that didn’t mean anything. That was just because she was his partner, his friend. Probably his best friend.

Yeah. That was it.

Nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnum isn't quite sure what he's feeling but he's still sure what he's **not** feeling (and like most people in denial he's totally wrong.)


	8. The Thing About Making Beds You Have To Sleep In...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closet cleaning can lead to unforeseen consequences...

### The Thing About Making Beds You Have To Sleep In...

“Juliet?” Kumu said, making Higgins who was busy staring at the guest house through her bedroom window, jump. “I’m sorry to startle you, the door was open...”

“No, it’s quite alright Kumu,” she assured the other woman.

“You packing?” she asked, looking at the clothes stacked on the bed. “Moving down to the guest house to be with Thomas?”

“Um,” Juliet said, even though she was just in fact just sorting through her closet. Creating order to something, since her life felt anything but orderly at the moment.

“I’m so happy for you Juliet!” Kumu said coming closer. “I didn’t think...well, I wasn’t sure you’d actually act on your feelings but I could see them so clearly. I’m glad you did though. You and Magnum are a perfect match.”

“Thanks,” she managed. Kumu smiled and reached out to give her a hug.

Second one today.

Juliet suddenly remembered how mother used to hug her all the time when she was little. Before school, after school, before bed. When she had a nightmare, did something good or got sad.

She hadn't hugged anyone in a long time though. Not this kind of hug. The genuine well-wishing lovely hug this was. 

“Did you decide what you’re bringing?” Kumu asked as they pulled apart, nodding towards the bed. “Probably you’ve already got your favorites down there with him.”

All Juliet could do was nod. Because she couldn’t tell Kumu she was only sorting through her closet. 

Even if it meant she’d have to move into the guest house with Magnum to keep the deception up. It, in fact, almost seemed like a bonus, as she had barely been able to sleep in her room the night before even after she’d assured herself Sean was gone. 

Truth be told part of her wanted to lean into the charade. Pretend that she was really marrying Magnum because he loved her and she loved him. She could go dress shopping with Kumu. Debate with Rick about the venue (for if it was her real wedding she’d have preferred it on the grounds of Robin’s Nest rather than La Mariana). Ask TC about making a _just married_ sign for his helicopter. Have Gordon and Shammy give her advice on what **not** to do once she and Magnum were married.

She was good enough of a spy she thought if she tried hard enough she'd even be able to fool herself. She wouldn't, of course, but it was an easy fant- cover story - to imagine living.

* * *

“What’s this?” Magnum asked as she rolled her carry on bag into the guest house.

”Kumu thought I was moving in with you. I wasn’t sure how to talk my way out of it. And we should live together. That’s what married people do,” she said, walking past him towards the second bedroom.

“Magnum?” she said after she pushed the door open. He winced. “Where is the bed?”

“I lent it to Rick,” Magnum said, not sure if this was the universe conspiring against him or not. After a second he decided it was not. 

“What happened to Rick’s bed?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Apparently it broke. I didn’t ask how,” he explained as he scratched his neck.

“I see,” she said. “You feel you can just lend out Robin’s things to anyone and everyone?”

“Not anyone. Rick.” Magnum sighed and walked over to her. “It’s fine. We can share. Or I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“Sleeping on the sofa?” she sighed as he took the handle of her suitcase. “Hardly a long term solution.”

He remembered her arguing against him sleeping on the sofa when he’d stayed at the main house that time the guest house had termites. Waking up with the lads snarling at him wasn’t exactly fun but annoying her had been. 

“We’ll find another bed for the second bedroom tomorrow. And for tonight, I’ll take the sofa. I probably won’t get much sleep anyway.” She rubbed her hands over her arms as if she was cold. Only she was still in the long-sleeved top. 

“I thought you said sleeping in anything but a bed was bad for you?” he pointed out as he began leading her bag into his bedroom.

“No, I said eating in bed leads to insomnia,” she clarified. 

“Then we won’t eat in bed and you should sleep fine,” he said, parking her suitcase next to the dresser he never used.

“Are you suggesting we share the bed Magnum?” she asked glancing at the bed next to them, her tone making it sound as if she wanted him to clarify if he was really serving dirt for dinner or not. 

“As you said, we’re pretending to be married.” He shrugged nonchalantly even though he was pretty invested in the outcome. Just because as soon as their current “dilemma” had become clear to him he kept imagining her sleeping in his bed, wearing something much more revealing than her current outfit. “What if someone government person asks me if you snore? Or kick?”

“I don’t snore,” she assured him, “Nor do I kick.”

“You sure?” he said with a raised eyebrow.

She gave him a look.

“Okay! But what if I do? Or maybe I drool? Or talk in my sleep? Wear socks to bed? How will we know these very important things about each other unless we spend a few nights together?”

“What are you Magnum? Five?” she said before she marched out of the room.

“More like fifteen,” he said to himself when she was out of earshot, running his hand through his hair, wondering if she’d agreed or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we got Magnum and Higgins under the same roof, possibly in the same bed (thank you Rick) and I also got some more of the plot worked out so I kinda know where we're going with this story! All in all, feeling real good (all though I still haven't gotten around to doing my class assignments for this week, but what does one need higher education for anyway?)
> 
> Also, yes, kinda just realized I write about Juliet imagining living her cover story, in almost the same context/way as I do in my FF Cover Story. But here there is an actual cover story, so it's really totally different...


	9. A Night of First and Thirds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird that I'm excited by the fact that right now Cover Story and this one are the most commented on fics in the Magnum PI fandom...

### A Night of First and Thirds 

Juliet stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, at the faint difference in color her arms, her stomach, her chest. Her face. She wondered if Sean was right. She’d thought the tan she’d acquired during her two years in Hawaii, despite copious amounts of SPF, looked good. Healthy. Maybe it didn’t. 

Turning to check for tan lines on her back she noticed a faint bruise on her left shoulder. She frowned because all though she’d been a little sore from Sean slamming her into the wall last night she’d been pleased to note there hadn’t been any bruising. Apparently she’d missed this small mark, probably from hitting the side of a picture frame.

A distant memory floated back to her as she touched it. Shortly after she’d guessed Sean was a spy - much to his displeasure - he’d dislocated their shoulder while they were sparing. He’d told her he could put it back and that doing it quickly rather than going to the hospital for it would make it heal faster. He’d said to not scream when he did it, to pretend they were in the field, hiding from enemy agents. Even just recalling that pain was enough to make her start to break out in a cold sweat.

Doing her best to shake the memory off, she grabbed the grey t-shirt she’d brought to sleep in from the counter, put it on and slipped into Magnum’s dim bedroom. 

She’d taken her time in the bathroom, washing up, brushing and flossing and staring at herself in the mirror in the hopes Magnum would be asleep.

He wasn’t, but he was carefully tucked away on what was clearly _his_ side of the bed. Saying nothing she slipped in on _her_ side, acutely aware of just how loud her breathing, the rustling of the sheets and even her own heartbeat sounded in the quiet room.

Clicking off the lamp on her side table, she wanted to say something but she couldn’t even look over at him for some reason. Maybe she should have slept on the sofa. She still could. 

But she wouldn’t. 

She told herself it was because she needed to sleep in a comfortable bed after last night’s restless night. 

She told herself that was all it was.

It had nothing to do with gratitude over today. Over a lot of things. Nothing to do with how the visa situation and then Sean’s return had made her feel locked in, trapped and Magnum's crazy plan was like a key to the cage. A crazy plan that was impacting his life as much as hers now. And she hadn’t even thanked him for it. In fact, she’d spent most of the day being rather distant towards him. Everyone, if she was being honest.

“Magnum,” she said after another minute of staring up at the dark ceiling. “I’m sorry I was short with you today.”

“It’s okay,” he told her softly. “We don’t always have to be at our best.”

“I still want to apologize. This must be difficult for you too,” she continued. “Lying to TC and Rick, even though that was your idea. But mostly because of what Hannah did to you...even if she had good reason. Just offering to marry me must have been difficult, having me actually accept even more so.”

He shifted around so he was on his side and she could feel his eyes on her. She kept looking at the ceiling though. “Funnily enough I haven’t thought about it. This situation has nothing to do with Hannah.”

“Because you loved her,” she said, wondering why that made her so sad.

“No.” He reached out, gently touching one of her curls, wrapping it slowly around one finger. She thought him touching her hair should bother her. But it didn’t. “Because you’d never betray me like that.”.

She loved how sure he was of that. But a part of her was scared his trust was misplaced. She had spent more than a decade of her life as a spy. She’d lied and betrayed people then. She’d even betrayed Richard, even though he’d -thankfully- never known it. 

So even though she didn’t want to betray Magnum, she knew sometimes there were choices, situations, out of one's control.

Or was that just something people told themselves? To feel better about their bad choices? What if it was? Could she simply choose to never betray him and then just fight with everything she had not to do so? She decided she would.

“No,” she managed, meeting his eyes. “I wouldn’t.”

He smiled boyishly. 

“What?” she asked, wondering what he was smiling about in the middle of such a serious discussion.

“I just realized, when we’re married, technically I won’t owe you money for the repairs on the Ferrari anymore,” he said cheerfully rolling back over onto his back, still grinning. “My money being your money and your money being mine!”

“Magnum!” she cried.

“Maybe I should have married you long ago, I’d have been a lot richer,” he continued, still looking as pleased as punch.

“Bastard,” she said cheerfully, finding herself grabbing a pillow and pummeling him with it. 

“What are you doing?” he managed between laughing and grabbing a pillow to attempt to hold her off.

“ _Now we discove’ your nefarious reasons fo’ agreein’ to this barmy scheme_!” she said, feeling a little like she’d lost her mind.

“What is that accent?” he asked as their pillows collided. “Irish pirate?”

Rather than answer him, because being honest she had no idea herself, she smacked him straight in the face with the pillow.

What followed was the first pillow fight of Juliet Higgins’s life.

It was completely the opposite of what she thought tonight would be like, and yet somehow hitting Magnum with a fluffy pillow and having him do the same to her while they both laughed seemed to relieve the tension she’d felt take over her body and mind. 

But as all good things, it came to an end as he grabbed her ‘pillow’ hand, shaking it a little as he rolled them over. She winced as her sore shoulder hit the mattresses and he stopped laughing. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, letting go of her wrist and moving off her. “Did I hurt you?”

“Please Magnum, as if you could hurt me,” she deflected and hit him with the pillow again. 

“I surrender,” he said and she bashed him twice more before letting go of the pillow. “I surrender.”

Both breathing hard they lay on their backs. The neat division of his/her side they’d started with was gone. Magnum leg was on her side, and her arm on his side, their hands mere inches from each other.

“I can’t believe you hit me with a _pillow_ ,” he chuckled. 

She took a deep “ _I_ can’t believe I hit you with a pillow.” But she didn’t regret it. “You deserved it though.”

“Me? I was merely pointing out a quirky coincidence,” he said, mock hurt.

“Uhuh,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s the story you’re going with?”

She felt him shrug and then he yawned. She did too. 

“Good night Thomas,” she said after a few moments.

He mumbled something that might have been goodnight, then, just when she was sure he’d fallen asleep, she felt his hand slip into hers.

Three times today he’d taken her hand. But this time was by far her favorite. And the only time she allowed herself to keep holding on long after she should have let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Juliet Higgins starting a pillow fight and doing a pirate accent 100% in character? Probably not. Do I care?
> 
> Also, fun fact: I'm 2 followers short of 300 on my Magnum PI Tumblr if anyone want to go over there and follow me [(@Magnumdays)](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/magnumdays)


	10. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought chapter 9 was fluffy? We've now progressed to fluff without even the hint of a plot... 
> 
> But enjoy it, because it's the last super light chapter before we get back to the serious drama for a while.

### Morning

Magnum was normally himself when he dreamt. Only occasionally would he float outside his body, looking down at himself from the outside, like he was a ghost of some sort. This was one of those dreams.

He was watching himself and Higgins get off a subway. Only, they were wearing school uniforms and looked about nine years old. Or he did. The little Higgins was probably no more than seven, and rather than blonde curls, she had brown ones.

He wondered at the brown hair. Generally, when he dreamed of Higgins she was her normal blonde self. Then again she’d never been a little girl in his dreams before either.

“You ready?” Little Magnum asked Little Higgy, relieving her of a yellow backpack as they got to the escalators. Only rather than follow the adult commuters towards the working escalator they’d headed for the one that stood still

“Uuhuh,” she agreed with a nod. “One-”

“Two-”

She took off.

“Three! Cheater,” Little Magnum called and rushed after her, the extra yellow backpack not slowing him down at all.

Magnum watched as his child self caught up with and outran Little Higgins who's shorter legs made the competition decidedly unfair. Then again, she had cheated at the start, which wasn’t exactly right either.

In the end, both the adult Magnum and Little Magnum waited for her at the top of the escalator. 

“One day I’ll beat you,” she told him surely as she took the backpack from him. “You wait and see!”

Little Magnum laughed. 

Adult Magnum did too, even though he knew it was true.

* * *

“Wake up,” Higgin’s voice and something - a pillow - hitting him in the face, pulled him out of his dream. “It’s past nine.”

“So?” he said, still smiling from the dream. “We don’t have anywhere to be.”

She was freshly showered and dressed, standing with her hands on her hips, looking down at him. “It’s still not a good idea to sleep the day away.” 

He smiled at that. At her. The strange way life worked. Because if anyone had told him a week ago he’d be engaged to and waking up to Juliet Higgins, he’d have thought they were mad. 

“Your smiling?” she asked suspiciously."Why?"

“I had a good dream,” he said, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back against the pillows. “We were kids and we were running up a broken escalator.”

She tilted her head. “That doesn't sound very fun.” 

“Well, it was. And there was a working escalator and everything, we just wanted to compete to see who got to the top fastest.”

“Did I win?” Of course she’d ask that.

He grinned. “Nope.” He decided to not tell her that in the dream little Higgy had been a good few years younger than little Magnum. 

“So clearly not a realistic dream then,” she said self-assuredly. “If you need me, I’ll be at the main house, hacking into the National Archives.”

"Don't work too hard," he called after her as she left the room and a few seconds later he heard the door to the guest house shut. 

While he was still smiling, he suddenly felt a little sad that he wasn’t a morning person, because he really liked the idea of waking up and seeing Juliet Higgins sleeping next to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this chapter was just basically random fluff with no actual significance to the plot. At least I don’t think so, but I wrote it and it’s kinda cute so I thought, why not share it. I might remove it later on if I feel it's too much like a filler/ random fluff.
> 
> And the dream I’m also not sure if the Little Higgins/Magnum are actual little Magnum/ Higgins or some sort of future kids Magnum’s subconscious dreamed up. I'll leave it up to you to decide...


	11. A Spy Walks Into a Tiki Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Booo, I'm really not feeling happy today. Worked at my boring temp job for 8 hours, applied for jobs for like another hour and then worked on the next chapter of this. I mean working on is for fun. But it can somehow be fun and exhausting at the same time!

### A Spy Walks Into a Tiki Bar 

Rick was thinking about maybe getting a dog. It wasn’t a spur of the moment thing either. He’d been thinking about it for a while. A shelter dog for sure. Some mutt, a cute one of course, but still, no one but Rick wanted.

Then he stopped thinking about it, because the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen walked into the bar. 

She pushed her sunglasses up on her head, giving La Mariana a thorough once over. Rick hoped she liked the charming Tiki bar but her expression was so carefully neutral he couldn't tell one way or another.

“Hi,” he said as she walked up to the bar. “What can I get you?”

“I heard this was the place to come for authentic fish ‘n chips,” she said in a smooth British accent as she looked at him with shockingly green eyes.

“What? Um,” he managed, “Yes. Yes we are.”

She smiled. “I’ll have that then. And if you could call Juliet Higgins and tell her Sophie is waiting for her, I’d be ever so grateful.”

* * *

“I’m not changing my name, Magnum,” she told him as they headed towards La Marina. “We’re only going to be married for a short time.”

“We don’t know that,” he pointed out and actually had the nerve to grin. “Robin could be undercover for months.”

“Still not doing it.”

“What about the business cards? If you changed your name we could just keep on using them,” he pouted, lagging behind.

Turning around she walked backward a few steps. “Not happening.”

“Fine,” he muttered. ”Tell me about your friend.”

“Sophie Taylor,” Juliet said as they walked in the bar. “Not her real name. We’ve been friends for ten years and I still have no idea what it really is. Raven hair, posh and can kill you ten different ways with her pinky. Sticky hands. Good with explosives."

“Is that any way to introduce your best friend?” Sophie said, coming up from right beside the door. She was in a business suit, heels and holding a pink drink with an umbrella in it. 

“Best friend?” Magnum said, smiling at Sophie. Because that was what guys did when they saw Sophie. They smiled and fell all over themselves.

“Please Jules, tell me you’ve at least mentioned me,” Sophie said as she leaned in for a light hug and a cheek kiss. “Else I’ll be hurt.”

“I have,” Juliet assured Sophie, even though she wasn’t sure she had before today. Sophie was so entwined with her life and work at MI6. With something Juliet had been trying hard to forget.

“Yeah,” Magnum assured Sophie. “Talks about you all the time.”

“He’s a terrible liar,” she said accusingly. “I’m Sophie.”

“Magnum,” he said, clearly not minding being insulted by her. Or maybe Magnum didn’t think being called a terrible liar was an insult. 

“Delighted,” she said before turning to the bar quickly. “Rick! Bring Juliet some wine and me another one of these!” 

“I’d rather-”

“Come on.” Sophie liked their arms together. “You don’t mind if I borrow Jules for a minute do you?”

Magnum eyes went Juliet’s, checking to see if this was alright. She gave him the tiniest nod that it was. Sophie, whatever else she was, was her friend. Maybe not best friend, because Juliet had never had a best friend. Or at least, she hadn’t before she came to Hawaii.

“Just give her back in one piece, alright?” Magnum joked, but he was still looking at Juliet even though he was talking to Sophie.

Sophie gave him a mock salute with her pink drink.

“Are you drunk?” Juliet whispered as they moved to a table.

“No,” Sophie said sitting down with enough sudden poise and grace. “But I thought it better Rick and your soldier boy thought I might be.”

“They’re not the enemy,” Juliet protested then shut up as Rick came over with another drink and a beer for her.

She took it and felt a warm little flutter spread through her as she thanked Rick. Because he’d known she’d prefer the beer. He knew her. He was her friend… he was also giving Sophie puppy dog eyes. Oh boy.

“Drinking beer now are we?” Sophie shook her head. 

Juliet said nothing, only took a swing of her beer.

“It’s beautiful here,” Sophie said after a few seconds, clearly trying to change the subject towards something more neutral. And as she was as British as Juliet herself, comments about the scenery and weather were, of course, her first choice. “I can see why you like it.”

“Yet you’re here to talk me into leaving,” Juliet said because it was the only thing that made sense. She glanced quickly over towards Magnum who was watching them from the bar. He must know that too. 

“Your grandfather came to see me,” Sophie said, ignoring Juliet's words. "Said he'd been trying to reach you."

“I...” Juliet said clenching her teeth. 

“Don’t you want to come back to see him? He looked quite a fright-”

Subconsciously she used her thumb to move her engagement ring around a little, feeling better just knowing it was there. “No. I don't.”

“Alright-y,” Sophie said with a sigh. “But if I were you I’d go see him. Maybe ask him to leave me the London townhouse or something else not entailed.” 

“I have no need for a house in London,” Juliet pointed out. “My life is here.”

“With Magnum?” she said, glancing towards the ring she’d in a very none-Sophie like manner, not yet mentioned. “Are you seriously marrying a broke private detective?”

“I am,” she said proudly, even though Sophie was trying to make her feel bad about it, hint Magnum was somehow not good enough. 

“For your visa or because you love him?” Sophie questioned and Juliet wondered if she needed to sweep her house and maybe even the Ferrari for bugs. Because she and Magnum weren't being that obvious were they? They could be a couple. People had mistaken them for one in the past. “Because if it’s for love, god help me Jules. I mean sure, he’s cute and a decorated sailor and that prisoner of war thing, tragic, but isn’t one spy girlfriend enough for the guy? Hannah was it? Worked for the CIA but went rogue? Sounds awfully familiar. I think he has a type. ”

“You have a file on Magnum?” Juliet asked, a little offended at the casual way Sophie was spouting very private and personal information of Mangum’s. 

She rolled her eyes. “You know as well as I do we have files on everyone. Now which one is it?”

“Sophie-”

“Because we can make this whole visa thing disappear, give you an extension without Robin ever needing to sign a thing,” Sophie promised. 

“In return for what?” Juliet asked, because MI6 was no charity.

“Nothing much. You stay here, but you work for us. You’d be surprised at the amount of information that goes through Hawaii.”

Sophie sipped her drink. 

Juliet raised an eyebrow. 

Because this was an offer she might just consider. Even though she’d hate it, it wouldn’t change her life too drastically. But it would also take her back to the lonely life of being a spy, ruining the sometimes chaotic but always beautiful and never lonely existence she’d created for herself in Hawaii.

“With things heating up in China with the coronavirus and everything surrounding it, we’re eager for intel from this side of the world,” Sophie explained. “The fact that you speak Mandarin is just an extra bonus.”

“What about Sean’s offer? Brussels?” she wondered suddenly because the two were so different. 

Now it was Sophie’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Sean’s here?”

“Yes,” Juliet said, trying to decide if Sophie was truly surprised or just acting. Had to be an act, MI6 wouldn’t get their wires that badly crossed. Then, again large organizations sometimes did. “Offered me a place on his team. Some new thing he’s setting up in Brussels.”

Sophie shrugged. “I guess with Brexit there is gonna be a surge of British spies converging in Belgium. I’m surprised Sean would be heading it though. Last I heard he was in hot water, some sort of investigation last autumn.”

“Sean?” Juliet asked, not believing it. Yet, it was also the most sensible thing she’d heard all week. Because Sean’s methods could be anything but kosher.

“I guess some cats always land on their feet.” Sophie sighed, running her finger around the rim of her glass, looking over at the bar. At Rick. Bloody hell... “But if Sean can’t convince you, I guess all hope is lost.”

“Don’t be daft,” she told her friend, for, despite all the other things between them, they were friends. “If anyone could have, it would have been you.”

Sophie smiled impishly then her face turned serious again.

“I have some other information that might interest you,” Sophie said, sliding a USB drive out of her bag. “Free of charge.”

“What is it?” 

“Remember how you asked for information about Ivan a few months back?” Juliet nodded. “Ever since Magnum put a face on the guy though, he’s been popping up all over. We believe he’s planning an attack of some sort.” 

“When? Where?” Juliet asked, concerned.

“We don’t know. They’re thinking London or Paris because he’s been spotted on CC cameras in those cities talking to some real shady characters, people with ties to all sorts of organizations," Sophie said, all hints of the flirty slightly tipsy version of her gone.

''Europe?" Higgins thought South America and the Middle East were Ivan's normal stomping grounds. "You sure?"

"I’m not on the task force but that's what Don said when he gave me the drive." Sophie held out the drive for her. Juliet reached out for it. Sophie held on to the small drive for a few seconds before letting it go."He hoped you might have better luck the information on there than us.”

“Don's still working? I thought he was retiring.”

“Spies don’t retire Juliet,” Sophie said as she got up. “At least most don’t.”

“I did,” Juliet pointed out, wanting to make Sophie understand.

“Then I guess you can throw that pen drive away and go to the beach with your fiancé. Enjoy another beautiful day in paradise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So show of hands, who thinks Juliet throws the USB away?


	12. Pandora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnum and Higgy disagree on the best course of action.

### Pandora

“That’s great,” Magnum said into the phone as she scrolled through the hundreds of pictures of Ivan and people in his organization.

“Hey Higgy,” he said once he’d hung up. “Rick found us an opening at the courthouse on Saturday!”

“Mmm,” she said, not really listening as she stopped on a photo.

She stared, not believing what she was seeing.

“What is it?“ he asked, seeming to sense her distress.

“That’s Sean,” she said, enlarging the photo to get a better look. “That’s Sean talking to one of Ivan’s closest associates.”

Magnum came over to her desk bending forward and leaning his elbows on the desk to get a close looker at the picture. He also got closer to her. Closer than normal. Close enough she could feel the heat from his arm. She wondered if this was a new thing or if her noticing was the new thing.

After studying the picture for a few moments he said, “I don’t know….”

“What you mean you don’t know?” she said. Even though Sean’s face was shadowed and his eyes completely hidden she knew it was him. Knew from the body language, the expression, the little twist of his lip. “It’s him. It’s obvious.”

"Not to me,” Magnum said with a shrug. “You can’t see that guy’s face.”

Giving him the side-eye she quickly switched over to a photo editing software and enlarged and lighted up the image. It didn’t improve the image as much as she liked but enough. Now he'd agree with her.

“See,” she pointed, trying to make her reeling mind work. “It’s him.”

Was Sean undercover? Trying to catch Ivan? Or was it real… was he working with Ivan because he’d switched sides?

“I don’t see it, that could be anyone-”

“It’s him.” She stood, needing to move. And to not be so close to him. “Question is, what does it mean?” she asked herself more than him.

Heart rate rising she suddenly felt pieces begin to fall into place. Sean showing up, Sophie showing up. Sophie giving her the USB but at the same time almost warning her away from it.

And it all led her to a very clear conclusion.

Sean was working for or with Ivan. And the MI6 knew. But couldn't do anything about their now fallen golden boy working with a terrorist.

For how long had Sean and Ivan been in league with one another though? Did her being connected to Magnum have anything to do with it or was it just dumb luck? She felt too shocked to even speculate about it.

Sophie had been sent to Hawaii by MI6 not to try to get her back into the fold. But because they hoped the information on the USB, the history between her and Sean, her connection to Magnum and Ivan would make her take action. She was their secret weapon. Their way in.

“Okay,” she told herself. She wished Sophie had just come out with it. But that wasn’t the way the Spy game was played. At least she’d tried, hinting that Juliet might be better off without the USB drive.“I have to go with him.” 

“What?” Magnum said loudly, snapping to attention.

“I have to take Sean up on his offer and go to Brussels with him,” she said, turning away from him, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread enveloped her. 

“It’s not him,” Magnum said, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her around again. “Okay? That’s just some random dude.”

“It’s Sean,” she insisted.

“It’s not-”

“We need to stop Ivan,” she almost yelled. “He might have seemed like he was done with you, but what if he’s not? Sean is our way in-”

Magnum shook his head, eyes narrowing. “Going with Sean when we don’t know if he’s involved-”

“He is. Why else would Sophie have given me this USB?” She tapped her temple. “Think Magnum.”

“I think you want it to be him,” he said, suddenly harsh. “So you’ll have a reason to go with him.” 

“That’s not true.” She took a shaky breath and stepped away from him, wanting distance from even the idea. “I don’t want to go with him.” _but I will. To stop Ivan, stop whatever he’s planing. To stop him from ever hurting you again._

He hesitated for a few seconds, studying her. Then he nodded, though she worried he was maybe not completely convinced. “Then why?”

“As I said, we have to figure out how this is all connected. To you, to the information, MI6 has gathered, to whatever Ivan’s plan is. The possible attack.” She stood. “Sean is our way in! If I accept his offer-” 

“No.” 

"Magnum-"

"There's gotta be a better way." He looked so serious, so worried. "A safer one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of half the chapter and the "end" got kind of mangled a little because I wanted to post something but I'm not done with the rest of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!


	13. A Good Plan (or Not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our heroes butt heads with each other some more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember Juliet still haven't told Magnum anything about Sean so he must be forgiven some of the conclusion he comes to...

### A Good Plan (or Not)

_“As I said, we have to figure out how this is all connected. To you, to the information, MI6 has gathered, to whatever Ivan’s plan is. The possible attack.” She stood. “Sean is our way in! If I accept his offer-”_

_“No.”_

_"Magnum-"_

_"There's gotta be a better way. A safer one."_

She gave him a look. “I’m not helpless Magnum.”

“I know you’re not,” he said, because of course, he knew that. She was possibly the most capable person he knew. “I’m saying you can’t _just_ go with him.”

“I _can’t_?” She raised an eyebrow and he winced internally.

“I know that sounds like I’m trying to tell you what to do, but it’s not,” he began, trying to figure out the right way to say the things he needed to say. How to change her mind when she’d made it up. “Or maybe it is, a little bit but...”

He knew ‘ _it’s dangerous’_ or ‘ _you’d have to leave Hawaii_ ’ and especially not ‘ _I don’t want you to because I just don’t_ ’ wouldn’t sway her.

Reason!

That was his way in. Reason and logic and all that good stuff. 

A sudden realization hit him. “If MI6 isn’t working with Sean then he won’t be able to uphold his promise to get your visa extended.” 

She drew her eyebrows together. “This op might take months. Robin will-”

“What if he’s not?” Because damned it, this was the best logical-ish thing he could think of. And he’d become weirdly attached to the idea of actually marrying her.

Maybe that was something he should start worrying about.

“So what?” she asked, hand on hip. “We get married and I leave straight away? That won’t look any better-”

“No.” He shook his head, a plan forming. “We still get married and then we go on our honeymoon. To Brussels. Sean did offer to give me a job too.”

“But he didn’t mean it, Magnum, you cannot be serious,” she said forcefully. But he was.

“It’s a good plan.” He grabbed her hand. “We’ll convince Sean it’s real, we’re real. That way I can go as backup without him realizing it. It’s the ultimate cover!” 

“That’s crazy,” she protested. 

“Is it, really?” Maybe it was.

She shook her head. “He won’t buy it.” 

“He will,” he said, suddenly liking this plan a lot more. “We’ll just have to be really convincing!”

But she kept shaking her head. “I’m not sure even TC and Rick really bought it! Sean is a spy, he’s-he’s-”

“What? The guy who taught you chess and Russian,” Magnum said, aware Sean was the more sophisticated, the more likely, the more fitting person for Higgins to ever marry if she married anyone for real. Except not anymore if he was in league with Ivan. That somehow didn’t help. Because even girls as smart as Higgins might fall for a bad boy. "The smartest guy you know? Real life James bond? Your mentor? Your ex-" 

“No,“ she growled out. “Yes. You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it? I don’t-”

”He created me,” she yelled.

She froze after she said it, her face, which had flushed a little pink from their argument, turned white. Magnum too felt the words leave him. Because what did you say to that?

Swallowing she just stared at him for a few long seconds before actually turning and matching out of the study. She didn't run, but she came damned close.

“Higgins,” he called, hurrying after her. “Juliet-”

“I need a moment,” she said, not slowing down.

“Sean didn’t create you,“ he said loudly after her. “Maybe he helped shape you, taught you things, but no one created you. Okay? You’re Juliet Higgins everything you are and have done, that belongs to you.”

She stopped. He did too. He didn’t want to chase after her. He wanted her to come back to him. For them to make a plan; together. 

If she was so sure it was Sean in the photo, that he and Ivan were working together, that Sean had gone rogue, he’d go with her to Brussels to try to figure it out. Stop whatever they might be planning. 

And if all she was seeing was her own ghosts, if it wasn’t Sean in the photo, and it was just her subconsciously wanting to reconnect with him....Magnum didn’t want to think about that possible scenario. The one were going to Brussels somehow led Sean and Juliet to restart whatever they had years ago.

He wanted to say that it didn't seem likely because she seemed so distant towards him. She’d said she didn’t want to go with him. Months ago she’d told him she’d found something in Hawaii that she didn't want to lose, that was worth staying for. That couldn’t have changed so quickly, could it? But then again, if she was pulled back into the exciting life of a spy, worked alongside Mr. James Bond… things might change.

He didn’t like the idea of Sean and Juliet together. Not just because there was clearly something off with the power dynamics there. For god’s sake, she’d just said he _created her._ That was wrong on so many levels. Even if she’d said it hadn’t been problematic back when she was twenty, it clearly had. 

But being honest with himself, it wasn’t really about Sean. It was about Juliet. He didn’t like the idea of her dating anyone.

Red flags and little alarm bells started going off in Magnum’s head right then. And they made him suddenly question if marrying her was a good idea. Because if he’d faked married her, convinced her to pretend being together to fool Sean...that would muddle up him actually pursuing something with her.

Did he want that? Do be more than her friend? Her partner? He’d thought he didn’t. Yet the suddenly very real possibility of Sean somehow coming between them in a myriad of different ways had him panicking. 

Staring at her tense back and thinking of the things they’d been through together, how terrified he sometimes was of losing her, how much he cared about her opinion, admired her and respected her, Magnum came to the terrifying conclusion that he might not only love her but also be quite a bit in love with her.

“Okay,” she said quietly, not turning around.

“Okay what?” he asked, feeling disoriented by his realization. 

“We get married,” she continued, still facing away from him. “We go to Brussels together, fake things so convincingly that even Sean buys it.”

“Right,” he said even though he no longer felt any joy at this plan. “Good. Great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something feels wrong about this chapter. I think splitting the last two was a mistake and I'm not sure how to fix it. Or if I should just keep moving. The problem is if I go back I'll lose myself to just editing and not write anything.
> 
> Also sorry there isn't more fluffy good feels to give you on V-day!


	14. Strageness

### Strangeness

Magnum was acting strange. Beyond his normal strangeness. 

She first noticed it as she went to wake him up, after finding he’d never come to bed. The bed they were still sharing because she hadn’t been able to come up with a good explanation to why she was adding in another bed into the guest house the day after she’d moved in there, to Kumu. Or maybe just because the night before had been almost, kinda, sorta...nice.

“Did you sleep out here?” she asked Magnum, even though she knew he had. “I thought we said it was good idea to share-”

“You think I meant to sleep out here?” He said defensively, sitting up quickly. “This sofa is nowhere near as comfortable as the one in the main house!”

“Magnum, you do realize they are the same brand of sofa?” she told him, confused because he wasn’t meeting her eyes. Probably he was still sleepy...

“What? They are? That’s kinda weird.” When she sat down next to him, he jumped up off the sofa and said, “I’m gonna go shower.”

She frowned as he left, biting her lips and twisting her engagements, feeling a little miffed without quite knowing why. 

Then it was their meeting with the client looking for her husband’s secret love child. Juliet had found the boy yesterday and talked to his mother who had agreed to let them arrange a meeting with Mrs. Northon in a few weeks. 

Only during the whole talk with Mrs. Northon, Magnum just kept on staring at her and then when she stared back he’d stop and start talking to Mrs. Northon about the weather or her cats, rather than the case.

It was completely bizarre. But not until he asked her to drop him off by the mall and that he’d take an Uber home, did she become truly concerned for his well being. (Seriously, she still wasn’t sure she’d heard that right because Magnum was not a mall type of guy and despite the many times she'd suggested it he seemed to have something against Ubers.) 

“Actually Magnum,” she said, both needing to intervene and actually needing his help. “I was hoping to borrow your brain for a bit.”

“Sure,” he said, nodding, without making a snarky comeback how she’d just admitted he had more than half a brain or something.

“I created an algorithm to help me narrow down places Sean might be yesterday,” she told him and she could have sworn his eye twitched. “I have a few areas to check out. I think you might know them better than me.”

“Why are we looking for Sean?” he asked stiffly.

She rolled her eyes. “How else would we tell him we’re taking him up on his offer?”

It was actually more than that. Sean had broken into her house, snuck in and put a knife to her throat. That required some sort of retribution. And in the spy world, that meant she had to find him and sneak upon him. She wouldn’t cut any clothes off him though. She briefly fantasized about shooting him... but she’d behave. They needed him to get to Ivan.

“Call him?” Magnum suggested, and she felt more than saw because she was focused on driving, him study her. 

“Do you have his number? Because I don’t,” she snarked. She felt a little bad at her tone but it was hard not to feel angry. Angry at Robin for putting her in this situation, Sean for showing up, Magnum for asking her to marry him and now acting so weird she couldn’t pinpoint what was going on.

Anger at herself because her algorithm had given her four possible locations to check. Sean could for sure have done better. He’d bypassed her security at Robin’s Nest and she still hadn’t figure out how.

He was just better than her and that burned through her. How was he always better than her?

“So what? We show up at his place and tell him _‘hey dude, we changed our mind. We want to go with you to Europe now_?’ and he’s gonna be happy?” Magnum asked, finally sounding a bit more like himself.

“We are not going anywhere. _I_ am going to go talk to him,” she said. “I’ll sell it.”

“And what? You want me to wait in the car?”

She tilted her head and gave him her best patronizing smile. “Yes. I do.”

She expected him to argue more. But he didn’t. Probably that was just as well. Only watching him stare aimlessly out at the passing scenery was a bit disturbing.

“Look for Indian restaurants, Sean is big on Indian food,” she instructed. “And for sale or foreclosures that look occupied.”

“Or a black sedan with plates that matched the one he was driving,” Magnum said, pointing towards the driveway of a house. 

A shiny black sedan that looked identical to the one Sean had been driving yesterday. She couldn’t quite believe he’d be that sloppy. Only the plates must have been switched back and forth because she hadn’t gotten any hits on them. She didn’t put it past Sean to do something like that though. To make her doubt her own ability to even track a plate.

She parked across from the house, feeling her heart rate pick up. Even with the AC turned off the hot air didn’t feel even warm on her fingers any longer. 

“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Magnum asked, gently.

“I’m good.”

“Oh, right, okay,” he said and then nothing else.

She’d have to talk to him about whatever this strange way he was acting was about when she was done with Sean. Right then though, she had to steel herself for the coming meeting. 

Biting her lip she unclipped her seat belt. But she stayed in the car. Because maybe she did want Magnum to come with her. She’d been so sure she didn’t. She wanted to sneak in, “surprise” Sean the same way he had her. The spy way.

But she didn’t want to be a spy anymore. She wasn’t.

She was a PI.

A PI with a partner.

“Actually,” she said, glancing at him. He had his concerned face on and the fact that he was clearly worried about her even with whatever strangeness was going on with him, made her feel safe.“Would you? Come with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So probably updates will be every other day for a while since I have a crazy busy this week at work(s) (and people in real life keep texting and wanting to hang out after work. Like, what's going on? Don't they know that after 9 hours in a boring office 'normal' people need to go home and fan-girl in order to recharge and be able to survive the next 9 hours?)


	15. Some More Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnum starts confused. Ends determined.

###  Some More Confusion 

Magnum had been weighing pros and cons, trying to figure out just how his  _ realization _ from the day before changed things between him and Juliet. Did it have to change anything? Maybe he could just be a little bit in love with her and that was fine. It was only a little. If he tried hard enough he’d probably be able to not be in love with her.

Was that the right thing to do though? Even though she was so frustrating at times, she was also his friend, his partner. She understood him. If he could have that, plus so much more...wasn’t that worth the risk? 

Except was there even anything to risk? He knew Juliet liked him better than she did a lot of people, that he was a little bit important to her but there was a difference between that and what he felt. He felt… he wasn’t sure how to describe it. Sick, terrified and thrilled all at once. Because unlike Abby, Hannah, Rebecka, Wendela, Lily and CeCe (and all the other women he'd dated), he already knew and liked Juliet more than he should - and he had no idea how she felt. Which was new for him.

“No,” she said when he slid his hand into his pocket for his lock picks. “Not the front door.”

He nodded. Who knew what kind of booby traps a spy might use on his front door? Well, Juliet probably did, seeing a she’d been one.

Maybe he should ask her more about that. She was very stingy with information about her past, especially her spy years and now about Sean too. He wanted to know though. Even though it was in the past (except for this crazy Sean adventure) it was part of her. How she’d become the person she was, how she’d ended up in Hawaii, working for Robin.

He still realized he didn’t even know how she knew Robin.

“Magnum are you listening?” she asked as they snuck around the back of Sean’s house. 

“Yes?” he said, having missed what she was saying completely. “No?”

“I said the place looks empty, I’m thinking Sean isn’t here,” she said, probably for the second time.

“Mmm right,” he said, because he too had noticed - even with his thoughts about Juliet’s past (and his not good enough knowledge of it) distracting him - that the placed looked deserted. 

“But you see that logo on the window? The house is a smart house,” she said, digging her phone out. “Maybe that’s why Sean picked it. Maybe not. I should be able to access most of the cameras and maybe even the locks on the windows through the app-”

Before she even had time to finish he’d noticed the window with the sticker she’d just nodded toward was just a tiny bit ajar and pushed it fully open. 

“I’d say that’s as close to an invitation as we’re going to get,” he pointed out and grinned. She might be brilliant and an ex-spy, but occasionally his common sense and good luck almost felt like a superpower too. “I’ll give you a boost.”

“It’s too easy,” she said, shaking her head but after a quick survey of the room let him help her into the empty room the window led into. 

He tried very hard not to think any more than he normally did about what sliding his hands along her waist felt like as he hoisted her up. Unfortunately, he failed.

“You good?”

She nodded and said, “Yeah, I’ll go and see if I can open the door for you.”

As he watched her disappear an irrational fear that he’d never see her again struck him. 

Like what if Sean had booby-trapped more than the front door? Or he was in there, waiting to kidnap her away with him to Brussels? Or if he was in league with Ivan and there was a gang of assassins lying in wait? 

His fear was not exactly alleviated when he got back to the front door and it was still closed.

“Higgy?” he called. “You wanna get this door open today or what?”

No answer. 

“Higgins? You okay?”

Silence.

He debated picking or kicking the door down but didn’t. Because she’d told him not to go through the front door. 

That irrational fear was turning to perfectly rational as he called her name again while running back to the room with the open window.

“Juliet? Damn it where are you?” he said, more to himself than her because she wasn’t hearing him as he climbed up and in through the window. 

Magnum decided as he crept through the room, that nothing too bad could have happened to her. Because the universe owed him. After losing his father way too young, having his fiancé betray him, being stuck in a POW camp for a year and a half and then having Nuzo be killed when they were all finally happy and safe… God, fate or destiny, whatever it was, couldn’t take Juliet Higgins away from him too.

Except he knew the world didn’t work that way. 

Anyone could be lost. Best friends, partners, loves. The person who was all of those. Like a broken promise all the futures you imagined together could be torn away in a second.

Exiting the room Magnum stopped, not turning towards the door because there was faint classical music and then someone speaking in a foreign language coming from the back of the house.

“Higgy?” he whispered but as he peeked around the corner and into the living room found her just standing there.

No one else was with her.

The music and the language - Russian - came from the TV she stood in front of. 

Shaking his head at himself, at the terrible place his mind had gone when she hadn’t answered him, he walked over to her. 

She was fine. 

Why had he suddenly panicked at the thought of something happening to her? They went into possibly life-threatening situations all the time. He decided to not think about it right then.

“Higgy?” She kept looking at the TV screen, where a young woman was performing a flowing martial arts workout with a knife in each hand. There was classical music playing as the girl trained, which made it look almost like a dance. 

He put his hand on her back and she tensed. “Juliet?”

“I know how to get in touch with Sean,” she said, turning from the TV slightly. “Let’s go.”

“What’s this?” he pointed towards the screen and as the music stopped, the woman came up to the person filming, and began speaking in rapid Russian. And Magnum realized who the girl was.

“It’s you,” he whispered, now as transfixed as she’d been. "Look how tiny and adorable you are."

Younger Juliet’s hair was dark red, she was thinner and despite having just watched her wield those knives and move her body with precision and grace there was something fragile about her and a youthful sort of innocence to her eyes he’d foolishly not thought she’d ever had. The innocence especially seemed at odds with the fact that she was holding a set of knives she'd just shown she clearly capable of using.

"I'm not adorable," she said, looking at him with a scowl suddenly on her face. "That's from my first undercover assignment for MI6. In _Moskva_.”

"Russia was your first assignment?" he asked but she ignored him.

“Sean and I used an encrypted app I’d created to communicate during my time there ,” she continued explaining. “He’s telling me to reach out to him there.”

“Why don’t you look happy then?” he asked but she shook her head and gave him a look that he read as  _ not here. _ And he realized any good spy would have left a bug or two around. Probably a camera too. 

“Is it because we’re late?” he said, moving closer to her, putting on a charming - or so he hoped - smile. “I don’t blame you. The cake is probably the most important part of a wedding.”

It only took a millisecond for her to understand what he was doing; creating a plausible if at the same time very implausible reason for her to be annoyed. Then she did something he couldn't remember her ever having done on purpose before. 

She _bumped_ him. 

Side of her body quickly pressed against his, warm and hard and soft at the same time. No real weight behind the move but somehow still enough to make him feel unbalanced because it was so unexpected.

It made Magnum feel a teenager because that was when he remembered trying the ‘ _I’m bumping into you as an excuse to have our bodies touch_ ’ thing last. Which was what she'd just done.  For Sean’s benefit in case he was watching? Magnum thought _not._

“The cake is **not** the most important thing,” she said as he bumped her too.

“We’ll have to agree to disagree,” he said, then reached for her hand. 

“You’re impossible Magnum,” she told him but she smiled and let him pull her along. 

And right then, he decided.

No way was he going to let this go, push away what he’d just discovered he was feeling. 

No. 

Because even though a part of him was terrified that all she wanted was what they had now, friendship, partnership, a bigger part of him was scared to go through life never having taken the chance. And suddenly he could clearly see how wonderful, crazy and never boring life with Juliet Higgins as not just his work-partner but life-partner would be. 

Not even trying to fight for that, them, that would be the real mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant for Sean to be in the house and for there to be a bit of a showdown but I scrapped that chapter because I felt we needed to deal with Magnum's confusion before we got to that.
> 
> Also, a random side note, my friend was all "Magnum is a Gryffindor and Higgy is a Hufflepuff" and I was all, "what? Higgins is either a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor. Maybe a Slytherin." But a Hufflepuff? I don't see it. Magnum in Hufflepuff? Maybe - but Higgins?


	16. It's We Now

### It's We Now 

“You’re still upset?” Magnum asked as they walked towards the spot he’d said they were meeting the client who had just texted him - an ice cream truck by the beach of all places!

“I’m fine,” she said even though she wasn’t. She’d wanted to find Sean’s hideaway, surprise him. She’d wanted to face him with Magnum with the both of them prepared and Sean, well, not.

She’d wanted to take some of the power back but all Sean had done was make her feel rusty and predictable. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about the old video or Magnums seeing it.

_Adorable. Piff._

He gave her a look.

“Fine. I’m not fine,” she admitted as Magnum went to the queue for ice cream. She followed even though she didn’t think eating ice cream would be giving off a very professional vibe. Clearly Magnum had no such fears.

“Sean was your mentor, you wanted to show him you still had it, and he one-upped you. I get it,” he said and she was a little surprised he’d made such a good guess. Then again, he knew her and - as much as she sometimes protested the fact - they were a lot alike. “Do you want to keep searching? If that safe house was a set-up he must be staying somewhere else.”

“You’re right,” she said, not even having thought about that. No wonder Sean had managed to trick her. She was basically thinking like a civilian. But even the car he’d driven when he came to see them for the second time, had been a setup – he’d known she’d track it and that she knew what he normally preferred, major road access, food-wise, distance from the airport. “He tricked me.”

“Isn’t that what spies do?” he asked before the guy and his two kids in front of them got their order and it was their turn. Magnum ordered two ice cream cones and surprised her again by knowing her preference. When had they had ice cream together? Months ago at La Marianna after Rick ordered too much and it wouldn’t fit in the freezer.

“It is.” She angrily took a bite of her ice cream, enjoying the way the cold of it almost burned in her mouth and throat. “That’s why he used Russia too. He knew it would distract me.”

“Was this when you were there to infiltrate their counter-intelligence services?” he asked. “KGB?”

“Honestly Magnum! The KGB? That hasn’t been a thing since the early 90s. But yes,” she nodded. “That video was me training with an FSB double agent Sean had turned. It was only my third mission for MI6. First undercover mission.”

“Sean? He was the one that sent you there?” he asked tensely.

She shook her head. “He was against it. Cursed himself for helping to perfect my accent. Convinced MI6 that he should be my handler. I don’t think they knew...well, relationships were frowned upon.”

“I bet they were,” he said sharper than she was used to hearing him talk about most things.

“Sean kept me alive,” she said, not sure why she was defending Sean. It just felt like she had to. Because it was true. In this case, it was so very true. “And it was a huge win. Infiltrating Russian secret police. Launched my career.”

“A career you didn’t even really want,” he pointed out. “Or did you dream about being Jane Bond as a kid? I bet not.”

She thought about this observation and wondered if it was true, had she never really wanted to be a spy. She’d thought she did. Sean had been inspiring. Her skill set as a budding hacker a huge asset, same with her proficiency at learning languages. And she’d wanted to do something important, show that she was important even though she’d been told - never in words, but in actions - that she wasn’t by half her family.

“You know, we don’t have to do this,” he said as they moved over to a wooden table set with a sun umbrella. “Go with Sean.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I’m serious,” he said but she knew he wasn’t. “It’s dangerous. And we’re not police or MI6 or Interpol. It’s not our job.”

She wondered if he actually was serious. He sounded like maybe he was and his eyes were soft. Questioning. Not because he didn’t believe her about Ivan and Sean being connected. But because he'd genuinely would consider not pursuing this possible lead on Ivan if she said she didn’t want to do it.

For a few seconds, she wondered if she really could _not_ go. If they could just stay. Say it wasn’t their business. She’d still have the whole visa/wedding situation but there would be no Sean.

Only...this was her chance. Her chance to prove...what? something to Sean, the world. That she was better. That he was wrong. That she had move on. That she’d never really been his, no matter what he’d told her. Told himself.

She couldn’t let it go. When he’d come back, she’d felt so shaken. But now, learning he was a traitor, that he was involved with Ivan...that made her mad. That was something concrete, something explainable, provable she could be angry about. Want revenge for.

She had to do it. She had to see it through - this time - or she’d never forgive herself.

“Okay,” he said, reading her expression. “I guess we’re going to Belgium.”

“Your ice cream is melting,” she told him even though what she wanted to say was thank you. Even though he didn’t understand why, because not even Juliet fully did, he understood that she had to do this. And he wasn’t going to let her do it alone. Even the way he spoke it was _we_ and not _I_ or _you_. She wondered how long he’d been doing that without her noticing it.

He smiled and got to work consuming the ice cream. She did too, enjoying doing something so simple for once. Just sitting on a table, by the beach, eating ice cream with someone whose company she enjoyed.

“Can I ask you something?” he said after a minute. “And you have to promise to answer truthfully.”

“I’m not promising that,” she said quickly, thinking of all the things she didn’t want to tell him and all the random questions he might think up. 

“Oh come on Higgy, just one,” he said. “It got to do with the wedding!”

Considering for a moment she then shrugged. “You can ask but I reserve the right not to answer.”

“Fair enough,” he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, there was probably more spelling errors than normal and I hope you still liked it.


	17. Destination Wedding?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you live in Hawaii, is it really a Destination Wedding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I bet you didn't see this question coming... 
> 
> and I'm sorry it's short and a little choppy but I've got a cold that is actually making me ice-cold. Like blankets and hoodies under the covers. Buuu!

### You

_Considering for a moment she then shrugged. “You can ask but I reserve the right not to answer.”_

_“Fair enough,” he agreed._

Then he said nothing, just looked at her for a long moment, then at the ocean.

“Well?” she said when he didn’t seem like he was going to actually say anything. And damned it, if he hadn’t piqued her curiosity.

“Hannah told me this thing,” he said, rolling the last little bit of his ice cream cone between his fingers. She remembered to eat some of her own ice cream just in time before it started running off onto her hand. 

It was also a good excuse not to show just how interested she was in hearing what Hannah might have told him that might result in him wanting to ask her a question about their wedding. “She said every girl has a Pinterest board for their _wedding_ , even if she’s not getting married...”

Juliet said nothing. Neither did he for a few moments. 

“So?” He grinned.

“You haven’t asked me a question yet Magnum,” she pointed out even as she couldn’t meet his eyes. “And where is our client? He’s late-“

“You _do_ have a wedding Pinterest board” he burst out. "I can see it on your face!"

“If you may recall I was actually getting married so it’s not so strange,” she pointed out, deciding there was no need to tell him she might have started it before she actually met Richard, with no particular groom in mind. Because Hannah didn’t get to be right like that.

“Can I see it?” he asked with such boyish enthusiasm she wasn’t sure what to respond with. It felt private but at the same time, she was marrying him. Even if it wasn’t real. 

“What’s the point? It’s not like it changes anything.” 

“Maybe not.” He shrugged. “But maybe we can do some of them.”

She hesitated. And then because she did trust him and he seemed so earnest, she unlocked her phone and navigated to the app and the board - well, actually boards - in question. Then she gave her phone to him and prayed she wouldn’t regret it. That he wouldn't spend the rest of eternity teasing her about it.

“This is very organized,” he said. “Dress, venue, shoes, something blue, food, wait - Destination Wedding Ideas?”

Actually feeling herself blush she reached for the phone. “Hey, give it!”

“You wanted to get married in Hawaii?” he asked as he held the phone out of reach.

“No,” she protested then amended, “I just might have considered having a beach wedding.”

“We could do that,” he said cheerfully and let her have the phone back. “And those purple napkin things I’m sure we could fold some of those! And the lanterns-”

“We can’t do a beach wedding because we’re not going to be able to find an officiate to do one in two days,“ she said, locking the phone. “Would you call whoever we’re meeting? We’ve been here for more than twenty minutes.”

“Actually,” he winced. “There is no client.”

She frowned. “Then why are we here?”

“You were upset. I thought coming here might help you relax,” he said, “And it did!”

“You lied about us meeting a client here?” she asked, not sure why this was a big deal. Only that it was. Because it was different. Everything was suddenly different. Wanting to share private things she had no business sharing with him. Him taking her somewhere to make her feel better just because. Him wanting to make their fake wedding nicer, more like the one she might have dreamt about for five seconds three years ago. All of it. It was all changing and she felt terrified enough about what the future held, what spending time with Sean again would mean, trying to catch Ivan, all of it.

“Yes,” he agreed.

She got up.“I’m leaving.”

“Come on Higgy! I’m sorry,” he called after her and when she refused to stop added, “And I’m your ride!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, what you think? Is it OoC for Hannah and Higgins to have wedding Pinterest boards? I feel even kick-ass spy girls plan their weddings through Pinterest.


	18. It’s So Easy (Coming To The Wrong Conclusion)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnum is confused. Shammy has a Miggy theory. Rick concludes he’s going to be a godfather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m not sure what the last chapter was. I clearly had a fever writing it because re-reading it there is a whole chunky I thought I wrote I must have either not written or just took out and failed to replace with something. I put a paragraph in to fix it a little bit at the end (more of a reason to why Juliet is upset) but...let’s just say once it’s time for a rewrite, Chapter 17 is gonna be the first to get a major overhaul.

###  **It’s So Easy (Coming To The Wrong Conclusions)**

“Trouble in Paradise?” Rick asked with a raised eyebrow as Magnum sat down at the bar.

“Just give me a beer Rick.” 

As Magnum looked like a mix between a ten-year-old who'd been told he was up past in bedtime and a man whose boat had just sunk, Rick decided supplying his friend with a cold one or two without commenting on the number of unpaid beers already on his tab, was the right thing to do.

“Because you left me no time to throw a proper bachelor party, you drink for free tonight my man,” he said, uncapping two beers, handing Magnum one and taking one for himself. “Tell me again why you’re in such a rush to actually tie the knot?”

“We just are,” Magnum said sulkily, sipping his beer.

“Okay, leaving that one alone,” Rick decided since the topic didn’t seem to make his friend want to share anything about his current mood. “What’s wrong then? Come on man, talk to me.”

“Women are confusing.”

“Amen to that man,” Rick said and clinked their bottles together. 

“I don’t get what I did wrong. I teased her a little, but I do that all the time,“ Magnum explained. 

“You do.”

“I guess maybe it was the whole not quite telling her the truth.” He twisted his beer bottle a little. “But it wasn’t like it was big deal.”

“Every lie is a big deal when you’re getting married,” Rick said with a shrug. “Or so I’ve heard. Girls go all super possessive.”

“That’s not Higgy. At least...”

“Did you say sorry?”

“I did.” He winced. “I might have yelled it after her. But we already had this talk about how saying sorry without knowing why I’m sorry doesn't count.” A light seemed to click on. ”And in return we said she can’t just keep everything she’s feeling bottled up inside.”

Rick felt his forehead wrinkle. Even though he hadn’t exactly been doubting Magnum and Higgins were actually together and getting married, a small part of him had kind of suspected it was some sort of huge elaborate hoax. Only how Magnum would have gotten Higgins to go along with it -and why - had escaped him. 

Hearing Magnum talk about actually having talked to Higgins about her feelings put any and all such fears to rest. 

Because -in Rick’s opinion - you didn’t talk to beautiful women about their feelings in any context unless you were at least ¾ the way in love with them.

Before Rick could offer any more helpful insight, sure to save his friend years of heartache and trouble Magnum smiled and got up.

“Thanks, man,” he said, leaving his half-drunk beer at the bar in his hurry to get out of there.

“What was that?” Shammy asked, rolling over. “Magnum was here wasn’t he? I didn't hallucinate him did I?”

“You did not,” Rick agreed, a little perplexed. 

“So what? Juliet call for ice cream? Or pickles?”

“What?” Rick said, finally focusing fully on Shammy. “Wait, you think- no way!”

“Why else would they be getting married at top speed?” Shammy said with a shrug.

Rick shook his head. “It’s not the 1950s.”

“But she’s posh and British maybe that makes a difference?” Shammy said.

“Have you met Juliet Higgins? No way. If anyone would insist on it, it’d be Thomas,” Rick said, suddenly feeling like this whole thing was maybe making a bit more sense. Then he grinned because he really liked the idea of being a godfather. “I gotta call TC.”

“You might want to hold that thought,” Shammy said, nodding towards the entrance. “Your fish and chips girl is here.”

“What?” Rick said, glancing up. And just as Shammy had said - there she was! Sophie Taylor! His raven-haired beauty, lover of his fish and chips and avid drinker of La Marianna’s special Mai tai. “Pinch me Shammy. Pinch me hard.”

Shammy did, but due to the overwhelming power of true love, Rick didn’t feel a thing!


	19. How To Argue Like An Old Married Couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnum and Higgins finish their argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to figure out the slight mess I left myself with back in chapter 17. I really love some parts of this chapter and some are just still not really doing it for me. Like I couldn't quite get the ending to sound right so I just ended it. Moving forward rather than getting stuck re-writing the same stupid ending 100 times!

###  How To Argue Like An Old Married Couple

The guest house smelled like food when he got back. Homecooked actual food rather than the take out he was used to. Since he'd half expected her not to even be there, that she'd have gone back to the main house, the fact that she'd cooked dinner was a huge bonus. It was also...nice. No one but him and a few times Rick and TC had ever cooked in there. She'd served herself and him beers and snacks plenty of times, but thinking of her cooking there was different somehow.

"There is food," she said, not looking up from her computer. She was on the sofa, legs tucked under herself, tapping away at the keyboard of the laptop. "Coconut lime chicken."

"No vegan bacon?" he experimentally joked as he went to serve himself. He was both pleased and annoyed to decide that based on the looks and smells, cooking was yet another one of those things Juliet had apparently did at an expert level.

As he went to sit next to her on the sofa, with his plate he noticed she'd showered and changed. Probably gone for a swim. Sometimes, he irrationally would feel the need to watch her when she was swimming, as if she might sink beneath the waves and drown again - as she almost had that fateful day after the boat jacking - if he didn't. He wondered what his life would have been like if she had actually died that day. If he hadn't been able to bring her back. He hated when he went down this way because nothing good ever came from the scenarios his brain conjured. 

“This is good,” he said after he took a bite, thankful for the distraction.

“Do try not to sound so surprised,” she said dryly but he could hear in her voice that the praise had pleased her. “I guess I should have waited for you before I ate? I’m not very good at this cohabitation thing.”

“You’re fine,” he assured her because being honest, he was quite sure she had more experience with it than him. He’d been in the military for most of his life, having short flings on leave, rarely lasting more than a month or two... and then there had been Hannah, but they hadn’t really lived together unless you counted ‘sleepovers’ in bareboned army tents as living together. 

She  _ mmm-ed _ an agreement and focused fully back on her computer. He ate and looked at her, trying to think if he’d heard her  _ mmmm  _ before. Probably he had. It just seemed weirdly intimate. Not sexually intimate, more like home-y, private, just us, intimate. It was the speaking version of her making food in his kitchen.

It was enough to make him forget the fact that last time he’d seen her she’d been giving him the cold shoulder for no other reason than him trying to be nice to her.

Well, he had almost forgotten it until he so rudely reminded himself. Now he had to know. With her intently tapping away at the keyboard there wasn’t really an organic start for conversation so he decided to just take the bull by the horns.

“Higgy?” he prodded after he finished his food. ”Are you working really hard or are you still upset?”

“Neither,” she pushed the lid of her computer down. 

“You sure?” He asked.

“I’m not upset.” She didn’t seem upset, a little tense, maybe. But she had been upset earlier. She definitely had been.“I was. But I’m not anymore.”

“Yeah? So we’re good.”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay,” he said deciding if she said she was fine, she was. Because they’d talked about her not hiding her feelings and she was working hard on communicating better. “Good. And I’m sorry.”

“For what Magnum?” she asked sharply.

“For whatever I did?”

“But I just said, I’m fine so there is nothing to be sorry for,” she insisted and pushed the computer to the side so she could stand up. “Okay? You don’t have to say sorry for something you didn’t do-”

“Fine. Whatever. Then I guess I’m not,” he corrected but feeling suddenly mistaken. Because this was not  _ ‘actually-fine-Higgins _ ’ behavior. This was ‘ _ claiming-to-be-fine-but-maybe-plotting-your-untimely-death-Higgins _ ’ behavior. “For whatever I didn’t or did do, I’m not sorry.” 

“Good.“

“Great,” he said and then found himself smiling despite his annoyance.

“What’s so amusing?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“We’re gonna be really good at this,” he began, cheerfulness taking over despite the situation. 

“At what?” 

“Um.” He wasn't sure how to put  _ The way we argue, I don’t think we’ll have any trouble convincing anyone we’re married  _ into a sentence that didn’t sound too cheesy or stupid. “Being married.”

“ _ Fake _ married Magnum,” she said and just like that she made his good mood go away. Why did she have to point out the  _ fake _ bit. It wasn’t like he wasn’t aware it was fake. It just didn’t feel like it was something that had to be brought up  _ all the time. _

“Don’t remind me, I just lied to Rick about it again tonight,” Magnum said with a sigh.

“So lying to  _ Rick _ bothers you?”

He gave her a look. She glared right back at him, angry and beautiful at once. Like some kind of glowering fairy. 

He suspected that was probably the wrong thing to be thinking of at that moment. But because Magnum also felt anyone and everyone who had the (mis)fortune of having Higgins be angry at them would be forced to admit that she was as beautiful angry as when, well, not angry. This led him to decide that thinking she was hot when she was mad at him, wasn’t that odd.

“I thought you were fine with it,” he said and stood too so they were eye to eye, toe to toe.

“I am.” She took a deep breath. “I’m fin-”

“Now  _ you’re _ gonna lie to me instead?”

“I guess it’s a day of firsts all around,” she snapped. 

“Please, you lied to me for months about not being MI6,” he started and then he couldn’t stop. “About your past. About possibly going back to MI6, about your arm being hurt, you’re a spy! I bet you lie to me every day.” 

For a second something flashed in her eyes, some emotion too big to be just one thing. It was gone as quickly and yet Magnum suddenly wanted nothing more than to turn the clock back five seconds so he could change what he’d just said. 

“I  _ was _ a spy,” she said stiffly. “I’m not anymore. And even if I lied or hid things from you- you never lied to me before. Not like this. Not just because you _could_.” 

“It wasn’t really a lie,” he said softer, wanting to say sorry again but not sure that was what she wanted to hear even though she was upset. “It was a little fib. So you would take a minute to talk to me.”

“I know,” she said, quietly, not meeting his eyes. 

“Then why did it upset you so much?” he asked, the wondered if he already had the answer.  _ Because he never had before.  _

She wasn’t upset because he’d lied. She was upset because he never had before. It was something new, something she probably - and correctly - connected to all the other changes of the past week. 

“Higgy because I lied to you once doesn't mean I’m going to change and do it all the time. The thing with Sean, we’ll deal with and then it will just be another story. I mean, things will change, because things are always changing…but the important things won’t change.”

“You can’t promise me that,” she said. “We’re already changing. Today was proof of that.”

Magnum felt a thrill at the fact that out of the ‘important things’ he, them, were clearly at the top of her list.

He waited for her to go on but when she didn’t, wouldn’t even meet his eyes, he decided to try to convince her maybe change wasn’t bad.

“Remember how you used to love to torment me when I first got here?” he said, deciding on a different tactic. Because it didn’t matter if things had changed in the last few days. Because things were always changing. Even if she liked to pretend they weren’t. “Had your hounds of hell chase me all over? Towed my car? Charged me to use your laptop?” 

She smiled a small smile but still wasn’t looking up at him. 

“But now we’re partners and you don’t do that anymore. You help me, not because I’m dragging you into it- yes, yes I know, you never let me drag you into anything you didn’t want to be a part of - but now you do it because you chose to. Because you’re different from two years ago.”

“What does this have to do with anything?” she asked.

“Just, everything changes all the time right? So maybe I told a white lie today I wouldn’t have a month ago to make you feel better. Maybe not. It doesn't have to mean anything.” 

_ Or maybe it means everything. _

She hesitated, then nodded and said, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, about the ‘lying bit’ I’m not sure Higgins actually lies to Magnum in-show too much, she just avoids really well. I feel Magnum might count this as ‘lying’ and Higgins is just kinda accepting it in this story because she’s having some spy angst about all the stuff she hasn’t told Magnum.
> 
> Also if someone felt any inclination to draw Higgins as a glowering fairy, you'd be my new hero!


	20. Sleepless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also did anyone else realize that this story is actually named the same thing as the one episode of the Musketeers TV show Perdita Weeks is in? Where she happens to play a princess/assassin named Sophia? I didn’t realize at the time but that’s kinda a hilarious coincidence on several levels! I am a little bit considering changing the title now, we’ll see...open to new title suggestion though! 

### Sleepless

Juliet Higgins was not used to feeling out of control. In fact, a lot of the choices she’d made, at least in the past decade or so had been choices she’d made to make sure she wouldn’t be. Even becoming a spy was one of those choices, because even with the uncertainty of a lot of situations, the training around it made her feel she could handle any situation.

And she had. She’d stolen government secrets, turned assets, spent time in the middle east during the Arab spring, stopped a bombing (and an assassin) in Kiev and a dozen more things in just her first few years with MI6. Even training as a FSB agent in Russia she’d survived and come out stronger. More sure she could handle it all. That she was in control.

It seemed rather stupid to be feeling...well so many conflicting things over her current situation. Or maybe situation _s_ was more correct. Her marrying Magnum. Sean showing up. Sean most likely working for Ivan. Her and Magnum going to Brussels to stop him, while pretending to everyone that they were really married and loved each other. 

None of these were, at least currently life-threatening, painful or even difficult. Yet somehow her nervous system seemed to be telling her they were. 

Not even the exhausting workout she’d put herself through before making dinner had been able to turn her fight or flight response fully off. Not her talk with Magnum, which had helped a little but not much. Not a hot shower. Or a cold one.

So now it was four am and she was wide away, listening to the sound of waves, Magnum’s breathing and the dripping of a tap she hadn’t been able to find to turn off. Maybe it was her own mind making the sound, trying to make her go mad.

It wasn’t the lie. 

Really. It wasn’t.

Well, not the lie because it was a lie. 

It was what the lie meant that was bothering her, had been all day.

He’d said, maybe it didn’t have to mean _anything_.

She’d agreed. But she knew it had. She’d known as soon as he’d confirmed he’d lied to take her to the beach to make her feel better.

Because that did mean something.

She couldn’t decide exactly what but it was enough to tell her something had changed. Or perhaps it was the look in his eye as he’d said maybe it didn’t mean anything earlier. 

“Okay, what is it?” Magnum asked, scaring the bejesus out of her because she’d been so sure he was asleep. “You’ve been tossing and turning all night. Do you need me to hit you with a pillow?”

“If you hit me with a pillow you will never see the light of day ever again,” she warned him and he chuckled.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked, turning on his side.

“I don’t know. Not everyone’s like you, able to fall asleep anywhere.”

“Are you worried about the wedding or Brussels,” he asked, taking his best guess, she supposed.

“The wedding will be fine.”

“So Brussels. Did you get in contact with Sean?” 

She nodded. “I got us tickets for Sunday morning. Direct to London, where we transfer to Belgium. I got an old safe house we can use until we link up with Sean.”

“Sounds like you got it all planned out,” he yawned. “Have you tried counting sheep?”

“I’m not a toddler Magnum,” she said and slid her legs out of the bed. 

“You’re leaving?”

“No point in us both being awake.”

“I don’t mind,” he said, rubbing his eyes. 

Looking over at him, she was struck with a strange urge to kiss him. Had to be her tired brain and the fact that he looked adorable with his hair sticking up one way and his eyes all unfocused and soft.

“Enjoy a few hours more sleep Magnum,” she said softly as she left the bed. “I’m going for a run.”

“It’s pitch dark,” he said and sat up. “Besides, I don’t think what you need is a run.”

“No?”

He shook his head. “No. You need to hit something. Or someone.”

She raised an eyebrow at this. “You suggesting we spar? At four in the morning?”

“Why not?”

_Yeah. Why not?_

“Fair warning," she said. "I will kick your ass.”

He pushed himself off the bed. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I cut quite a bit of this scene because I kinda changed my mind about going all dark and angsty and am going for more drama with some fun and fluff for the remaining Hawaii chapters so this got really short (first version Higgins has much more of a freakout and she ain't just leaving the bed, she's leaving the hemisphere and immediately kinda runs into Sean which leads to not such good things. But we're not doing that so, yeah. Shorter.)


	21. This Could Be So Much More Enjoyable (If We Were Both Naked)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparing and discussions about destiny and scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Russia! I'm kind of throwing you under the bus, starting in this chapter.

### This Could Be So Much More Enjoyable (If We Were Both Naked) 

“Yield?” she said after she’d slammed him into the mat, pinning his arm.

“You wish,” he said, not about to give up, twisting out of her grip by half flipping them. She let go, rolled away from him. He wasn’t sure what to think about that.

He had a gnawing suspicion she was going easy on him because she kept letting go. Kept letting him, well not win, but she wasn’t crushing him as badly as he’d feared. If she’d been a cat, he’d say she was playing with him, but she wasn’t a cat. As it stood, he wasn’t sure what she was doing.

She did one of those fancy- flipping herself up off the mat without using her hands - moves. 

“Show off.” 

She only raised an eyebrow and then offered him a hand up. Because even though he wasn’t losing she was clearly doing better than him. Magnum didn’t mind though. Getting the wind knocked out of him was weirdly worth it when it meant she would press against him for several seconds at the time.

“Will you teach me the thing you did there? To my leg?” he said, rubbing his outer thigh.

She gave him an evaluating look. “You won’t be able to use it on me. I’m too fast.”

“Are you calling me slow?”

“If the shoe fits,” she said. 

But she then proceeded to teach him the move, landing him back on his butt more than once. She did let him practice on her when she stood still, which meant she ended up on the mat with him on top of her.

Definitely worth it. Especially when she wrapped her legs around him and rotated them so she was somehow on top, holding his wrists.

He noticed something about her eyes he’d never noticed before. There were little flecks of gold and green in them. So imperceptible too really notice unless you were face to face, inches away from one another. 

He wondered what other things he might discover, given the chances for a closer look of...well really any and all parts of her. Like the little patch of freckles, he’d noticed on her shoulder earlier. The scar he knew she had on her back but he’d never had the time to study. Where that tattoo she’d claimed to have might really be! Oh he’d had some dreams about searching for that tattoo...

“You gotta follow-through, you can’t get distracted and let go,” she instructed even though Magnum wasn’t actually hearing her.

“Mmmm,” he agreed.

“Getting distracted can get you killed.” 

Yup, and if she knew the thoughts suddenly flashing his head, he’d also be at risk of being killed.

She let go of him and slid off him but didn’t get up, rather she crossed her leg Indian style leaning back on her hands, studying his face. 

He worried she might be reading his mind and quickly busied himself with trying to remember how many clean shirts he had left, rather than how good she’d felt on top of him...and how much more fun this whole sparring session would be if they were both naked. 

“Do you believe in destiny Magnum?” she asked, her thoughts apparently having gone a very different route. Or maybe not so different, depending on how you looked at it. “I know you believe in lucky hats and bad omens.”

“I don’t know,” he said, thinking about it. When he’d been younger he had believed in a lot of things. He wasn’t sure what he believed in now. Nuzo dying after six months in Hawaii after surviving six tours and eighteen months in a POW camp had made him question a lot of things. “Maybe I believe in it sometimes. Like every other day.”

“You can’t believe in something only half the time,” she argued. “Belief is inherently something that you either do or don’t. You can’t believe partly because by definition then you don’t believe.”

“Well, clearly I can,” he said.

“Once more you remind me how your brain works utterly differently from the rest of the world.”

“Or just your brain,” he pointed out. “A lot of people struggle with what they believe in whether it be God or fate or even aliens, doesn’t change the fact that they believe.”

“Aliens Magnum? Really?” she said but then, clearly not wanting to go further down the rabbit hole of beliefs and destiny.

“What about you?” he asked, not about to drop it so easily. “I do you believe in it? Destiny?” He was sure she’d say no, and was surprised when she didn’t straight away.

“Not destiny. More like purpose.” She looked at her leggings glad knee, no longer meeting his eyes. “I used to believe I had it… or something. Like I was meant to do it.”

“Like a calling?”

She nodded. “Maybe. I was really good at being a spy. All the parts. The different languages, hacking, lying, hand to hand combat. Even being alone.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. Because he knew she didn’t want to be a spy anymore. But maybe she missed it more than he realized. Magnum knew all about missing something you didn’t actually want to go back to because that was his exact feelings on the Navy.

“But maybe it was just because that was what I learned to be good at. Maybe I could have been good at something else. Maybe I missed my real… Sometimes I just think, what if I hadn’t met Sean. Taken another class, another semester.” She shook her head. “But then I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t be...wouldn’t have...”

She wouldn’t have what? Come to Hawaii? He desperately wanted her to finish but she didn't.

Instead, she pointed towards his lower abdomen, where his t-shirt had ridden up to reveal the scar on the side of his stomach. “This scar, I’ve never asked, where did you get it? Afghanistan?”

“Yeah.”

“It looks bad. Infection?” She hovered her finger inches over the scar, studying it before meeting his eyes again.

“Cauterized.”

“Not pleasant,” she said.

“It was that or bleeding out on the dirt,” he said even though her statement _not pleasant_ was the understatement of the year. Or maybe decade. 

“Yes,” she said and nodded. He wasn’t sure what she was agreeing to exactly and he didn’t ask because she yawned right then. He wondered if she’d ever gone to sleep. 

He’d woken up what felt like ten times because she wasn’t sleeping. He wasn’t sure how he’d known because she hadn’t been making noises or moving. Maybe he was just so attuned to her that even in sleep he could sense when she was stressed and unhappy. Weirdly he liked that idea.

“The scar on your back,” he said, because he’d shared. Maybe she would too. “The wonky cross one.” 

She looked surprised. “It’s old.”

“I'd figured.” And to make her feel better because he didn’t want her to think it was something most people would notice and wonder about, added, “It’s almost invisible.” 

“Good,” she said before getting up off the floor quickly. “Let’s go again.”

“Nuhuh,” he said. “I told you about mine, you tell me about yours.”

She narrowed her eyes. “How about if you win this time, I’ll tell you?”

“Or you can just tell me,” he said but did get up and got ready to spar with her again.

“FSB training. His name was Dimitri,” she said as they circled. “He didn’t like me.”

“Imagine that!” he joked and then had to duck because her leg came flying at him.

“He didn’t like anyone,” she said. “He was the kind that kept kicking even when his opponent was down.”

“That can be useful,” Magnum pointed out.

“Not when you’re the one getting kicked,” she said before smugly wiping his feet out from under him. “Broke my ribs bad enough one punctured my lung.”

“ _Not pleasant_ ,” he echoed her earlier statement while trying not to imagine - and failing - adorable twenty-something Higgins from that video Sean had left them, coughing on her own blood as her lungs filled up. The image was horrifying because there were so many things his imagination had to fill in and it used only the worst deaths and injuries he'd witnessed.

“The scar is from the operation,” she said, holding out her hand for him to get up. “Worst surgeon I ever had and it got infected.”

“At least you had a doctor,” he said, taking her hand but rather than getting up, used it to tug her off balance.

She landed almost on top of him. Which had both been the plan and not.

“You know what they do when you have a fever in Russia?” she asked as she grabbed his wrists as if to pin them. “Throw you into a snowdrift. When it’s forty below even a minute feels like you've died and gone to hell.” 

“You really didn’t enjoy your time in Russia,” he said with genuine horror. Because if there was one thing Magnum really didn’t like, it was snow and cold. He’d rather live in a desert and eat goat for the rest of his life.

“Magnum, no one enjoys Russia,“ she deadpanned, once again close enough to him that he could see those little flecks in her eyes he’d never noticed before.

She said something else but all Magnum could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Magnum ever told Higgy about his scar right? I mean I feel like I'd totally remember that...


	22. Technicalities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally...

###  **Technicalities**

The thing about being tired is you don’t realize how much it clouds your judgment.

Not until later. Sometimes much later. Sometimes almost too quickly...

* * *

Sometimes when Magnum looked at her, it took her breath away. 

She wasn’t sure why. 

Or maybe she was, but didn’t want to think too much about it. Thinking about it would make it real. Make her have to face it.

Still, as she straddled him, pinning down his arms she suddenly realized he was looking at her that way again. And it changed everything about the situation. It was no longer sparing and the place where her hands touched his skin was suddenly burning.

Eyes still locked, she let go. Probably she should get off him. Excuse herself, leave. Not go down a road that would be horribly troublesome to backtrack on.

She put one of her hands on his chest, over his heart, other on his shoulder. Because she didn’t want to stop. She wanted to see just what that look meant. Even though maybe it was a bad idea, it also kind of seemed like a good one. She wasn’t exactly sure about the logic right then. Probably logic was taking a holiday.

“Higgy?” He sounded as dazed as she felt.

She felt his heart race under her palm as she leaned forward. It was delightfully terrifying, especially as one of his hands came up to cup her cheek.

Before their lips touched she closed her eyes even though that look was like a drug, she just wanted to keep feeling the desire in them. But just the feel of his lips, his hand in her hair, was almost too much. 

She clung to him, a sense of urgency coursing through her. She wanted it to keep going forever.

Alarm bells were going off, mixing with the pleasure, excitement, the newness.

She, Juliet Higgins, was kissing Thomas Magnum and she was liking it way too much. 

Pulling back and breaking the kiss she stared at him for several long moments, drawing in short breaths because for some reason long ones were beyond her and she felt almost dizzy.

“Right,” she said, not believing she’d actually kissed Magnum. And knowing with complete certainty she couldn’t let herself do it again. “Right.”

She let go of him as if he was on fire and rolled off him, getting to her feet, not meeting his eyes.

“Juliet?”

“Right,” she repeated as she took another step away. 

“Would you say something other than _right_?” he said, sounding both hurt and amused.

“I...” She tried to think of what they’d been talking about before. But drew a blank. She tried to think of some other topic but nothing seemed appropriate. “I need to um...”

Rather than finish or even attempt to, she turned and made her escape.

She heard him call after her. 

But when she didn’t stop, he let her go. 

Because whatever else he might be, he was her friend, her partner, and he knew her. That was an equally calming and terrifying realization. Magnum knew her. Yet he’d kissed her.

_Technically_ , a little voice in the back of her head whispered, _you kissed him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tormented you all for a long time but here we finally are. Hope it lived up to at least some of your expectations...
> 
> I knew I had to have a first kiss before the actual wedding but I wasn't sure how. First I was going to have Magnum suggest a 'practice' kiss, but I feel having it both be spontaneous and Higgy actually being the one to initiate it was a good idea and will help Magnum be less hurt when she tries to 'take it back' (being Higgy that will probably be her go-to "solution") because she **did** in fact, kiss him.


	23. Making (Evil) Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean

### Making (Evil) Plans

“What is it then?” Sean asked Lena because she wouldn’t stop glaring at him as he cleaned his gun.

“It’s nothing,” she said. 

“Come now,” he said, clicking the mag into place, lazily pointing it at her. “You know I don’t like pouting.”

She knew he wouldn’t shoot her. Not at this point of the operation. He had shot her once and had her take out the bullet and dress the wound herself. It was part of his standard training regimen and so delicious to watch. 

“Why would you have me spend a week hacking into a place and then spend five minutes there?” she asked, eyes narrowing. “Come back without her? I thought you were sure she’d come.”

“She will.” Sean had no doubt. She would come back to him. What was her option? Spend the rest of her life rotting away on some beach working as a glorified house sitter? A PI? She wasn’t cut out for that.

"What about Magnum? She's marrying him."

"Purely for practical reasons."

"In some of the pictures...they seem close," she noted. "And men don't just offer to marry women they don't like out of the goodness of their hearts you know?"

"She'd a huge asset for him. He must know that."

"So Magnum isn't going to be a problem?"

"Don't worry about him," Sean said.

"You going to kill him?"

"I'm not an assassin," he said but he had been considering it. But Richard's death had made him more important than he'd otherwise have been and he didn't want Magnum to be a repeat of that. So Magnum stayed alive. For now. Sean did feel it would be best if Magnum was removed, somewhere out of sight, so he could work in peace with Juliet. And he had a plan to make that happen.

"Whatever,” she said, turning back to her screen. "I don’t see why we need her so badly."

“We need her because it took us five days to hack into the security she set up for Robin Masters,” he pointed out.

Lena shook her head. “I still don’t understand why she’d write a security program that advanced for a private residence."

“Because she could,” he said and smiled, annoyed and pleased that she was still so good. Maybe better than him.

No.

No one was better than him. 

“It was like the freaking CIA,” she complained, "Actually it was harder." 

“I'd sure hope so. Anyone can hack into the CIA,” he said and tapped the gun on the table. “Now get back to work.” 

She did. For a bit. Then she couldn't help herself. A bad habit he was working on breaking her of but it reminded him of his younger self so much he hadn't quite managed it. “I think you just miss her.” 

“I do,” he said, not embarrassed to admit to it. “As much fun as you are, she’s...”

“What?” she said and he could practically hear her roll her eyes. “Special? You’re worse than an old lady and her Harlequin romance novels.”

He wished at that moment he didn’t need her, but she was clever and had so much potential. Not quite Juliet-potential, but close. So he couldn’t put a bullet in her. Not today. But once he was done with her, once he had Juliet back, he would. 

Because what was the point of keeping the copy around when you had the original?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little look into Sean's mind.


	24.  Amature Hour

###  **Amature Hour**

Magnum wasn’t good at pretending. Or avoiding. But he was trying, because he worried a direct confrontation would turn her back to _right_ /runaway mode.

So as they drove back from a client’s house after having delivered some both good and bad news - Good; the dog wasn’t at the pound or dead but alive and well. Bad: it had been adopted by another family - he was fine with letting her talk about the case rather than the fact that she’d kissed him.

“I imagine the Harold’s family’s prior ownership takes precedence,” she said thoughtfully, glancing to the side. “But the dog was officially adopted, so I’m not sure.”

“I’m just glad we found Spot,” he said. “Those kids were really worried about their dog.”

“Yes,” she agreed, looking over at him. He hoped she might add something more or change the topic towards them but when she didn’t he decided not to either.

“It’s not so bad being the Island's nr. one pet detective, is it?” he said just as she frowned at something.

“Turn right here Magnum,” she ordered.

“That’s the wrong way,” he said but she gave him a look so he did it. She stopped his hand when he reached to signal the change from left to a right turn.

“Don’t.” She looked over her shoulder. “See the black sedan with the tinted windows.”

“I see it,” he said and realized it had been following them for a few blocks. A coincidence he’d figured. She didn’t seem to think so. “You think it's tailing us?”

“Just assume it is,” she said as he took the turn without signaling and sped up.

The sedan, which had been signaling to turn right just like them, followed.

“Why? Who?”

“I don’t know but either lose them or find somewhere to pull over and we’ll see if they want to talk or not,” she said, looking behind them again.

While part of him was tempted to just lose whoever it was, less chance of a confrontation and him getting a panda eye just in time for the wedding, his need for answers surpassed his vanity.

“Parking garage,” she said, nodding to one coming up on their left. Then she yawned.

“You sure you’re up to this?” he asked, suddenly worried. Even though she’d kicked his ass this morning, she hadn’t slept all night. That was enough to make anyone lose their edge.

“I’m fine,” she said firmly as they pulled into the parking garage. “Let’s see what these blokes want.”

* * *

There were four of them. About right since five would have been too cramped in the sedan. Two were big, one was tall and skinny. One was just about average.

They were all armed; two with guns, two with bats. They'd clearly been sent to do some serious damage.

Magnum had parked, got his gun and moved away from the Ferrari a little. No need to risk it getting damaged if there was a...scuffle. But he’d stayed visible. 

Juliet had not. 

She’d disappeared, hiding behind a pillar to his right last he’d seen her. He hadn’t asked about it because there hadn’t been enough time. The sedan had been right behind them. But tactically it made sense for her to stay hidden as she didn’t have a weapon and thus the element of surprise would be more useful for her.

The quad moved towards him, weapons ready but vary. Because they saw he was armed they weren’t sure how to proceed. Possibly having not having expected him to have a gun. But because there were four of them they also felt a certain safety in numbers. 

“That’s far enough,” Magnum said when they were a dozen feet away, clicking the safety off his gun.

“I say when it’s far enough,” the biggest one -and possibly the boss - said. “Where is the woman?”

“No women here, only us, speaking of, what’s your name? I’m Thomas Magnum but I get the feeling you already knew that,” he said because no way was this random. These men had been sent after him. 

“Where is she?”

Or maybe not him.

The guy raised his gun at the same time the average guy - who also had a gun - and the one closest to the pillar Juliet was behind, fell, legs swept out from under him.

She had the downed guy’s gun pointed at the guys with bats a second later. 

“I’m right here,” she said.

The boss guy ducked behind a car, swung his gun at her immediately fired. She saw the move coming even as Magnum hadn’t and had time to quickly take cover back behind the pillar she’d been behind, returning fire.

With bullets flying and his heart hammering, because the target here was clearly Juliet, he ducked behind the closest pillar, three pillars away from her.

The guy stopped firing.

Magnum risked moving a pillar closer to her. “Why are they trying to kill you?”

“I don’t know,” she said back across the twenty feet that separated them. Then she crouched down and peeked out from behind her pillar and fired two shots.

She’d already fired a couple of rounds, but because he wasn’t sure what kind of gun she’d gotten from the guy he wasn’t sure how many bullets she had left. 

Then a shout and the fact that fire quickly stopped being returned meant she’d hit her target. 

He moved all the way over to the pillar next to her, peaking out. Trying to get a clear shot.

The group was throwing themselves back into their car.

He turned back to watch Higgins rather than the men, needing to make sure she was okay more than he needed to see the men leave. She was fine. She was taking aim at the car. 

He turned, stepped out from between the pillars and shot at the car too.

She pulled the trigger. Once. Then again. Nothing happened. She was out of bullets.

He got a shot off that hit and shattered the back window. But then, with the loud squeal of tires, the car was out of range.

She lowered her gun. 

He wanted to ask if she was okay, pull her close for a hug to make really sure, but he could see that she was fine, so he didn’t. 

“The brought bats so weren’t sent here to kill us,” she said.

“Did you miss the part where he shot at _you_? Not at me but you. I’d say whatever their plan was, it was you and not me they were after,” he said and felt the same icy fear he had when the boss guy had turned and fired at her.

“Perhaps,” she said. “They weren’t expecting us to be armed. Or trained. They were amateurs.”

“They wanted to kill you,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder, needing to feel that she was really there. Alive. “They asked for you.”

She swallowed and glanced at his arm. It was, he realized, the first time they’d touched for more than a second since the kiss. “Maybe they just wanted to make sure we were both here.”

"Maybe. We still make a good team," she said, almost as if she'd expected them to no longer be. Quickly she turned and she began walking back to the spot where the men had stood. She stopped by a splatter of blood. 

"We always did."

“Who would send such rank amateurs after us though?” she asked as she checked the ground and picked up a shell casing. 

Amateurs or not they could have killed her. They wanted to. But why her and not him? The boss had had a clear shot of him.

“Sean?” he asked.

She shook her head. “He wouldn’t be sloppy like that. And if he was going to send someone to kill one of us, it wouldn't be me. I don't think so at least.”

“Who else have we pissed off lately?”

“We haven’t pissed off Sean. I informed him that we're flying over on Sunday this morning. It’s not him.”

“Then who?” he asked. “MI6? The cheater we caught last week?”

“I don’t know this was just strange. It felt like they saw a good opportunity with the parking garage and acted on impulse. But as soon as the shooter got hurt, they left, like it was their first shoot out. Yet they clearly had some sort of instructions,” she said, looking around. “Did you get the license plate?”

“No.”

“Me neither.”

She pocketed one of the shell casing as sirens began to wail in the distance. 

“We should go,” he said since staying would mean spending hours being questioned and possibly a visit to the police station.


	25. Tiny Buttons, Truth and Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff, some serious stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for you chasethesun18. I know you're waiting for the canon hug but maybe this will tide you over until then!

###  **Tiny Buttons, Truth and Trust**

“I guess a test is the only thing that makes sense,” she said as they drove up to the gate of Robin’s Nest. “Maybe Sean was worried I was rusty.”

“So he sends people to kill you?” Magnum asked, surprised, even though Sean was in league with Ivan, his _affection_ for Juliet had seemed genuine enough. 

“It’s possible,” she said as he drove through the gate. “Sean likes trial by fire.”

“Does that mean we’re fine? Or are people going to be shooting at you from now on?” he asked, a little annoyed by how chill she was being about this whole thing.

“I’m as in the dark as you,” she said and she did sound more concerned. “But hopefully that was the end of it. We have the wedding tomorrow and then we’re flying out on Sunday morning.”

“So we’re basically just hoping that they’ll forget all about us when we leave the country?“ he asked, finding this plan to be less than perfect.

“Maybe call Katsumoto and see if he’ll help? We probably should before someone realizes we were there.”

“I’ll text him. Maybe we can do something with that shell casing you found,” he suggested. 

“Doubtful. I thought maybe I’d take it to Noelani tomorrow before...”

“The wedding?” He grinned, amused she was still having trouble saying the words.

“Yes,” she said as he parked in front of the house. “That actually reminds me.”

“Reminds you of what?” 

“Nothing important.” She opened her car door. “See you for dinner?”

“Wait? You’re not coming down to the guest house?” he asked, trying not to sound overly disappointed as he too got out of the car.

“I’m going to see if I have something in my closet that might pass for a, uhm, _wedding_ _dress_ ,” she said, beginning to walk off. 

He closed his door and hurried after her. “Want some help?”

She gave him a slightly puzzled look but didn’t seem to be against the plan even though she said, “That’s not really the normal way to do it.” 

“Is anything about us or this wedding normal?” he asked.

“I guess not,” she said and they shared a smile. He felt a jolt of pleasure at the easy banter, the smile, at being back in sync with her. It was almost as good as kissing her. 

Almost.

  
  


“Magnum?” she said as she flipped through her closet while he sat on her bed. It felt somehow almost more intimate than having her sleep in his bed, because this was a room he’d never been in or ever imagined visiting much before the last few days.

“Yes?”

“Have you been to England?” she asked thoughtfully as if she’d only just realized he might not have been. 

“No,” he said as she turned around. “Does that matter?”

“Not really.” She smiled before turning back to the closet. “Maybe once this thing Sean and Ivan is over, we could spend a few days in London.”

“An actual honeymoon?” he asked, joking, but then added, “It’s a deal.” Before she could take it back.

“It won’t be a honeymoon because we’re not actually getting married,” she protested as she held a dress out and then promptly put it back again.

“Hate to break it to you but _we are_ ,” he said.

“You know what I mean. It’s not real. It’s just...”

“I know,” he said even though he didn’t like it. 

“What about this one,” she said, turning and holding up a long light blue dress he’d never seen her in. The neckline was one of those high ones and it looked kind of weird on the hanger.

He shrugged, not sure what opinion to offer other than. “Looks fine.”

She rolled her eyes and disappeared into the bathroom, not closing the door all the way so they could still talk. He managed to fight the desire to peek in through the crack.

“The weather will be terrible,” she warned, then added in her sarcastic voice. “And other than the petting zoo I’m not sure there are any activities you’d enjoy because London is mostly old buildings and museums.”

Magnum could think of some activities he might _enjoy_ on his honeymoon (that wasn’t a real-honeymoon - even though it kind of was.)

“Maybe you can show me your old haunts and hangouts,” he suggested because that would actually be something he would like.

“Maybe,” she said as she slid the door open, dress on. It was nice. Maybe not fluffy wedding dress nice, but nice. Then again he was pretty sure she could make an old potato sack look good. “Will you help me with the buttons?”

She came over to him and turned around. The dress was unbuttoned in the back, more than a dozen tiny buttons running up the dress, leaving her back exposed from the waist up.

Swallowing he said nothing as he got to work. He stopped after a few buttons, as he got to the pale star-shaped scar. Dimitri. He imagined there was a lot of Dimitris in Russia. Still, he was struck with a sudden desire to go there, somehow find the right Dimitri and give him a few good kicks.

He touched the scar, not having planned or meant to, and she drew in a breath.

She turned around, still close enough for him to feel the heat of her body, breath. Mere inches apart. He’d somehow managed to keep his hand on the scar, on her bareback, as she turned.

Her hand came up to his shoulder and he thought she might push him away but she just rested it there, looking up at him. That morning she'd kissed him, taking him by surprise. But as he leaned down and she up there was no surprise. No hesitation and despite how she'd acted last time, no worry.

Pulling her close he stumbled backward, running his hands over her naked back, breathing her in, enjoying the rushing in his ear and the way her hands felt in his hair. Finally reaching the bed he all but fell back, taking her with him. She felt light as feather top of him and her hair tickled him like one too as she looked down at him, dark eyes intent. He reached up and brushed some of her curls back and pulled her in for another kiss.

They rolled and he ran one hand up the outside of her thigh, pushing the dress upwards, marveling at how smooth and soft her skin was. Kissing down her neck, reveling in the small sounds of pleasure she made, he wondered how and they'd ever waited so long to do this. 

Somewhere in the distance, a car honked. One of the gardeners, maybe Kumu, leaving or arriving. Whatever it was, it was enough to break whatever spell she'd let herself fall under and she tensed and then quickly slid away from him. He let her even though all he wanted was to press his forehead to hers and tell her to forget it, to stop thinking and just feel for a bit longer.

“What are we doing?” she said stumbling off the bed. “We can’t do this.”

He followed, grabbed her arm gently to stop her, keep her close. He'd let her go this morning but he wasn't going to this time. Not without having figured a few things out. “Why not?”

“Why not?” she echoed but didn’t seem to have a good comeback. But at least she was using more than just one word.

“We’re friends, we’re partners and we’re clearly attracted to one another,” he said, deciding it was best to start with less pressure than _I might be in love with you. Let's give this a real shot._

She shook her head.

“We trust each other-”

“Maybe you shouldn’t trust me,” she snapped, pulling her arm free and turning away and walking over to the window. "Not with this."

“What?” he asked, even though he, of course, _did_ trust her and she knew that. “Why?”

She shook her head, looking out, lost for words for a long time. He was torn between wanting to push for information and letting her share on her own.

“You know how I said it was five years since I last saw Sean,” she said, pressing her hand against the window. “It was a lie.”

He said nothing even though he’d known it was. Sensed it as she told him the other day.

“It was three years ago.” Her shoulders were tense and while he wanted to put his hands on them, he didn’t think that was the right move. “I was engaged to Richard.” 

“Okay,” he said when she said nothing for a long time.

“I was back in London. I’d been... I was on medical leave. Richard was off on a mission, I’d been sidelined for a month. Sean shows up, a bottle of wine. We, I, he...”

She didn’t finish. Maybe _couldn’t_ was the more accurate word.

“You were together?” he deduced. 

She’d cheated on Richard. 

He couldn’t believe it.

It didn’t make sense. It seemed to him, totally against her moral code. 

But then again, it was easy to be seduced by the idea, the familiarity of an old love. He’d helped Hannah even after everything. Had defended her. And as much as he’d wanted it to be about saving her father, an innocent man, he knew it had been about her. About the possibility of her being redeemed. Memories of what they’d had. The _could have been_ that never got the chance to be anything but that.

Unlike Hannah, Sean hadn’t betrayed Juliet. Him showing up when she was feeling vulnerable and lonely and with all that history she’d hinted they had… he hated that he could understand why it might have happened. 

And how maybe he could see how it explained some things.

Why she’d been so driven, so focused on finding Richard’s killer, for example. She’d been guided not only by her grief and anger but her guilt too. 

Maybe it also explained why she was so reluctant to get close to people again. She wasn’t just hurt, she was punishing herself. 

Also why she’d been upset enough to lie about having hurt her arm, as to not have to reveal to him she’d gone on a date with a married man, just a few weeks ago. It was all tied up in something else.

Maybe it also explained also why her relationship with Sean was so...odd. Well, part of why.

She turned around and she was several shades paler. “I didn’t mean for it, I didn’t wa-...it was a mistake. He gets in my head.”

“Do you want to be with him?” This was really the only important question. "Now?"

“No.” She stepped forward towards him. “Absolutely not.”

“Okay,” he said, deciding whatever had happened three years ago was three years ago. It wasn’t who she was now. “What about trying this? Us? Do you want that?”

“I-I,” she said, then surprising the hell out of him in the best possible way by nodding, “Yes.”

“Okay,” he said, the feeling of a hundred butterflies were suddenly swarming in his stomach. “Then Sean doesn't matter. Only what we want matters.”

“Just like that?” she asked and she looked like she might cry. 

“Just like that,” he said and taking a chance, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to him.

She was tense for a second, then melted into him, resting her cheek against his chest, letting him comfort her.

“You sure?” she whispered.

“Yes,” he said meaning _I know you and I trust you. Completely._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Higgy's POV on this whole thing and the three years ago bit with Sean.  
>   
> Also happy international women’s day. It’s 101 years since women got the right to vote where I live (Sweden), 100 years for the USA, 92 years for the UK and 5 years for women living in Saudi Arabia.  
>   
>  **Fun facts:  
> **  
>  Since 1734 female taxpaying property owners (of legal majority) could vote in local countryside elections in Sweden.  
>   
> The Kingdom of Hawaii was one of the first places to establish universal suffrage in 1840 (meaning that women could vote). This didn’t last but was still important for women’s suffrage in America.  
>   
> In New Zealand, women have had the right to vote since 1893 and was the (first self-governing) country in the world to “give” that right to women.
> 
>  **Sad facts:  
> **  
>  In America, Nebraska was the first state where it was made illegal for a husband to rape his wife. This law was passed in 1976. It took 17 more years until it was illegal in all 50 states (1993). [ Source.](https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/crime-penalties/marital-rape.htm)  
>   
> Every year 12 million girls under the age of 18 are married, often against their will. That is 23 girls per minute.  
> [Source.](https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/about-child-marriage/\))  
>   
>  _Access to safe abortion is a matter of human rights_ and when performed by a medical professional, an abortion is one of the safest medical procedures available. Yet every year an estimate of 25 million unsafe (and often life-threatening) abortions are preformed because women don’t have access to safe methods of termination.  
> [Source.](https://www.amnesty.org/en/what-we-do/sexual-and-reproductive-rights/abortion-facts/)


	26. Crazy & Crazier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: I added warning tags for rape / non-consensual.

###  **Crazy & Crazier**

She couldn’t believe that she’d told Magnum. Her worst, deepest, darkest secret. The thing out of all her actions and mistakes she’d tried the hardest to forget. It helped she didn’t actually remember most of it. Painkillers, wine and Sean. Not a good combination. 

The clearest memory she had of that night was of him pressing too hard on her not fully healed ribs and seeing the look in his eyes. A look she’d seen before but never understood before. She had then. It had been excitement, arousal, at the fact that he’d caused her pain. 

After that she’d come to her senses. Realized what she was doing. But it hadn’t mattered, she supposed. 

Sean had convinced her, somehow, because the next thing she remembered was him waking her up, holding out a cup of coffee for her. 

She’d told him to get out and he’d done so, smiling smugly all the while. Once she’d been sure he was gone she’d spent five minutes dry heaving over the toilet.

She’d never told Richard about her betrayal. She’d never told anyone. She’d pretended so hard it never even happened, that she hadn’t, couldn’t have made such a mistake. 

But she’d told Magnum. 

Weirdly enough, that wasn’t the craziest part of their conversation. 

That had to be the fact that not only had they kissed - for the second time in one day - and he’d just come out and asked if she wanted to be with him. And she’d said _yes_.

She wasn’t sure what she’d said yes to exactly.

Maybe just exploring the attraction between them. 

Which was bad enough. She must be losing her bloody mind. Sleeping with a friend you were also married to? That was so much worse than just marrying a friend. Which was already bad.

Except she didn’t want to take it back. Even with so many more possibilities for it going terribly wrong. Even with the fact that she knew most likely Magnum would realize she was too… too difficult. That they were too different. 

Not different enough to be partners, friends but too different for him to actually want her to be person he shared his life with. Not that that was what she wanted. 

Actually she wasn’t sure what she wanted. A big part of the problem. She liked knowing. She liked having all the variables. Then again, what had that helped anything in her life?

Even back in her childhood even when she thought she knew what was going to happen, something different had. Cambridge had led to Sean. Sean had lad to MI6, where she thought her destiny lay. Maybe it had, but thinking about it, all those things and times had hurt her as much as they helped her. Even Richard in a way.

Magnum hadn’t done that, hadn’t pulled the rug out from under here so to speak, yet. He had hurt her feelings a couple of times (and he frustrated her on a daily basis), but never truly hurt her on the same level of almost everyone and everything before Hawaii had. But maybe this would be the way he did, the strange situation they were about to enter into. 

Except, what if instead it all just _worked out_.

It was a foreign concept for her. A year ago she probably wouldn’t have even entertained it. Things didn't work out for Juliet Higgins. There was always another shoe, waiting to drop. But Hawaii was different. Things had been so good here. Maybe they could keep on being that way, better even, for, well, she didn’t believe in _forever_ but maybe a long time.

Except they weren't staying in Hawaii.

She hadn't seen Magnum since the kiss and her reveal. She'd needed a moment and had sensed -or maybe hoped- he did too. It had been a little space or actually finishing what they'd started on her bed. As interesting as that prospect was, there was still too much rawness, too many memories, floating too close to the surface. So a temporary retreat had been in order. She'd finalized their travel plans and done her best not to think about what it all meant (and failed utterly) while Magnum had found something in the guest house or on the grounds to occupy himself with. 

Now it was past six and she _missed_ him. Foolish. 

Still, she went to find him, first searching in the guest house and then when finding it empty, she'd gone down to the beach. There she'd found Magnum staring at the small waves hitting the beach, as if they held the answers to the universe. Perhaps they did. 

“Hi,” she said, sitting down next to him in the sand.

"Hi," he said but then nothing more.

Strange, because usually, he wouldn't shut up.

She hated that about him.

She loved that about him.

“I can’t believe we’re getting married tomorrow,” she said, because maybe it was just too crazy. Maybe she was right that this wedding - being fake married - would be the cause of their downfall. But even as she thought about the risk, about all the things that had gone wrong in her past, that little bit of hope that this time - with him - it would be different, burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically this was just all Juliet’s thoughts. I didn’t mean for her inner monologue to be so long, it just kind of happened, but hope you found it enlightening. I already got most of the next chapter (which was part of this one but ended up in Magnum's POV) so that'll be out tomorrow!
> 
> Side note: Though Juliet herself isn’t identifying her incident with Sean as raped - as claiming it as her own “mistake” gives her a sense of agency - I’ve changed the warning and added a tag because I’d say it absolutely counts as non-consensual.


	27. Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting off, fair warning, I don't like this chapter. I've rewritten and cut and pasted it and IDK. During the original "outline" this was post-wedding. The previous chapters (with the dress and hug and Higgy thinking) was before the wedding which came in between. During the re-write that's probably how I'm going to try to do because right now I feel like everything is a bit disjointed.

### Sunset

“I can’t believe we’re getting married tomorrow,” she said her voice a little distant. 

“I can’t believe we’re going to Europe to take down your evil double agent spy ex lover,” he said in return, her words taking him back to the now. 

“Who is working for the guy who kidnapped you.”

“And tortured you.” He nodded and said, “Our lives are kind of messed up.”

That had the desired effect and she smiled.

“Yes,” she said, sounding like she wanted to say more. 

“What?”

“It’s just funny. I was thinking of how well...”

“Well what.”

“One of the first things they did at MI6 was tell us to run up and down the steepest set of stairs they could find. They told us to keep going until we either threw up or passed out,” she said, almost cheerfully.

“What do you do?”

She gave him a look that told him she’d run up and down that set of stairs until she’d done one or the other. 

“That is messed up,” Magnum said, though similar things had gone down in SEALs training. Lots of other similar and maybe worse things. “You do realize that?”

She smiled. “I do.” Then she laughed. “I do.”

“It’s not funny,” he told her, even though her laugh had made him smile too even though it really wasn’t funny.

“But it is. You know being a spy is almost like being a PI. You wait around a lot, take lots of pictures, impersonate people to get intel, occasionally people try to kill you. Spies do it for Queen and Country, PIs… I don’t know why we do it.”

“You do,” he said and dared to give her shoulder a little bump. “For the clients that have no one else to turn to.” 

“Yes,” she agreed and rather than bump him back she, scooted a little closer and put her head on his shoulder. He hesitated for a second, then put his arm around her. 

She drew in a deep breath, but put her hand over his and then continued as if nothing had changed. As if he didn’t have his arm casually draped around her slim waist, couldn't smell her shampoo or feel her breath against his arm. The warmth of her hand. He wondered if this was their new normal. Wondered if it meant he could hold her anytime he wanted now; hoped it did. 

“Point is...Sean, MI6, even FBS spent so much time training me, preparing me to handle situations I never ended up in. In the end, some of the worst things that were ever done to me by the people whose side I was actually on, or pretending to be on, at the time.” She paused for a moment then continued, “Even Richard, though he didn’t mean to, led to me getting hurt. Everything I’ve ever invested in… it’s never turned out well.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said because he knew what she was saying. _I’m afraid this won’t turn out the way I hope. I’m scared of getting hurt again._ Only she wouldn’t say that. She’d come as close as he thought she would earlier and now she was back to her normal controlled self, except she was letting him hold her. 

”It is. And that is, as you so succinctly put it, messed up.”

“You should have joined the military,” he told her after a few seconds. “There your team at least always has your back.”

She said nothing for a long time and they just sat watching the sunset. “I don’t regret MI6, my choice to join them, even if it was mostly due to Sean’s influence.” She lifted her head from his shoulder and turned to meet his eyes. “They led me to people I wouldn’t have met otherwise.”

“Like Richard,” Magnum said before he could stop himself and she looked away, out to the rapidly darkening horizon.

“Yes.” She nodded solemnly. “Like Richard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn’t want to end this chapter on a downer which Magnum bringing up Richard made it. BUT I think we all know who she was actually referring to. Magnum just had to ruin the moment by bringing up Richard...


	28. Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is...let’s say choppy.  
> But my attention span has been like a gold fish’s for a while. Seriously this week has been: Corona “omg we’re going to get guaranteed we gotta hang out before that” (the paradox of that sentence alone) vibes, applying for a new job (because my terrible temp job finally ended, except you know, now I don’t have a job), planning on dying my hair purple, getting trapped in a Brad Mondo bleach hair fail spiral, moving furniture, attempting to go to yoga but finding it closed (stupid corona), failing to hand in an assignment in time, a first date that was boring (which didn’t help with my annoyed-at-life feeling), eating way too much dessert + take out and the fact that my apartment is so cold. Also cleaning my fridge and freezer which is now basically empty. Which would suck if we got quarantined and things started running out so now I’m obsessing about buying like half the store but the whole no job bit is making me want to be a bit careful with my cash. So yeah, I don't know, I just feel crazy unfocused.  
> Wow, sorry if that got long and kinda depressing.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter.

### Yes

Juliet’s … interests in weddings hadn’t ever been about the cake, the dress, the table decor. These were components that had to be included and being the planner she was, she had of course planned and thought of those too.

But the thing about weddings was that... they were about people coming together and being happy for the couple about to start their lives together.

That was the part she’d thought about the most as a teenager and even adult. Only problem was she had no family - none that really cared - and friends had never been her strong suit. Yet her dream weddings had always been filled with lots of happy people. 

Only as Rick, TC, Kumu and Shammy all talked excitedly as she and Magnum waited their turn to be married in possibly the least romantic place in Hawaii - city hall - she didn’t feel like she was missing out. Because four happy wedding guests that really loved and cared about both her and Magnum was more than enough.

“How can you not have 125$?” Rick asked Magnum. “I told you to bring it.”

“I must have missed it, come on Rick, think of it as a wedding gift!” Magnum argued.

“I’m already throwing you an epic party, why do I have to pay for it?” They both turned to TC.

“Oh great, now I’m the one on the hook?” TC said but slid his wallet out.

“You sure you want to marry this loser?” Rick asked her playfully as Magnum and TC went over to the counter. “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“I don’t think that’s part of civil ceremonies,” she said, feeling weirdly calm. 

“I think it is,” Kumu said but Shammy argued Juliet was right that they didn’t.

She left them to it and went to where Magnum and TC were paying and filling out a form. Because as much as she trusted him, this was official government paperwork and she’d seen how he did his taxes. 

“That is correct sir,” said the middle-aged clerk lady whose name tag said Mindy. Mindy smiled at Magnum like he wasn’t getting married in fifteen minutes. She couldn’t really blame her as Magnum had worn his best (and possibly only) suit and was looking very fit.

“Who knew there was so much paperwork involved in getting married?” Magnum asked cheerfully as she put his hand on his arm. Maybe because she could and Mindy couldn’t, maybe just because she wanted to.

“Everyone?” she said, looking at what he was filling out. Surprisingly he was doing good, probably Mindy’s guiding hand. 

“Everyone but Thomas,” TC added.

“Shut up,” her future husband said, but they all smiled.

As it turned out no one asked if there were any objections. The judge, after some initial introductions just got on with it. 

A sort of strange surreal feeling descended upon her right then and she was so glad she and Magnum been told to hold hands because that felt like the only thing that grounded her.

Out of all of it, the only thing she really remembered was the judge going.

_“Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her both in sickness and in health; sharing with her your joys and your sorrows; and be true to her all the days of your lives?”_

And Magnum saying _yes_. 

“It’s for safety purposes,” Magnum said as he pushed the button for the top floor. 

“I’m not sure how safe the Ferrari will be with Kumu driving it,” she said. “There is a reason she drives the SUV. And why it’s always scratched up.”

“What are you talking about? Kumu is a great driver!” Magnum said and TC chuckled.

“Then why does she only own a scooter?” She raised an eyebrow. “And if we didn’t have any bad guys follow us here then why would they suddenly be following us to La Marianna? Also TC, just where do you plan to land?”

TC smiled. “You’ll see.”

* * *

*Magnum*

* * *

Magnum had only told Rick to move the party to Robin’s Nest. Because yesterday someone had tried to kill Juliet and it just seemed like one of those better safe than sorry situations.

He hadn’t been aware just how big the party Rick was planning, was going to be. 

“Magnum? Just how many people did you invite?” she asked in the coms as TC set the helicopter down on the lawn at Robin’s Nest and they saw the crowd gathered there.

“Me? This is all Rick,” he said, even though she sounded more intrigued than mad. 

“Rick called just about every person on this island you ever helped and invited them,” TC informed them before nodding they were all clear to get out.

She let him help her out of the helicopter even though he knew she was absolutely capable of getting out on her own - even with the long dress - and as he did he couldn’t help but to notice their rings again.

Every time he did, it was like this surreal dream. At the same time, he wasn’t sure if the rings, the vows, meant anything to her. Even though she’d said _yes_ , no hesitation and smiled and blushed after they kissed and the guys and Kumu hooted and cheered. Even with yesterday’s two kisses he still wasn't sure about anything. 

Jin was the first person in the crowd to rush up to them. “I knew it! _Partners_ huh!”

“Jin,” Juliet said, and actually seemed pleased to see him. And as more of their old clients and associates came up to them she seemed not to mind any of it.

Except, a big party at Robin’s Nest should be making the majordomo in her go ‘ _nope, no, not happening_ ’ only she wasn’t. 

That, Magnum figured meant, she was either really happy with the whole thing. Or she was acting like she was while planning his untimely demise.

As they followed a bunch of sparkly lanterns up towards where a dance floor and a DJ booth had been set up and he noticed wine bottles that were for sure from Robin’s wine cellar, he figured it was the later.

Only she didn’t seem to be seeing the pilfered wine bottles. 

“Rick did all this?” she said as she looked around at it all, at all the people.

“He always did plan the best parties,” Magnum said as champagne glasses were thrust into their hands and Rick himself appeared on a stage like area to their left.

“Attention all!” Rick said loudly into a mike, clinking his own glass of bubbly. “Even though I was not asked, I’ve decided that I am the only one qualified to hold the first speech.”

“This will be interesting,” Magnum said under his breath, moving a little closer to her as everyone was watching.

Rick’s speech wasn’t bad. It was in fact kind of sweet, if you didn’t count one or two not quite PG-13 rated jokes that made their way in there.

“Now, that’s all I got to say. Other than I’m glad she married him rather than kill him because honestly, I was a little worried a few times,” Rick finished. “And we all know she could have.”

There was a general consensus by nods of heads that this was true and so Magnum felt compelled to defend himself. “Hey! I’m not helpless!”

“Anyways, that’s all,” Rick said, ignoring him. “Now I think tradition states it’s time for the first dance!”

This was news to Magnum, as he was not that clear on the way weddings normally went. But he had nothing against the idea. Juliet, on the other hand, didn’t look as excited and smiling as she had before. Maybe, she even looked a little nervous.

“Shall we?” he asked and after a hesitant second let him take her out onto the temporary set up dance floor. 

“I’m not a very good dancer,” she whispered as he put his hand on her waist.

“We’ve found something other than swimming Juliet Higgins isn’t the best at?” he said playfully. “Don’t worry, just let me lead and we’ll be fine.”

“Honestly Magnum, I said I wasn’t very good, not totally inept.”

Her version of _not very good_ turned out to be quite good enough, especially since Magnum’s last dance lesson was senior year of high school.

“You should smile,” he told her as more people started coming onto the dance floor. 

“I’m counting,” she said.

“That’s not very romantic,” he said, and without thinking too hard about it, dipped her. 

Startled, she grabbed hold of his arm. 

“Don’t worry,” he said, pulling her back. “I wouldn’t let you fall.”

She gave him a look. “You sound like the hero of a Nicholas Sparks novel.”

“We should kiss,” he whispered, because people would expect them to kiss after a dance and a dip like that.

“Mmm,” she agreed and slid her arms around his waist and tilted her head up a little. He wondered as he touched his lips to hers if this was their third or fourth kiss. Was this because she wanted to or because everyone else expected it.

The music changed to what Magnum knew Rick referred to _sway music_. Which was just what he wanted because it meant he could keep on holding her, training his fingers along the tiny buttons of her dress. Could keep remembering doing the up yesterday and what came after that. Could feel her hair tickling his chin as she rested her head against his chest. Could just enjoy the moment, the way he was learning to do in a whole different way with her.

”There are a lot of people here,” he said after a while.

“Mmm,” she agreed, then stopped swaying and stepped away from him. “I need some air.”

“We’re outside,” he unhelpfully pointed out, surprised when her hand came up to wipe at her eye. Dust or pollen, for sure, some smudge make-up maybe, because surely Juliet Higgins wasn’t tearing up.

“You’re upset,” he said and putting a hand on her lower back - because he could do that now and it was totally normal - moved her through the crowd.

“Tell me,” he said as they reached a quiet darker spot away from the festivities.

“It's nothing,” she insisted.

“I don’t think it is,” he said. “It’s not about the wine? Or Rick inviting everyone that ever hired us?”

“No.”

“You sure,” he said, trying to get a smile back on her face. “I can send them all away.”

“You wouldn't dare.”

“Then what is it?”

“This is just… it’s nice,” she said. “Rick did this for us. And he invited all these people. They all came because they’re happy for us.”

“So you like it?” he asked, confused. ”You’re happy?”

“I like it too much,” she told him after a long few moments before turning and hurrying back to the party. He let her go, wondering why liking her own wedding was such a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know, wedding chapter, you were hoping for more Miggy fluff. But don't forget, we still have a wedding night left for that...


	29. Always Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, short and it’s been so long and I haven't been responding to any comments (I have read them and they've really help to motivate me), I’ve just been feeling so uninspired and with only sad Corona news - everything being closed, social distancing and being unemployed - is making me feel a bit depressed. 
> 
> But now it’s only a little over 2 weeks left until we get Magnum PI again! Whoooho! This thought has cheered me up and since I’ve got nothing else to do I’m going to re-watch some of my favorite episodes in preparation for that! So I’m hoping I’ll get some Miggy feels back and get me writing again.

### Always Us

“Our flight leaves at nine tomorrow,” Juliet said, as she put things into her suitcase. She’d somehow gotten out of her many-buttons dress without asking him for help and was in a tank top and white shorts. “Not packing tonight seems irresponsible to me.”

“I’m just bringing a few things, it’s not like many of my clothes will be fitting for European winter, right?” he replied, looking up from his phone.

“Right,” she said, not sounding pleased about having to acknowledge he had a point. But she wasn’t really mad or even annoyed. Not really. Instead, she seemed _distracted_. 

Even as she got on with packing the things she’d brought down to the guest house just a few days ago, she seemed not to be focused on what she was doing. Or maybe she was planning on spending a lot of time at an indoor pool because she was packing all her bikinis. 

“Juliet,” he said, putting his phone away as he scooted to the side of the bed next to her suitcase. He picked up the rashguard she’d packed a minute earlier. “Do you really need this?”

“Perhaps not,” she said, taking it from him and putting it back in the drawer she’d taken it from.

“You’re distracted. Because you liked the wedding?”

She didn’t say anything, only closed the lid of her suitcase, zipping it up and sliding it off the bed, apparently done packing. 

He wondered if she’d thought about her wedding to Richard today. The one she’d never gotten to have. The wedding she’d wanted. He wondered if he could ever hope to step out from the shadow of that relationship, of Richard. Wanted to desperately even though maybe it was an unfair and selfish thing to hope, wish, for.

“No,” she said finally, sitting down next to him.

Last night she hadn’t come to bed until after he was asleep and been gone before he woke up. Only the vague scent of her shampoo and had told him she’d been there at all. Part of him had been very disappointed by that while another thought maybe a little less temptation had been a good thing.

But now she was right there, next to him and suddenly what he wanted more than anything was to slide the thin straps of her top down and just see where that led them...

“Tonight is the first and last night we’re just… us,” she said, toying with the button of his unbuttoned shirt sleeve. 

“That’s not true,” he told her, taking her hand to stop her uncharacteristic fidgeting. “We’ll always be us.”

She smiled. “Maybe.” 

“Not maybe,” he said and pulled her closer. “It’s a guarantee.”

“There are no guarantees. Especially not with Sean around,” she said seriously. But then she leaned up and kissed him and he felt that was a much better pass time than arguing about something he knew he was right about.

The kiss was a little tentative at first but as he shifted, she slid over and into his lap, that changed. So as she pulled back a minute later he almost felt out of breath as their eye met. There was still something in hers, something distracted, maybe even sad. 

“Hey,” he said, cupping her cheek with one hand. He wanted to say something to make her feel better, but he wasn’t sure what words might do that. He also, irrationally, wanted to tell her he loved her. Though he wasn’t foolish enough to actually do it. Probably he was just letting the dopamine or whatever hormones it was that confused caring, lust and love.

She ran her fingers through his hair, still giving him that almost sad look. He wondered if it meant this, tonight, was a bad idea.

“I thought this might feel strange,” she said slowly. “It doesn't.”

He hadn’t ever had such fears, he’d always known that if they ever went down this road everything would feel just right. And it did, he decided as he ran a finger down her arm, slowly, trailing over her soft skin like he’d imagined doing so many times. It felt almost surreal to be doing it for real.

She pulled her hands back and he thought she was moving away but instead, she pulled her tank top off, leaving her only in the shorts and a white and pink bra.

“I like this shirt,” she said, sliding her hands up to unbutton it, pushing it open as she went, but keeping her eyes on his as she did. “The whole suit. In fact, I think you should bring it. It’s very secret agent.”

“Yeah?” he said playfully before drawing in a quick breath as she leaned forward to kiss the skin she’d just exposed while beginning to move her hips just a little as she straddled him. 

Even though her mouth on his skin, especially as she pushed more of the shirt off him, scraping her teeth against his shoulder, was highly distracting he got to work trying to undo the clasp of her bra. Which despite having some experience, was not an easy feat. Especially has his mind kept going blank as she pressed closer to him. Finally, though he managed it, moving up to take the thin straps that ran across her shoulder with him.

Only she'd stopped her exploration of his body and instead held the bra to her chest. She hesitated for a few seconds before letting it fall off her body.

“I have tan lines,” she said, almost apologetically, which seemed like the strangest thing. Because he was not looking at some perceived tan line. 

“Where?” he said playing along, running his finger along some imagined line along the place her bra strap had been down to the top of her small breasts. “I don’t see any lines. I think I might have to take a closer look.“

While he wanted to tell her how beautiful he found her she was but decided showing her was better than telling her. So he picked her up, made sure they were actually on the bed properly, him above her, moving down a little so he could trail kisses down along the top of her breasts down to one of her pink nipples. She moaned and clung to him as he did and he thought few moments had been more perfect.

Then she suddenly pushed at his shoulder and as he met her eyes she looked if she was almost surprised to see him - which made his wonder just who she might have expected. 

But she smiled and said his name, pulled him in for another kiss and all his worries suddenly disappeared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK about the end but I’m not too good at more graphic/smutty stuff, so I’m just going to leave it here. You can all just use your imaginations for comes next...
> 
> I hope you're all healthy and doing (moderately) well in these difficult times!


	30. Better than Breakfast(in bed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short. Basically all fluff. Possibly helpful in distracting from corona depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the lack of updates and how short this is, I've kind of gotten my "groove" back and I’ve been writing more and replotting and working on stuff little further ahead. Now I just gotta tie those chapters in with the current ones!

### Better than Breakfast(in bed)

She woke up slowly, which was unusual for her. Normally she’d snap awake totally alert, but this was a gradual awareness of light, warmth and fingers trailing along her upper arm.

“Hey,” he said when she turned her head slightly to face him.

“Hey.”

“When did you get this bruise?” he asked, sliding his finger up to her shoulder. “It wasn’t when we sparred, was it?”

“No,” she assured him and kissed him. Because she didn’t want to talk about Sean. Not during this moment. Not when last night was so close, barely a memory yet.

He slid his hand down, around to her left breasts and scooted in closer to her, his front against her back. She felt the tortuous pleasurable tension, which he seemed to be able to create with unreal ease in her, begin to grow in her lower belly.

“You lied,” he whispered as he slid his hand lower.

"What?" she asked closing her eyes and enjoying his touch. 

“You don’t have a tattoo.”

“Seriously Magnum? That’s what you want to talk about right now?” she managed as he kissed her neck.

“No,” he said. “Not really.”

So they didn’t talk for the next little while and she let herself just feel. The second time was always better, in her experience. Even if last night had been beyond good. It was like he’d known just where to touch her, kiss her, when to whisper sweet nothings. All without her even having to tell him. The way he'd looked at her, the way it had made her feel so connected to him... It was new and different, compared to her other firsts which had often fallen rather flat.

Maybe it was the fact that she already cared about him and him, her. She’d thought, last night, that would make it strange somehow. That this new different dimension to their relationship wouldn’t work. But it had worked. It had even made it better. Or maybe, just maybe, Magnum was just a good lover. She preferred the first idea, even though it was scary in its own way. But if it was them, their feelings it would mean maybe he'd enjoyed last night as much as she had. That it had been something special. She wanted that to be the case, desperately. 

* * *

“My grandmother would have been so proud,” Magnum said, afterwards as she rested her head on his chest, enjoying listening to his heart beating. 

“I- what?” she asked after running that sentence through her head a second time.

“She was always telling all us kids that we should wait until marriage,” he said and gave her a big grin. Somehow, even though it was very foolish she had to smile up too.

“You do realize we have both had lovers before and the idea of waiting to have sex until marriage is rather archaic,” she had to point out.

“Come on,” he teased. “Didn’t you have some old relative who just wanted you to get married and give them grandbabies?”

“I did,” she said, even though that wasn’t a sweet memory, as his of his grandmother seemed to be. 

“I wish we were at a hotel,“ he said suddenly, maybe sensing her sudden unease. He was so frighteningly good at that. “We could have breakfast in bed.”

Something about the idea of a hotel made little warning bells go off in her head. Because tonight they were going to stay at a hotel - in Brussels.

“Magnum, what time is it?”


	31. -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I've changed a lot of things and now this chapter feels totally random and disconnected. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to take it down. So I did. Sorry.

I'm keeping this "chapter" here as a reminder to myself to think and re-read an extra time before posting because not everything works and/or should be posted.


	32. We May Look The Same (But We’re Not..)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just pretend the last chapter never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm taking the original chapter 31 down. It's just too random and not the direction I wanted to go in. So this chapter is basically is following on the "oh no, we're late" cozy morning in bed chapter.

### We May Look The Same (But We’re Not..)

* * *

#### Lena POV

* * *

Lena woke up late, something she’d never normally would have let herself. But Sean had gone to the secondary location and wasn’t due back until he’d met up with the rest of the team and _Juliet_.

After getting the coffee machine started she went to check the script she was running to see if any progress had been made. 

No. 

But she’d get in. 

Before Sean. 

Before Juliet. 

She’d show them.

Other than the promised money, that was all she wanted. Show Sean she was better than him. Certainly that she was better than Juliet Higgins. Because she was, wasn’t she? She felt a flash of embarrassment mixed with disappointment, at what she’d done because she feared she wasn’t.

Embarrassed because hiring thugs on the dark web to take Juliet out before she even had the chance to leave Hawaii had been rash. It could have mess everything up. Messed Lena’s chances at finally proving she was the best. Because she would. Even if part of her was scared she wasn't better. But she was also disappointed it hadn't worked. Worried. Juliet was distracting, taking all of Sean’s attention. Not that she really minded that. Sean’s attention was often painful. But they needed his focus on the mission.

If only those guys hadn't failed to kill her. It would have solved everything. But Lena shouldn’t have been surprised they failed. If you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself. That was the saying, wasn’t it? But no way was she going personally to attempt to kill Juliet, especially not with both Sean and her new husband watching. But she’d find some way to get rid of her. Some trap that couldn’t be traced back to her. But she’d tread carefully, not take any dumb risks. She was good at that.

Which was why she’d lived so long. Well, to twenty-eight. Still longer than most of the girls from the Russian slum Sean had picked her out of fifteen years earlier - after she’d swiped his wallet. Instead of killing, beating or turning her into the _politsiya_ , he’d sent her to boarding school in England. Given her a Macbook and instructions to reach a site specializing in stealing credit card data. He’d known how to wet her appetite, that was for sure.

She hadn’t seen him in ten years after that. Then, when she was about to go to prison for a failed attempt at hacking a casino app, he’d swooped in and saved her again. 

That was five years ago. He’d been grumpy and recovering from some injury. He’d said he wanted to train her and that together they’d make disgusting amounts of money. She’d accepted because money was the only thing she’d ever felt truly passionate about.

It even trumped her desire to prove she was better than Sean now. Prove that he’d become obsolete, chasing after things and using ancient methods. Chasing after Juliet, last year’s model, when he had Lena on his team. She’d decided she'd bear it though. As long as she ended up with a cool hundred million euros in her pocket. But showing Sean up in the process, showing him that the student had become the master...that was important too.

Flickering through the multitude of systems she’d hacked previously, she found the Brussels Airport. Face recognition let her find the people she was looking for. 

She studied them, her. 

Lena hated how much she looked like Juliet; the slim build, the purposeful movement, the curly hair. She knew from other surveillance photos even their mouths and eyes were so similar. Sean did have a type, that was obvious to her. And she hated that almost as much.

But she had to smile at the man, Magnum. He was in a word _boyish_ , wearing a gaudy red and white shirt that made him stand out like a sore thumb amongst the soberly dressed Europeans. 

If she hadn’t read his file, known he’d done some rather impressive things in the military, survived in a POW camp, she’d have dismissed him. Just like Sean had. But Lena was smarter than Sean. 

And she wasn’t going to underestimate either one of them.

* * *

**Juliet POV**

* * *

“I can’t believe you didn’t pack anything,” Juliet said as they got on the train that would take them to downtown Brussels.

“I packed my toothbrush,” he said happily, not seeming to mind the fact that he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. He should be cold and worried he was drawing way too much attention, but he wasn’t. In fact, he was unnaturally upbeat for someone who had spent twenty hours on a plane. “That’s all I really need.”

She shook her head because that was not all one really needed in - her opinion. “Let’s sit.” She wasn't so interested in getting off her feet - she'd been sitting for far too long and rather would have run a marathon - but she did want to put some distance between them and the other passengers. 

“When are we meeting Sean?” he asked casually as they found an empty group of seats.

“Seven. We have some time,” she assured him.

“Time, huh?” he said playfully and because she supposed, he could, slid his arm around her shoulders. 

She rolled her eyes. ”Time to find you winter clothes. And maybe some other useful things. I’m going to see where the closest hardware store to the station is.”

Taking her phone out, she got to work on that. He kept his arm around her shoulders all the way to downtown. And she found she didn’t mind one bit.


	33. Not As Expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote the last three chapters of this story a week ago and since then I’ve kind of been working here and there. So don’t fear, I am writing - just in the wrong ‘end’ of this story! But I did make a promise to myself that I’d update before the new episode! That’s a real good motivator because no way was I putting off watching it for even a second! I did kind of split this chapter in two to make it in time though...

###  **Not As Expected**

“We’re meeting him at a conference center?” Magnum asked as they walked down the street towards the modern centrally located building. Brussels felt to him both familiar - in the sense that it was a busy metropolis - and strange - because everything from the people, the smells, the traffic, was different, not just from Hawaii but from most places, he’d visited and lived previously. 

“What were you expecting?” she snarked. “A shady warehouse? Dark alley?”

“Yes,” he said, tugging his fluffy red twenty-two € ‘on sale’ jacket closer to protect against the cold wind. He wondered if he should have bought the black much warmer jacket Juliet had suggested. But he wasn’t going to be using it very long and spending almost two hundred euros on something didn’t make sense to him. Even if he now looked like a mix of Santa Klaus and the Michelin man. “Or at the very least some sort of secure location.”

“If Sean picked this place, it’s secure,” she said. She sounded so sure Mangum felt this awful tug inside, wondering if she ever sounded that sure when she referenced his abilities.

“Well thank you love,” a man that had been leaning against a car, focused on his phone said. 

It was Sean, only Magnum had failed to notice him because he looked so much like a dozen other men they’d passed. He wore a navy coat and his hair was darker than when Magnum last saw him, the silver all gone. He wondered if it was a disguise or vanity.

Juliet smiled and to Magnum it looked real. One of those smiles he could go days trying to get out of her. And Sean had just gotten one for no reason.

“Catch,” Sean said and a set of keys went flying towards Magnum. He managed to catch, but only barely. “I figured you two needed a car. This one is untraceable and rather pleasant to drive. Call it a late wedding present.”

Sean stepped away from the sleek silver Porsche 911 he’d been leaning on and Magnum wondered if maybe Sean had deserved a smile. Because it was one beautiful car.

Juliet sighed but leaned forward and put her hand on Sean’s arm. “You looked nicer with the gray.”

While technically a mild insult, it wasn’t said as such nor did Sean take it as, instead smiling down at her fondly. “It’s rather nippy out here, how about we go inside.”

They did, walking ahead of him towards the conference center entrance. Both wearing dark blue expensive jackets and moving in a way that said ‘ _we’re important, move out of our way_ ’ that didn’t just come from their fighting or spy skills but something _else_ , something he couldn’t pinpoint but suddenly knew he lacked.

* * *

There were two men in the conference room Sean led them into. One, a younger man with tattoos and a sort of wiery twitchy vibe that reminded Magnum of a fox. And an older gentleman; he had no hair on his head but made up for it with a neatly trimmed gray beard.

“This is Tristan, he’s in charge of transport and electrics,” Sean said, pointing to the twitchy guy. “And doctor Schneider.”

No one offered to shake hands or any more introductions, but Magnum doubted it had to do with stopping the spread of the coronavirus and everything to do with the two men being spies or criminals. At least that was what he thought about the twitchy guy - Tristan.

“Love,” Sean said, pulling out a chair for Juliet. Magnum noticed she stood just one inch too close to him. Not enough that anyone else would know. But he knew her what she liked her personal space to be. Sean was just a little to close and it was her, not him, making it so.

Magnum (after fighting down the urge to punch Sean for calling Juliet _love_ , like he had the right to do that) debated whether to sit next to her and glare at Sean or stay back where he was to show he wasn’t bothered. Except he was. A little. Because even though Juliet was married to him now and not Sean and she’d said she didn’t want a repeat... Sean was probably more the kind of guy she’d imagined for herself. 

Absurdly clever and good with computers just like her. Rich (judging from his clothes and the car key in Magnum’s pocket). British. A spy, like she’d been. If the guy hadn’t been a badie Magnum would have maybe been worried. Maybe some part of his mind still was, even knowing that. The fact that Sean and Juliet’s relationship hadn’t exactly been normal or healthy didn’t matter either.

He sat down next to Juliet.

And took her hand under the table. She let him but didn’t look or acknowledge the connection in any way, just kept focusing on Sean with sporadic glances at the doctor.

“Now, I asked all but Dr. Schneider here under false pretenses,” Sean said, as he opened a laptop that had been waiting for him on the conference table. “We’re not here to spy on the good people of the EU for the queen. In fact, if you asked MI6, they’d have told you I left their service this past autumn.”

“Not true, of course,” he said and clicked on the widescreen TV. Even though Sean technically was speaking to all of them Magnum knew it was mostly for Juliet. "But I'm still pleased none of you believed the lies. Now, on to what our real mission is."

“This is Ivan Torrecen also known by a number of other aliases,” Sean said as he walked towards the screen where a grainy picture of Ivan’s smug face was now plastered. “Deals in advanced weapons and been involved in arming a number of enemies to the west, most recently a bombing in Spain last year. Ten months ago, after he resurfaced in connection with an FBI investigation, I went undercover to bring him and his organization down, once and for all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp? Is Sean not the bad guy? Or is this just more of Sean being Sean...
> 
> As short as it was, I hope this brought you some enjoyment in these hard (and let’s be honest, kind of boring) times! If it did, don’t forget to leave kudos or a comment, they really help cheer me on and get chapters up faster...


	34. Never 100%

### Never 100%

“Ten months ago?” Higgins asked. “So shortly after his people _visited_ Robin’s Nest.”

“He’d been a target before that. But once I heard your name in connection with him, I decided to make it a priority,” Sean said, walking back over to their area of the conference room and his computer. 

Magnum wasn’t sure what to make of this. Sean going after Ivan after he’d learned Ivan had sent men that had tortured Juliet made a certain sort of sense. Maybe, it was even a sort of proof of him still caring about her. Proof that he was actually not a double agent? 

“You were still keeping track of me?” she asked and even though she said it playfully, mocking almost, he could tell she was affected by the information. In a good or bad way, he wasn't sure.

“Always,” he said and even though his tone was similar to Juliet’s, there was something else in there too. Something that made the words creepy as fuck. And Magnum now wanted to punch him again. “As I do with all my protégées.”

“So ten months? And you haven’t caught Ivan yet?” Magnum had to say. Because if it had been him and Higgy on the case, Ivan would have been behind bars months ago. Well, they had sort of been on the case since then, but without pieces of information, pieces Sean had apparently had to have been able to start his investigation. Still, Sean hadn’t succeeded and Magnum wanted to rub that in.

“It’s complicated,” Sean said, turning his gaze and a pleasant smile on Magnum. “We know Ivan is working with a number of different people. Bad people with deep pockets. We’re trying to map his network. It doesn't help that he doesn't trust me fully yet.”

“And bringing in Magnum, whom he knows have worked against him, seemed like the best way to gain his trust to you?” Juliet asked sharply. 

Sean smiled wider. “Mr. Magnum wasn’t supposed to be part of this. But as it stands, I’m hopeful Ivan won’t even have to know about his involvement. As limited as it will probably turn out to be.”

“Involvement? In what? You brought me here, tricked me, letting me think I was going to be your number two in setting up a whole new section of MI6 after Brexit. Since that’s clearly not what we’re doing, what is it you need me for?” she asked, letting go of Magnum’s hand, sliding out of her chair and moving over to where Sean’s laptop sat.

She pressed a button that took the picture of Ivan off the big TV and began to scan through whatever else Sean’s presentation had in it. He considered scooting over there as well because he wanted to see whatever Sean had planned. But before he could Sean beat him to it.

“Eager to get started, are we, love?” Sean asked as he sat in the chair next to hers.

“A bio lab?” She glanced at Sean then at Dr. Schneider. “And let me guess, you have access?”

“Yes,” the man said.

Tristan twitched at hearing this. “Bio lab? Like germs? I didn’t sign up for germs. I mean man, we’ve been through some stuff but aren’t there enough with this corona thing floating around?”

“Relax,” Sean said to Tristan, as Juliet continued to focus on whatever was on the screen. “It’s not a virus to make people sick Ivan is after. It’s something called RX42 and it has, from my understanding, to do with plastic.”

“Plastic?” 

“Yes.”

“Right. ‘kay.” Tristan still looked a little unsure. Magnum wondered if he was going to bail. And how Sean would handle that. He had just revealed something possibly very dangerous - that he was working undercover - to all of them. Did he trust Tristan enough to let him walk away with that information?

“And getting this RX42 for Ivan is how you show him you’re trustworthy enough to be privy to some of his other plans?” Juliet concluded. “If you have Dr. Schneider why am I here then?”

“Doctor?” Sean said.

The older man cleared his throat and began to speak in a slightly accented voice. “There is a level 1 facility here in Brussels I have access to. This facility is connected to the other, higher-level facilities. The RX42 is located at a level 5 facility, I do not know which one, but the computer system that connects them can tell us. But only if we have the highest security clearance.”

Magnum felt vaguely confused. They were breaking into a lab in order to figure out which lab they actually needed to break into? 

“You want me to hack their network from inside the facility?” Juliet asked, leaning closer to Sean, like real close and cozy, pushing the computer a little towards him. “What kind of encryption and firewalls?”

“I think I got it, I just need you to check a trojan I’ve been developing,” Sean said with a head shake, leaning closer to her too, their shoulders touching. Magnum cracked one of his knuckles, the _pop_ seeming unnaturally loud. “As for the actual lab, you don’t need to be there. Not for this one. It’s the level five lab I’ll want you along though.”

“Sean-”

“We’ll divide up in two teams,” Sean said. “You and Tristan can monitor. Me and Schneider on the inside. And Magnum.” 

“No,” Juliet protested. “I didn’t fly 20 hours to wait in the bloody car. You, me and the doctor go in. Tristan and Magnum monitor.” 

Magnum wanted to protest. He hadn’t come to sit in a car either, but Juliet, as if she knew what he was thinking, gave him a quick warning look.

Sean smiled and leaned back in his chair a little, looking between the two of them. Finally, he said, “If you insist.”

* * *

“Wait,” she said when they got into the Porsche. Magnum closed his mouth, not remembering having opened it.

She pulled her tablet out of her bag, along with some sort of radio transmission thing she’d bought at the hardware store they’d visited before coming to the conference center.

With a number of flicks and swipes of her fingers on the tablet, some tweaks on the radio, it began making a low buzzing sound, like white noise but with higher-pitched intervals at about ever ten seconds.

“These make decent signal jammers,” she said by way of explanation when he raised an eyebrow. “I’d bet you anything Sean had this car both wired for sound and with a dozen GPSs.”

“Is it safe now?”

“Yes,” she said. 

“Alright!” He started the car, squeezing the wheel hard. “Why did you say you’d go with Sean? He wanted me to go along-”

“Please Magnum, he’d either have stabbed you in the back or left you behind,” she said, dismissively. Like she didn’t know he could handle himself. Like she was so sure Sean would outsmart him.

“You don’t know that! He said he was working to take down Ivan? What if he is?”

“He isn’t-”

“You don’t know that-”

“It doesn't matter!” she cried. “Either way I don’t want you alone with him!”

“Me?” he said. It wasn’t him that Sean had sent guys to kill. Nor the one who had _history_ with him. “What about you?”

“I can handle Sean,” she said nonchalantly. 

“Is that what you call _handle_?” The words came out before he could stop them.

She narrowed her eyes. “What is that supposed to me?”

“You were basically in his lap!” 

“Honestly Magnum,” she said, her expression a mix between annoyed and amused. “The reason we’re here is to gain Sean’s trust and then take him and Ivan down. I had to get close enough to plant the tracker on him and I wasn’t going to do that by acting like he was my enemy! We’re spies. Deception is what we do.”

“Tracker? So that was all an act?” Magnum frowned. He’d thought he knew when she was ‘acting’. She’d done it enough times when they were on a case. This hadn’t seemed like that. But maybe because she wasn’t playing a different person. Just a different version of herself, sort of. “You could have told me!”

“I thought you were smart enough to figure it out,” she said stiffly. He wondered if that really was the truth or if she’d just not told him so his behavior would sell the act better. He wanted that not to be true, but either way, he felt a little...betrayed, almost, at the fact she hadn’t clued him in on the plan. “Besides, I’m not sure if the tracker worked, it hasn’t moved from the conference center. He might have found and dumped it.”

“What if Sean is telling the truth? What if he isn’t a double agent? We might be on the same team?” he said, hating that he was playing Devil’s advocate but it was a possibility. Right? “Should we be really following him?”

“I’m fairly certain he isn’t. Him having turned makes sense. He always played by his own rules.”

“But you’re not 100% sure?”

She looked out the window. “With spies, nothing is ever 100% anything.”

That made the uncertainty he’d been trying to ignore grow inside his chest. Despite having been so sure when he woke up this morning, in Hawaii, there was nothing to worry about, now he felt maybe there was. 

“Are you still a spy?” he asked, even though she’d said just a few days ago that being a spy was her past. That she didn’t want to live that life anymore. Only it didn’t quite feel like that. Jetting off to Europe, double agents, weird stuff to steal, fancy cars, doctors with accents. It was all very James Bond, wasn't it?

She didn’t answer for a long time as they drove out of the city. Then just as it started to rain she said, “I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else excited for this week episode? LOL, of course, you are! I can't wait to hear what nickname Higgy gives Magnum in retaliation for him calling her 'boo'.


	35. A Different School of Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG so still somewhat freaking out over the trailer for 2x17. It's like they're making **my** fan fiction into an actual episode! I know, I know the episode was written and probably filmed before this story even had a chapter posted, so you know, I can't take credit for inspiring it but it's awesome to know I wasn't the only one who thought this was a super fun plot-line to explore! 
> 
> So yeah, even though I had this depressing dream where we got a super romantic Miggy wedding right before Ivan killed Juliet and Magnum went all dark and killy and that's how the show ended (let's just pray I'm not as big of a prophet about that as the visa/marrige thing) I've been really freaking excited and happy all day! Did all my homework, wrote, helped my mom do stuff in the garden, re-watched the promo like 100 times, re-watched last night's episode! Overall, best day I had in weeks! Even if I’m thinking next week’s episode is more likely to make me cry (or scream in frustration) than jump with joy, I’m just absurdly positive right now!

### A Different School of Thought

“What are you doing?” she asked as Magnum suddenly took a turn-off, leaving the motorway.

He didn’t answer. Unlike him. But she knew why. She should be happy about it. Magnum didn’t understand the hows and whys and whats of being a spy. Not really. He was a soldier, a sailor. Good and brave and noble. She wanted him to stay that way. If she made the hard choices, played the game well enough, he wouldn’t have to change. He wouldn’t get hurt.

“We need to keep going,” she protested when he took yet another smaller road and then turned off into a parking lot. She’d turned off her homemade yammer to better be able to track the GPS she’d put on Sean. So she couldn’t say anything more. 

He parked, well, not really, he basically just stopped and got out into the drizzle. That awful red jacket he’d gotten because god forbid he wear something that made him fit in. 

She smiled even though she still had a headache from having been in the same room as Sean. She wasn’t sure why, she’d just felt almost dizzy and like she might be ill during the whole meeting.

He had opened the hood of the car. Then slammed it shut. Realizing a Porsche came with a rear-engine, just like the Ferrari? Except why was he looking in the car’s engine, it was running perfectly.

Leaving her tablet and the yammer she got out and went to the back. “What are you doing Magnum?”

“Just get back in the car,“ he said and squatted down to check something. 

“Magnum?” she said, displeased. “I told you, whenever there is a problem I want you to tell me. No matter how bad it is or-”

“Oh yeah?” He stood again, his dark eyes almost...angry as looked at her. “I have to tell you everything and you don’t have to tell me anything? That how it is?”

“Magnum-”

“No, don’t act like what you did today with the whole not telling me the plan with the tracker, putting yourself in danger by making him change the teams,” he said quietly but so firmly and clearly she might have preferred if he’d yelled.

“I told you,” she said, grabbing his arm as he began to turn away again. “I told you Sean would mess with our heads, make things-”

“Sean wasn’t the one that lied to me. You made the choice to do that, you didn’t tell me the plan and-and maybe I get why you did that,” he said, sighing. “Maybe you really thought I’d get it. Maybe you wanted to use my reaction. Maybe you thought I’d give it away somehow.”

“No,” she said, as an icy wind blew rain against her skin. “I just...” Why hadn’t she told him? To protect him? Or maybe, to protect herself? To see his reaction to her inching closer to Sean? 

“We both want the same thing here, don’t we?” he asked, moving a little so he was blocking the rain with his body. “To take down Ivan.”

“And Sean,” she said, nodding. 

“And Sean,” he agreed, reaching out with one hand to cup one side of her face. “If he’s really on Ivan’s side.”

She nodded. “He is.” He had to be. She needed him to be. She needed him not to be the good guy. Needed there to be a reason for her to hate him. One that didn’t make her remember how weak she’d been.

“Okay,” he said. Simple. Because if she said Sean was the bad guy, he’d go with that. He believed her. 

“Now why are we stopped here,” she asked as he stroked her cold cheek as if to wipe away a tear. Except she wasn’t crying. It was rain. Wasn’t it? 

He smiled. “Sean knows you, right? He’d have figured on whatever gismo you built. Probably accounted for it and added a backup tracker or something to circumvent a jammer. But he doesn't know me. Shouldn’t we try to use that?”

She smiled too. Then felt a quick flash of shame. Because she’d forgotten, just for a bit, that Magnum was, well, Magnum. He was her partner and her greatest asset. His skills and way of thinking was different from hers. Different from Sean’s.

“We absolutely should,” she said, turning to look at the car. “You would find the actual tracker and destroy it, not just try to jam it.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, not looking at him. “I should have told you what I was planning.”

“Yes,” he agreed grimly but when she glanced to the side he was grinning.


	36. We Could Have Been Star Crossed Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep writing random stuff when I really want to just get the plot moving forward so I can connect the bits I have finished but at the same time I really enjoy just writing Miggy interactions like these.

### We Could Have Been Star Crossed Lovers

Magnum wanted to ask if she trusted him, _truly_ trusted him, because that was what today was making him worry the most about. Because he trusted her, completely. Which was a dangerous thing, if she didn’t trust him back just as much; a sure way to a broken heart if he ever heard of one.

Problem was, if he asked her she’d tell him _yes_ most likely. Because she did trust him. Didn't she? He was quite sure she _did_. But if she didn't he was desperate enough to believe her, he would, even if she lied. That was even scarier. The possibility, as slight as it might be, she might do that. So he didn’t ask. 

“He’s stopped,” she said, looking at her tablet. “Been still for four minutes. I’d say he’s reached his location. Down this street.”

He followed her direction when she pointed. 

They were in a suburb or maybe small town, Magnum wasn’t familiar enough with the layout of European cities to know if they were as sprawling as American ones. Since they’d been driving for an hour, during which full dark had arrived, they might be in a different city for all he knew.

The houses, (or were they cottages?) were small one or two storey single-family homes with small neat yards that the soft street lights cast shadows over. Cars were parked on the street as in most cases the lots lacked driveways and garages.

“It’s dark,” she said when he went for an open space quite far down the street from the house Sean’s GPS tracking dot was in. 

“Closer?”

“I think it should be fine,” she said and nodded. “He doesn't know we’re coming.”

She smiled as she said it, a little smug smile. Just like the one she’d given him when he’d shown her the plastic-encased tracker he'd found after searching the car top to bottom in that parking lot off the highway.

He’d wanted to destroy it. She’d had a better idea and at the next truck stop she’d found an open bedded truck and tossed the tracker up onto it. If they were lucky Sean was tracking them all over Belgium.

“This place reminds me of where I grew up,” she said after they’d found a space that let them glimpse the house Sean was in. They’d both seen someone moving in there, someone about the right size for Sean. 

This game of cat and mouse, they had won. Magnum just wasn’t quite sure what she wanted their next step to be. He assumed she had a plan.

“It’s nice,” he said, surprised. Normally getting Higgins to tell him anything about her past was...well, like pulling teeth. So her volunteering information was something he wanted to encourage. “Dull maybe.”

“It was dull,” she agreed. 

“Is that why you learned to play golf and ride horses and all that?” he asked.

“No.” She shook her head. “That wasn’t until boarding school.”

“Your parents sent you to boarding school?” he asked, for some reason seeing a crying mini Higgy waving goodbye to her parents. He couldn’t imagine any parent doing that. Being separated from their child for months and months at end, voluntarily. 

She gave him a look. “I asked to go.”

“Why does this explain so much about you?” he said mockingly but then wanted to take it back. Because as he said it, the softness in her eyes dimmed. He wanted that look back. That look that maybe meant she trusted him because she was letting her guard down.

Also, he just wanted to know the answer, because what child _asks_ to go to boarding school? That didn’t seem...normal. Maybe it was in England? Then again, normal wasn’t exactly Higgins' forté. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Why did you ask to go to boarding school?”

She shrugged. Her 'i _t's a big deal but I'm trying to not make it seem like it_ ' shrug, then she said, “It was clearly the best way for me to be able to focus on my studies.‘’

“Did you like it?” he asked, deciding not to call her out on the fact that he didn’t for a second believe that was the real full reason.

“Did you enjoy high school?” she countered. Deflecting. But she _had_ shared something, part of her past, voluntarily, with him. 

He smiled. “I did.”

“Of course you did. You were a football player, I remember, you told me,” she said and rolled her eyes. 

“You play like a hundred sports, you can’t judge me for playing football!” he said.

“I’m not judging-”

“Sounds like you were,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t mean to,” she said, glancing down at her tablet, then back up again. “It’s just...”

“What?”

She blushed; deep enough that even in the low light of the dark car he could see it. 

“Nothing.”

“No,” he said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “It’s something!”

“Just, I was never very popular in school,” she said and swallowed. “It didn’t bother me of course.”

“Of course,” he agreed even though he was quite sure it had bothered her. “Wait! You’re jealous that I was popular and you weren’t!”

“Please-”

“You so are!” he said triumphantly but even as he said it, he wasn’t sure it was right.

“I was merely pointing out we were very different,” she said quickly. “We probably wouldn’t have been friends.”

He nodded, agreeing with the assessment.

Then she surprised him by adding. “I’m glad we are now.”

He was tempted to tease her about the fact that they were actually more than friends. They were married. They were... _lovers._ He wasn’t sure what other labels to use. Maybe _destined._ Destined against all odds to be a perfect yet unlikely match.

“I don’t know,” he said, wondering if this was maybe Higgy being uncertain. Maybe even wanting him to tell her that he would have liked her as a teenager. Thinking about it, he probably would have. “Maybe we’d have been star crossed lovers. The nerdy British girl and the handsome football player.”

“That would never have happened,” she told him firmly but smiled. One of her real happy smiles. He liked that he was the cause of it, even if he wasn’t sure if it was the joke or the sentiment, that they might actually have liked each other even as teens, that had made her smile. 

“No?” he teased, “You sure you don’t want to pretend to be sixteen again and make out in the backseat?” 

“Magnum!” she cried. But before she could tell him he was a Neanderthal or something, her phone rang. 

Just as well, because what passed for a backseat in the 911 was hardly big enough for them to squeeze into, much less make out or do anything _else_ in.

“Sean?” She answered the phone, her eyes and voice completely losing the softness they’d acquired during their talk. “No. We’re not currently crossing the boarding into Germany.”

She took the phone away from her ear and then quickly put it on speaker so he could follow the conversation too.

“I figured as much,” Sean’s crisply accented voice said. “Then I imagine it’s you parked outside. You want to come inside?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys want? You enjoying the slow development of the plot or do you just want to get to the heist and our duo taking baddies down? Or are these just sharing, talking and arguing together chapters your faves?


	37. But We're Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She did tell him to distract Sean...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, I've been working on some chapters and pushing some things together because this story is feeling - in my head - like 2 different ones. Or maybe even 3- We got the visa wedding thing, the Sean and Ivan plot + the Sean/ Juliet past drama. I maybe should have stuck to just like one or two elements. Like maybe the visa thing should have been it's own fic. And the whole Sean spy drama in Europe another.
> 
> Can't change it now (or can I..?) but I'm just a little annoyed I didn't do it differently from the start because I'd have a clearer direction on what I want to do/where I want to take this (I mean I have the ending, it's just the bits in between I'm a little conflicted about.)

### But We're Not

“So much for getting rid of the tracker,” Magnum said after they’d hung up with Sean.

“No, Magnum, he didn’t mean to lead us here,” she said, actually looking pleased with the fact that they’d been discovered. “Inviting us in is him trying to pretend he doesn't mind. Have nothing to hide.”

“Maybe he doesn't?” he suggested even though it did make sense. Why not just stay at a hotel? Maybe she was right. But this street didn’t look like a super spy’s evil lair. Maybe that was why he’d picked it.

“Alright,” he said, reaching for the door handle. “Let’s go.”

She nodded as she reached out and grabbed his arm. “Try to get him to leave me alone with his computer. Not the one he brought today, but whatever set-up he might have in there.”

“You’re going to hack him?” he asked, loving the idea of Higgy hacking Sean.

“I’m going to try,” she said and even though he liked the determined look on her face he didn’t like how she’d phrased it. She was always so sure. _Try_ wasn’t normally in her vocabulary.

* * *

She didn’t ring the doorbell and the door wasn’t locked. Seemed like bad spycraft to Magnum. Then again Sean had invited them in.

The inside of the house wasn't what he’d expected. There were landscape paintings on the wall, a bit of clutter over a minimalistic style Magnum would have called spartan but probably was just meant to look clean. It smelt of soap and something that took him a minute to identify but then did as burnt plastic. But there was mail on a small table and keys too. It felt lived in. 

Since the house wasn’t large there was no problem in finding Sean. Juliet just ducked through the first open door - following the thick bundle of cables, he realized - before the narrow set of stairs. He followed, but not before discreetly snatching an envelope off the table. Might come in handy.

If she’d been hoping to find a computer, she was in luck. There were six of them. Or at least six screens, set-up and connected to a huge weird looking thing of glowing tech-y stuff. Magnum figured that was some kind of server thing. That was the closest he could think at least.

Sean sat in one of the three computer chairs, clicking away at the keyboard. He kept going for a few seconds after they’d entered.

Showing how unimportant they were. Yet, Magnum thought Higgy might have been right, the confidence could be fake. Maybe Sean hadn’t really meant for them to see this. Whatever _this_ was.

“Took you long enough to find me,” he said to Juliet, his tone something between a disappointed parent and amused lover, as he rolled back from the desk a little. Not rising. A king on his throne, the pair of them supplicants. “I left you plenty of clues.”

“No, you didn’t,” she said as she ran her finger along the top of a computer screen. “You were trying to hide this place.” 

“Not this place,” a voice said behind Magnum and a woman stepped into the room behind him. “He was trying to hide me.”

Magnum didn’t mean to stare at the woman as she came into the room, but he couldn’t help it. Because she looked so much like Juliet. The hair, the eyes, the mouth, even their body types. She was like a long lost sister but not. She was harsher somehow. Her nose and chin pointer. Her eyes were strange, several shades lighter, amber, than Juliet’s familiar brown ones.

“Juliet,” Sean said, standing up and motioning woman into the room. “Meet Lena. Lena, Juliet.”

Magnum didn’t get an introduction, but the woman - Lena - gave him a quick, calculating look as she passed him. She was probably an inch or two shorter than Juliet but made up for it with sky-high heels.

The two women took each other in and if they found how much alike they look disturbing neither one showed it.

"Lena? As in Elena?" Juliet asked Sean rather than Lena, who looked as confused as Magnum felt at Juliet's clear recognition of the name.

"Yes," Sean said in a tone that was sharp enough to cut glass. Then put his hand on Juliet's shoulder. And she flinched.

He’d never seen her flinch - not like that - and he was close enough that he could see the look in her eye. It too was one he’d never seen before but for a second he was quite sure it was _horror_. 

Only a millisecond later a carefully calculated neutral expression was back on her face and she turned into the gesture, moving a little closer to Sean and raising an eyebrow as she glanced between Sean and Lena real quick. 

“Hey Sean,” Magnum said, because she _**had**_ said to find a reason to make Sean leave her alone with the computers. This seemed a perfect one, especially when Sean's touch had caused her that reaction, which he still needed to think more on. Later. When Sean wasn't in the room. “Take your hand off my wife.”

Sean smiled but didn’t take his hand away. Instead, he squeezed her shoulder. Magnum remembered the small bruise on that shoulder; he’d seen it that morning. It felt like forever ago. Did Sean know it was there? He couldn’t. Could he?

“Or what?” Sean asked, but before Magnum had time to make any threats - or take any action - Juliet gave Sean’s elbow a quick tap and stepped out of his grasp.

As she did, Magnum stepped forward, towards Sean, fist clenching.

“Boys, boys,” Lena said, stepping in between them as Juliet backed herself to the side and up against the desk. “We’re all friends here!”

_Yeah, no_ , Magnum thought, _we’re not_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ended it here because I've got 3 versions of the next little bit - one from Higgy's pov and one from Magnum and also Sean. I'm not sure which I'm going with.


	38. Which Shadow Do I Chase?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean himself made it a point not to forgive. But Juliet was different... in time, he would forgive her. Might even have started tonight, if she’d come to see him without Mr. Magnum and played nice. Or just come to play in any capacity, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of you seemed to like the idea of all 3 POVs. But I think it just turned out clunky also because I changed things up and tried to compress somethings this is not actually how the story was supposed to go. There was like 5+ chapters that I just decided to sort of smush and then move the other bits. So yeah not all that happy with this chapter but at the same time it needed to be in here for the story, not sure how I could have done it differently (other than writing 5 more chapters or possibly sticking with one POV) to get to the same point.
> 
> Also, hacking is like, not something I know anything about really. I mean, I did a little research but pardon anyone in the know/real hackers if I've miss-used terms.

### Which Shadow Do I Chase?

* * *

*Sean*

* * *

Sean’s one and only fault was his impatience. Even back in his childhood mother had complained about it, though it was always overshadowed by the praise she heaped upon him. Because it wasn’t really his fault that he was so much brighter than the rest of the children, she’d say. That he didn’t play well with others made sense, he was, after all, nothing like them. Better than all of them.

She’d even made an excuse, told a brilliant lie, about his sister’s dog. Sean still marveled at that. The things a mother could explain away, forget. Forgive even.

Sean himself made it a point not to forgive. But Juliet was different. He had been the one that pulled away from her five years ago and she’d been led astray. Not her fault, even if she still was somewhat to blame. But in time, he would forgive her. Might even have started tonight, if she’d come to see him without Mr. Magnum - who was still wearing that eyesore of a jacket - and played nice. Or just come to play in any capacity really.

As it were now, with them both -Juliet and her solider - here, he found he wasn’t enjoying the game as much as he’d thought. He’d hoped to slowly bring out the Juliet he’d made, perfected, slowly take them back to where they’d been. But perhaps, he thought, as she glanced over to Magnum, that wasn’t in the cards.

If he wanted _his_ Juliet back, he might have to shatter her into a million little pieces and then put her back together the way he wanted, the right way. And perhaps Mr. Magnum could be quite helpful in that.

Because, as he’d told her many times, caring made you weak.

And it was plain as day that she cared about her new _husband_. He hadn’t been completely sure, but even before they both showed up here, he’d seen it. The conference room earlier had almost confirmed it.

Yet, he’d hoped. Hoped that if she found a way to track him, she’d come alone. Hoped she’d remember who she really was without Sean having to help her.

Another fault perhaps. He was too eager to believe the few people he did respect would be as brilliant and rational as him. 

But alas it was not so.

Juliet had chosen wrong. But he’d enjoy showing her that, so in a way, it was almost a win in itself.

“Juliet,” he said, sliding the gun of his waist holster free. “I see your fingers on that keyboard, I’d suggest you take them off it. Unless you want Mr. Magnum to have a few more holes in him.”

* * *

*Magnum*

* * *

Having a gun pointed at him wasn’t one of his favorite things in the world, but Magnum actually found that he preferred it to the spy dance they’d been doing. This was straight to the point. Action and consequences. Sean on one end of the gun and him on the other. An enemy he could actually fight.

“Same for you,” Lena said to him as she stepped towards Juliet, a gun appearing as if by magic almost, in her hand. “Move and she gets it.”

Juliet took a step away from the computers. “You’re not going to shoot me. You need me.”

“He thinks we do,” Lena said, pointing towards Sean with her gun. “I’m not so sure.” 

“Besides, luv, I know you can take a bullet and keep going,” Sean said with a smile that disturbed Magnum. It was just so...happy. “Now, how about this, with Lena right next to you, you’re going to check some of the perimeters I’ve set for the algorithm I’m going to be running. And then I need you to make it faster. As it is, it takes too long. You were always good at finding creative and quick ways of doing things. And before you protest, yes, if you don’t, well...”

Sean waved the gun almost dismissively at Magnum, an implied threat.

“I thought you wanted us to work together on this,” Juliet said, taking a step towards Lena. Also putting herself almost right in the line of fire between Magnum and Sean.

While he kind of understood why; she thought it was less likely Sean would shoot her, he didn’t like it. Even if he agreed with her assessment, to an extent. That didn’t mean it was okay that she was putting herself in danger - even if it was for him; especially if it was for him.

“Oh we are. We’re still on the same team,” Sean assured her, confidently. “I’m just not sure I trust you. I figure we’ll fix that by just assuring I have something you’d value. To make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Like Mr. Magnum. Another _inch_ and I will shoot you. You know I will.”

She stopped. Clearly Sean didn’t make idle threats.

“Okay, fine,” she said, turning back towards the array of computers. “This was never really about getting back into the spy game for me. This was about getting my visa and some spare change. It was one last thing before I really retired.”

“One last chance to show Sean just how good you are?” Lena suggested.

Juliet smiled at Lena, neither confirming or denying as the pair of them went over to the computers again.

“Point is, you don’t need the gun,” she said simply, sitting down and beginning to scan through the code. “We only came tonight because we were curious. I feel like there is more to this plan than stealing one substance for Ivan.”

“There might be,” Sean admitted. ”Or not.”

Juliet gave Sean a look, such a look.

Magnum felt suddenly sure that even though she’d just said Sean didn’t need the gun, he most definitely did. 

“Get to work, luv. We’ll have a nice talk later. And you, move,” Sean said, gun firmly back on Magnum, nodding towards a door at the back of the room. 

“You’re a strange one, aren’t you Sean,” Magnum said, but he moved. Because figuring what Juliet had asked for earlier - some unsupervised time at Sean’s computers - was easier achieved with only Lena in the same room.

“No stranger than anyone else.” He pushed his gun into Magnum’s back as they moved into a kitchen area. The force of it might have hurt if not for the poofy jacket. He guessed there were upsides to everything. “More brilliant, maybe...”

Magnum grinned as the face each other. “Yet you need Juliet to check your code.”

“She sees the details, I see the big picture,” Sean said, eyes narrowing, clearly not liking this line of questioning.”That’s what made us excellent together. What do you two have? You’re the muscles and she...everything else? Open that door.”

He nodded towards a narrow door with an unlocked padlock keeping it closed. Basement?

Opening the door, his guess proved correct. A slim wooden staircase led down into the dark.

“Don’t worry, it’s quite cozy down there,” Sean assured him.

But before he could send Magnum down the stairs, there was a crash in the other room. To Magnum, it sounded like least one of the computer screens had met its untimely demise.

Reacting rather than giving Sean time to act, he grabbed and pushed his gun up. A shot went off, deafening in the small space. Since there was no blooming pain from a gunshot wound, he figured he'd managed to escape being shot. Always a good start. 

“Magnum?” Juliet called.

“All good,” he called back as he managed to slam Sean’s wrist into the wall to make him drop the gun. 

It clattered away but Sean was by no means going to let that stop him and Magnum just nearly avoided an elbow to the face.

* * *

*Juliet*

* * *

As soon as she’d seen Lena, she’d felt a strange sort of connection to her and thus choaking the other woman out hadn’t precisely felt good. But it had felt necessary. 

These serves were likely to be as close to a second brain of Sean’s she'd ever get her hands on. Getting access to it felt like it might possibly yield more than information about whatever he was up to with Ivan than getting him to actually share that voluntarily. And it might have other deals, information too. Something that would take him down.

She wanted that more than she wanted Ivan, she’d realized. Because as much as Ivan had become a shadow hanging over them, Sean had been her shadow for a long time. 

Problem was everything but the code Sean had wanted her to work on was trapped behind an asymetrical encryption. The gun in the kitchen went off as she was busy trying to find a backdoor through the system. But she decided to trust the ‘all good' and focused on finding one of Sean’s sloppy spots. Problem was, finding holes in some as good as Sean’s security took time. 

Time she didn’t feel like she had. She'd hoped to have subdued Lena without noise - something she'd have managed if not for the other woman reaching out and managing to snag the cord to one of the monitors - and then just counted on Magnum to keep Sean distracted. But that plan had failed so now she had to adapt.

She decided to try another tactic and quickly plugged in one of her trojan USB sticks into the nearest port. Left it do its job while she grabbed Lena’s gun and went to make sure Magnum was okay.

When she got to the kitchen Magnum seemed to be holding his own. But she knew Sean always fought dirty so she wasn’t interested in letting them finish their fight.

Still, she hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what was the outcome she wanted here.

Sean unconscious and her with unlimited time to access his computers would be ideal. A way to find evidence of what he was really up to. What his real connection or interests in Ivan were.

Problem was, this was a quiet residential area. One gunshot might go unnoticed, someone thinking a car had backfired or some other random noise. Another shot, if she fired even as a warning would quite possibly bring a host of police down upon the house. And they had no Gordon to call here to get them out of trouble.

So as much as she’d like to shoot Sean she’d better figured she'd avoid it if she could. Too bad. She'd been overcome with a desire to put a bullet in him since she'd walked in the door.

"Hey!" she said, loudly, just as Sean went in for a kick that dropped Magnum to the floor. "Back off."

"Got the best of Lena, did you?" Sean said with a grin, wiping blood from the side of his mouth as he stepped towards her. Something about that was eerily familiar. "What next then? You shoot me?"

"Higgy-"

"Stay out of this," Sean said to Magnum as he came up to stand mere inches from the barrel of her gun. "You're not going to shoot me."

"I will if you don't step back," she said, but she suddenly couldn't help looking at the blood on his lip.

She'd bit him.

She remembered. She'd never remembered that before.

Then, he smiled and suddenly she wasn't holding the gun anymore. She wasn't even sure she was in Belgium anymore. For a second it was all black and cold. She thought maybe, he'd shot her and she was dead, but then the world blinked back. Only it was fuzzy and the only thing in focus was Sean.

"That's how it always goes, isn't it, luv?" he whispered in her ear. Suddenly right there, his breath hot on her cheek as one of his hands wrapped around her neck. Squeezing.

This too felt so familiar. A memory that she'd made a nightmare; something she'd just made unreal. Erased, edited from her memory. 

Only it was real. And suddenly she could the taste of blood in her mouth, both his and her own, hear the sounds of the music she'd had playing that night but most of all, the pain from her half-healed ribs, and Sean. Most of all, Sean.

"Now, watch," he told her as he shook her, moved her, like a ragdoll. Like she had no bones left. She wondered if maybe she didn't.

The gun he must have taken from her went off and even though she hadn't seen him move his hand, wasn't sure how he'd gotten it, he had. The _boom_ brought some measure of reality back. 

But she almost wished it hadn't. Because what she saw was Magnum, stumbling into dark doorway, pain and shock on his face.

Then he disappeared, falling backward into black empty space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I got into the spoiler cookie jar and know it's not quite as good as we'd hoped, I still can't wait for tonight's (and next week)'s episodes!


	39. Like Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's short and another cliffhanger. You have been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Let me help you._
> 
> My babies! Engaged! They grow up so fast!

### Like Fire

She went for his eyes. 

And whatever Sean had expected it clearly wasn't an immediate attack because he let go of her throat, stepped away, in an effort to escape her nails.

He said something but she wasn’t hearing it. She was scanning for Sean’s gun. He’d had it earlier and Magnum had disarmed him, somehow, if she could find it… Or should she go for the basement? The door? Escape? The knives? Was he dead? Was she? She felt as if maybe she was, she was so cold. Maybe she was a ghost. Maybe it was a nightmare. Maybe...

Sean attempted to grab her again but she kicked him. A kick he taught her and knew how to block and thus it took them both to the floor. Stupid. But her mind was rushing in too many directions yet nothing was sticking, no plan formulating. She saw Magnum fall backwards into the dark in her mind's eye again. 

“Stop,” Sean said as she tried to get out from under him when they hit the floor, him manging to land on top of her. She felt the pain of the impact and then of a gun against her ribs. His other hand grabbing her right wrist and pinning it down. “Or don’t.”

Then he kissed her. As much as a man kiss a woman who wants nothing else but to kill him. Violently, harshly and with scraping teeth. And as soon as he tried for more she bit down to stop it, the taste of blood - both of theirs - was real again. Not just a memory.

“Come now luv.” He licked at his lip bleeding lip. Both from his fight with Magnum and her. She liked that they’d both made him bleed but at the same time she was disgusted that he seemed to almost be enjoying the pain she’d given him as much as he had inflicted upon her for most of their relationship. “Don’t be a spoilsport.”

She turned away, hating that look in his eye. Saw the gun she’d been searching for. Under a cabinet. 

Out of reach.

And to the side, the darkness of the basement door, still gaping open. She’d never liked the dark and she remembered another basement and Sean, years before. Still, that was where Magnum was.

She had to get to him. Help him.

 _The dead don’t need help_ , something terrible whispered in the darkest part of mind. _You failed and he’s dead._

No. He was alive. He had to be. Only she hadn’t seen where the bullet had gone. Except...Sean was a good shot. Might have been straight to the heart. And then there were the stairs. How steep were they? Enough for him to crack his head open? No.

No.

He was alive.

He had to be alive.

“You’d rather be down there, watching your love bleed out than here with me?” he asked, seeming to be reading her mind.

“Yes,” she said, her voice flat even though it should be vibrating with her repressed rage. 

Looking back up at him she’d thought she’d been angry before, many times. But she realized that had been a weak imitation of what she felt now. 

Now she burned with it. 

And she wouldn’t stop fighting this time. She had three years ago. She had three minutes ago. But she wouldn’t now. 

She'd win or she'd die. No in-between. No helpless surrender where she lost herself. And as she thought it, maybe he saw her newfound determination. And for a second he looked as if he was afraid of her. 

Good.

“When did you go so wrong? Where did all this sentimentality come from?” He shook his head but moved off her, gun still trailed on her. “Well, go on then. I think a few days in the dark might be just what you need.”

 _He doesn't want to kill me._ That gave her the upper hand. Because in that moment she wanted nothing as much as to kill him.

She got up slowly, eyed Sean, eyed the array of knives. Too far. She dismissed the idea. 

But as much as she wanted Sean’s blood on the floor, was willing to give her life for it, he was giving her a chance to go to Magnum without a fight. 

Debating for a moment longer she decided she had to take it because if she failed or got shot or hurt taking him down, she wouldn’t be able to help Magnum. 

Her choice made, not looking back even once, she went to the basement door and down into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so another cliffhanger. I didn't mean for it but the next section isn't done and I feel like this should be its own thing.


	40. Broken Bowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t feel lucky,” he said...

## Broken Bowl

Someone shook him, which hurt, so he tried to bat them away as he opened his eyes.

He looked at the woman for a few moments terrified because he knew that he knew her. Knew that he loved her. But he couldn’t remember her name.

“Magnum,” she was saying, shining a light at him. “Come on. Wake up, yes, look at me.”

In the waves of confusion, it suddenly came back to him. Not just her name but the reason he was in a dark room. Why he hurt. And how not good the situation was.

Also, that he loved Juliet Higgins. He had in a way known that since he asked her to marry him to keep her from leaving but it had never been as crystal clear as it had been when he knew nothing except _her._ Not her name but that he loved her.

“Higgy?”

“You bloody scared me,” she said, looking close to tears.

He’d never seen that before. Something must be seriously wrong. He scanned her to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

Except for the blood on the side of her mouth, she looked fine. A little blurry, but he figured that was the bad lighting, which he realized came from her phone’s flashlight. Still, he had to ask, “Are you alright? You got blood on your face.”

“I’m not the one who just got shot and fell down a flight of stairs,” she responded and swiped at her mouth. “Is anything broken? Can you move?”

He wiggled his fingers and toes, moved his arms and legs. It all felt rather sore but nothing was broken. His side hurt though. A lot. “Broken? No. Don’t think so”

“You sure?” she ran her hands over his shoulders, up to his head. He winced when she brushed against a bump on his head that felt like it was the size of an egg.

“I guess this jacket had some good qualities.” He patted the red fluff garment. It might not have been all that warm, despite its volume, but it had made it both harder for Sean to aim correctly and soften his fall down the stairs. He shifted it to the side to show where his blue shirt was turning red. “Not bulletproof though.”

“Hold the light so I can see,” she said. He took the phone, held it to the side a little as she slid his shirt up to reveal the gunshot wound. Weirdly it was almost in the same place as the wound he’d sustained in Afghanistan and Nuzo had cauterized. 

She poked and prodded him for a minute. “Low on the side. Through and through. Since there is not much bleeding I don’t think he hit anything vital. Overall I’d say about the best place to get shot center mass. You were lucky as all hell Magnum.”

“I don’t feel lucky,” he said but then re-evaluated that as she quickly took her jacket, sweater and then tank top off, leaving her in a nude-colored bra. Even though he really should be more worried about their current situation he couldn’t help but to admire the view. And marvel at how the plain bra was somehow more erotic than the lace matching set she’d worn last night. More real, more her.

“Well you are,” she said angrily, folding the top and pressing it against his wound. “Now hold that. Press hard.”

She slipped her sweater on and then the jacket too before she went back to checking his wound. Her fingers were icy cold and realized that it was several degrees cooler down here compared to the upstairs. 

“I can’t do much more than that,” she said, biting her lip, taking the phone from him and using the light to look up the stairs. 

“Did you call the cops?” he asked, suddenly realizing she had her phone. He remembered he had his too, but when he pulled out the screen was shattered and dark.

“No signal,” she said. “Either the basement’s walls are too thick or there is a signal yammer.”

“Oh,” he said and then for a second he thought it was Lena rather than Juliet before him. That made no sense though. Did it? Lena was upstairs. And if she was here, she wouldn’t be taking care of him. Would she?

“She looked just like you,” he said, reaching out to touch one of her curls. “Lena.”

“Or maybe I look like her,” Juliet said absent-mindedly, running the light over the empty basement.

“It’s creepy.”

“Yes,” she agreed, turning back to him. “Even creepier - I’m quite sure I was _her_.” 

“What?” 

“When I was undercover with FSB.” She scooted closer to him. “I was Elena Sokolov. I think Sean must have given me her identity.” 

“But you’re not Lena now?” He looked at her very closely, to make sure. Juliet, not Lena. He knew that, yet he felt he had to ask. Double-check. “Right?”

She frowned then held up her hand. “How many fingers?”

He looked. Couldn’t decide. Three? Four? Two? “Three?”

“I think you have a concussion,” she said. 

“Okay,” he agreed. He did feel a tiny bit sick and the slight blurriness that came when she moved the light was probably not entirely normal either. 

“I guess that takes sleeping out of the equation,“ she said with a sigh. “Can’t have you slipping into a coma, now can we?”

“You think we’re going to be here long enough to sleep?” 

She nodded then got up, taking the light with her. “I doubt Sean plans on opening that door for a few days. He knows isolation and light deprivation are effective.”

Magnum knew that too from his time in the prison camp. Only this wasn’t isolation. Dark and cold, yes. But they were together.

“It’s not isolation when there are two of us,” Magnum said. Because that was important. Alone in the dark was one thing. Together wasn’t so bad. 

“I don’t think Sean planned for you to be alive for most of it.” She moved around, while Magnum thought about that. 

Sean had locked her in here believing Magnum to be dead or dying. He’d planned to keep her down here with his corpse.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” he said but nothing came. 

Still, not good. A concussion and if they didn’t escape and the wound at his side had nicked something important or became infected, Sean might still get his twisted wish.

“There is a sink here so we at least have water. Nothing much useful. Unless you can pick a padlock on the other side of the door with a plastic water bottle?”

“No fuse box or anything to make them come down here?” he asked, reaching for the railing handle to get up.

“No. Nothing.” She came back over to him. “Sit down, you’ll-”

“Hurt myself? I don’t think walking ten feet will be worse than falling down the stairs,” he insisted.

With a ‘suit yourself’ shrug, she helped him stand and walk over to the sink. Then around the rest of the basement. It was rather large about twenty by twenty feet and totally empty. No windows. No secondary door. Nothing. Except for a disturbing dark stain on one side of the back wall. 

Magnum felt a tad bit sicker looking at it.

“You sure there isn’t any reception?” he asked, nodding to the phone. 

“No,” she said with a sigh. “And we’re going to have to turn the light off to preserve the battery.”

“Why do we need the battery? We can’t call out,” he said.

“Trust me,” she said, her eyes dark and shining in the flashlight’s harsh light. “A day from now or two, you’ll be glad for the ability to have a light for a minute.”

“You’ve done this before too huh?” he said as they went back to the corner at the bottom of the stairs. “FBS training? Or some other fun place?” 

“FSB, mostly,” she said and smiled sadly as they sat back against the wall. 

She didn’t turn the flashlight off.

“Does this remind you of Afghanistan? The POW camp?” 

“Not really. It was never as dark as this. And the sounds and smells were a lot different there. The cold was different from this cold too,” he said, pulling her closer against his side. The one without the bullet hole. “Does it remind you of Russia?”

She said nothing for a long time, then, “yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s strange. I know Russia is no different from the US, Irak, North Korea. England.” She drew in a deep breath and turned her face to him, inches away. “Everywhere has people who can think of terrible things to do to other people...I guess Russia was just the first place I realized it, so I remember it the best.”

Even though part of him agreed that there was a lot of terribleness in the world, the fact that she knew it even better than him, that she accepted it so readily, bothered him. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” she said after a few seconds.

“Like what?” Because all he’d been doing was taking her in, cataloging these new pieces of the puzzle that was Juliet Higgins.

“Like I’m broken. Because I’m not,” she said firmly. 

“I don’t know,” he said, needing to lighten the mood a little. Because there was just so much tension and sadness in her. And he couldn’t change her past with Sean or her time in Russia. And something he’d read over ten years ago had for some strange reason floated back into his mind. “I think you might be like one of those fancy Chinese bowls.” 

“What?” She frowned, clearly confused.

“The ones they fix with gold,” he explained. “When they break. So, in the end, their cracks are the most beautiful parts.”

She opened her mouth, stopped, smiled, shook her head a little. “Sometimes you amaze me Magnum.”

“Only sometimes?”

Still smiling, she rolled her eyes before she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thomas…”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Kintsugi: the art of precious scars, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum…. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise._


	41. Attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today it was snowing when I woke up. Then it hailed after lunch.  
> Good times.

**Attempt**

“Rosa Parks, Cleopatra and Sara?”

“Sara who?”

“Sara Woller. She works at La Marianna,” she clarified. “Purple highlights.”

“I told you, no real people,” Magnum said. “Only celebrities and famous people.” 

“Right.”

“How about I go again; Sean Bean, Jack the-.”

“Who?”

“Are you kidding me? The Game of Thrones guy,” he said, wishing he could see her face to know if she was kidding or not. “Isn’t he like a brit or something?”

“Contrary to popular belief Magnum not all people from the UK know each other,” she countered. “Is he the pretty elf?”

“No. Wait. Are you thinking of Orlando Bloom?” She said nothing. “You are, aren’t you? That’s not even the same show. Though Sean Bean is in that-”

“Look,” she said, nodding up towards the top of the stairs. “The light just turned off.”

She was right, the very slim band of light that had been visible at the top had just winked out. 

Maybe it was the concussion or just general fatigue but he couldn’t muster up the same level of excitement for this that seemed to cause her. 

Especially since it meant she shifted away from him and turned the lights on, temporarily blinding him, and then began heading up the stairs.

He debated following but his side hurt too much. Besides he wasn’t sure how the light's going out changed anything. 

She came back down after a minute all lit up like she was some kind of ghost or angel. He wondered if it was an omen and really hoped not. “I hoped maybe I’d be able to get the phone to pick up a signal. Your phone, where is it?”

He found it and handed it over. “It’s broken.”

“I know,” she took the casing off. “But we might be able to use the battery to start a fire.”

“A fire?” While a little light and some warmth - it was getting pretty cold - sounded nice, Magnum didn’t think a fire in a basement with no real ventilation seemed like a good idea.

“The door is wood, if I can get it to catch-”

“You’re going to burn the door away?” he asked, wondering how she’d even thought of something like that.

“Yes,” she said and bent the battery-free. “Maybe.”

She took the battery and the phone back up to the door. 

Magnum still wasn’t sure setting a fire in such an enclosed space was the right way to go. But if she could set the door on fire around the section where the lock was located she might be able to weaken it enough that she could kick it in, or out, as it were.

She managed to get a flame, which she caught on something, might have been her knitted gloves. 

He briefly wondered if he was actually passed out and having a good dream because her plan was working.

Then she coughed and a few seconds after that swore and the flames died.

“Blood hell.” She came back down the stairs looking like she wanted to murder something. 

“It could have worked,” he offered weakly.

She coughed. “Don’t flatter me Magnum. It was a fool’s errand.”

He pulled his hands into the sleeve of his jacket. “It was something.”

“Are you cold?” she asked, suddenly a concerned expression taking over the murderous one. 

He was. He had been trying to tell himself it was just the basement's cold air. The lack of movement. But it was probably in part due to blood loss. 

“Yes,” he admitted. “Aren’t you?”

“Not really,” she said, then rubbed her hands together. “Maybe a little.” 

“We should huddle together for warmth,” he suggested.

“Why am I not surprised that is your first idea,” she said and leaned down and moved his jacket to the side. Her hand - which was cold even if she didn’t want to admit it - gently touched his wound. “You're still bleeding. What if he nicked one of your kidneys?”

“Relax I feel fine,” he said, because there was nothing to do if that was the case and worrying her before it was a fact would help nothing. In fact he rather thought she should probably try to relax, maybe even sleep, so at least one of them would be functioning at least almost normal levels tomorrow or whenever Sean came looking for them, for her. 

She pressed her top/bandage back against his wound and used his shirt to keep it in place. “Magnum if you’re-”

She started to stand but he tugged at her hand. “Just sit down. You can’t do anything right now. You can’t fix me, you can’t break us out. I know it’s not in your nature but how about you try to relax a little?”

“I don’t feel very relaxed.”

“I know,” he said. 

Despite her words, she let him pull her down and he managed to get her to sit between his legs. “We’ll be warmer.”

She frowned and wouldn’t lean back against him. “I’ll hurt you.”

“No you won’t,” he assured her, tugging her against him. She hesitated but after a moment relaxed against him. 

As she turned the light off the phone again, plunging them into darkness he tugged his arms out of the sleeve of his jacket and then used it to wrap them both in it. It was big enough it managed to envelop them both, creating a little cocoon for them.

Her hair smelled like her familiar shampoo, citrus and something that made him think of a beach, and it made him nostalgic for Hawaii even though it had only been 24 hours since they left.

“Your hands are colder than mine,” she said and as she did slid his hands down and under her jacket and onto the bare skin of her stomach. “You need to get warm.”

He had no protests and slid one hand upward and the other slightly down to the edge of her pants, toying with the fastening.

And suddenly he didn’t feel the least cold. In fact he felt little bits of warmth blooming all over him.

Her he marveled how her skin was so soft for a minute.. At the warmth of it, her. And how she’d put his hands on her bare skin to warm them. How different it was to how things had been between them yet it felt normal. Then he felt strangely like he’d won some sort of award.

Not in the sense that she was something he’d won but more in how he’d just found her at all. Won by actually realizing he loved her. Won by getting to experience _them_.

“Magnum?” she said as he slid his hand lower, sliding a little lacy bit of fabric out of the way.

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?” she asked even though it was pretty obvious. And as a bonus, it would hopefully help her relax… “You’ve been shot.”

“My hand still works,” he told her, kissing the side of her neck while rubbing his hand against her. “Other parts too.”

“We're trapped, _mmm_ , in a basement with no- _ohh_ , no plan,” she said.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked and did for a second.

“Absolutely not,” she said roughly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, that was Mangum and Higgy playing kiss, marry, kill at the start.
> 
> Also, I don't know if this whole chapter was a bit useless or not. Also not sure the sex-y moment should be in here, I thought it was kind of fun when I wrote it because I wanted to lighten the mood a little. Then I realized trapped in a crazy guy's basement might not be the time for mood-lighting and now I'm not really sure works with the story so I might change it in the re-write. But for now it's here.


	42. The Devil You Don't Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random fun fact, tonight was valborgsmässoafton (walpurgis) here in Sweden which would normally mean bonfires and markets and choires singing in the spring. But of course due to Corona it wasn't but still thought it was a fun thing to share because I don't think many places have it? I could be wrong. Do you have any spring rituals or events that you are missing?

### The Devil You Don't Know 

* * *

Juliet POV

* * *

_They were in her old flat in London and everything was bathed in rare winter sunlight. She remembered this day, she’d been so happy. They’d both been._

_“I brought you a gift,” Sean said and held out a small blue shopping bag._

_She felt her heart rate pick up and color come to her cheek. She’d told him about how she hadn’t celebrated her birthday since her mother died, because there was no one who remembered it. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”_

_“Course I did luv.”_

_She felt a happy little sigh escape her as she got the box out of the bag and then opened it._

_There was a gun inside. A small Smith & Wesson with a little red bow on top. _

_“You like it?” he asked, suddenly behind her. “Or would you have preferred diamonds?”_

_“It’s perfect,” she told him, because it was a beautiful piece. Not what most twenty-one-year-old girls dreamt about, but she tried to tell herself it was just what she’d wanted._

_“I know. It’s just like you,” he said, pulling her close and whispering in her ear. “Beautiful and deadly.”_

_“_ Higgy _,” a voice interrupted and Sean’s hand grabbed her wrist. As if to hold her and keep her from going to whoever it was that was calling her._

_But she wanted to go to him. Because she knew who it was that was calling and she’d always go to him when he called._

_“Let go,” she told Sean and tore her wrist free. He laughed and she looked back at him; his face was melting away, revealing a black oozing demon creature._

_“Never,” he said._

She woke with a start, for a moment not sure she had actually awoken because it was so dark.

Then Magnum’s voice, close to her ear, the heat of his body behind her, took her fully back to reality. “Juliet?”

She’d fallen asleep! 

How could she have done that? 

She supposed the awner was obvious, a mix of jet-lag, coming off her adrenalin high from the fight with Sean and then having Magnum’s fingers tease an orgasm from her while they were snuggled together inside his jacket. 

As _reasonable_ as it was, it still could have spelled disaster. 

She was supposed to be watching over him. He was the one who was hurt, needed to stay awake. Instead, she’d clunked out like a toddler on a long car ride. Yet another mistake that could have ended very badly for them both.

“Are you okay? You were digging your nails into my arm.”

“I-just a strange dream,” she said. It had been a memory actually. More or less. Sean had brought her a gun for her birthday and made it more special than it had been for years. 

It was weird to think of a memory of him that was nice...except for the whole turning into a demon, which obviously hadn’t happened in real life. At least not so literally and not until much later. 

“Sean?”

“Yes,” she said. 

“We should talk about him. About what happened up there,” he said softly. “You froze.”

She shook her head in the darkness, taking the conversation in the direction she wanted. One she could handle. “It wasn’t a bad dream. It was a memory. It was sweet almost.”

“Sweet?” he sounded disbelieving. And he probably had a right to. He hadn’t seen so much of Sean’s nicer charming side. Or when he had, he’d been aware it was most likely an act. It had taken her so long to see that.

“Sean remembered my birthday. No one had for a long time,” she said and wondered why she sounded so defensive. She wasn’t. Perhaps she just didn’t want Magnum to know how easily fooled she’d been. Thinking of it, there were many things about her and Sean’s relationship she didn’t want him to know because of how it would reflect on her.

“When is your birthday?” he asked, seeming to realize he didn’t know. Or maybe just going with her change of topic, letting her off the hook on what happened in the kitchen. For now. Knowing Magnum, he would have his answer.

She told him her date of birth.

“But that was last month? You never mentioned it,” he sounded genuinely bothered by this.

“I didn’t think it-” she started but at scraping sound at the door at the top of the stairs shut her up.

“Someone’s coming.”

* * *

Magnum POV

* * *

“I’d suggest you play dead,” she whispered as she rolled away from him.

Not liking this plan but not really having a better idea, he said nothing and half-closed his eyes as the light from the phone’s flash came on.

The door opened only the person silhouetted at the top of the stairs was not Sean but Lena. And she didn’t close the door, but rather kept it open and sat down at the top step of the stairs.

“At least you got water down here," she said almost dismissively. As if their situation was a joke. "First time he locked me somewhere dark and cold it was a shipping crate.”

“Root cellar,” Juliet said. “I still can’t stand the smell of them.”

“Sick sadist.” Lena laughed. “But I imagine you know that even better than me.”

“Where is he?” 

“He went to the lab to meet the doctor. I guess he decided to chance it with the virus he had. Knowing his luck, he won’t have a problem. Here.” 

She tossed something down to Juliet. 

“Power bar,” Juliet said, for his benefit or just stating a fact he wasn’t sure. “Thanks. I’m sorry I choked you out.”

“Better than a blow to the head or broken nose,” Lena said amiably. “He still alive?”

“Yes.” 

“For how long?” She sounded only mildly bothered by the possibility of his death. He tried not to take it personally.

Juliet said nothing, her silence making it seem he was worse off than he was without actually telling the lie.

She took a step up the stairs. Then another.

“Nuhuh,” Lena said and he heard a gun click. “You stay down there.”

“Alright.” She unwrapped the power bar she’d been given. The sound of crinkling wrapping paper made Magnum’s own stomach grumble and he wondered if they could hear it. “What do you want then?”

“I found your trojan USB,” the other woman said. “There is some interesting code on here. Some of it is strange, doing things it shouldn’t be able to do. I don’t understand it.”

“And you want to.” Higgy took another step up the stairs. No warning. No threats. “I can show you. I can teach you. We can all leave together-”

“I don’t want to leave,” Lena said sharply. “Sean is going to make more money than god on this plan. I, like most people, like money.”

“Enough to have to put up with someone who has no real regard for you?” Another step up. “Someone who enjoys your pain?”

“I know what Sean is, I’ve always known. You were a fool about him, I never was,” she said angrily. “Now, what do you say? You have something I want, I have something you want.” 

“I can’t teach you how to think,” Juliet warned. “I can explain what I did but...”

“You’re as bad as him,” Lena snorted. “You think you’re so brilliant. Special.”

“I know I’m not.” 

"I guess you'll just have to try real hard to teach me,"Lena stood. “You sure you want him to live? I hear being a widow is quite nice.”

“What if Sean comes down here?” Juliet asked, ignoring Lena's last question. Magnum began to understand what they were talking about, what the plan seemed to be. What Lena had that Juliet wanted was _him._ Or more specifically his freedom.

“He won’t. Have Magnum leave his jacket and act like he’s dead and he won’t check. I usually handle the contacts with the fixers and removal services so I can cover for it once we leave here.”

“What about later? I’m not going to help Sean. I’m going to kill him.”

Lena paused for a long few moments. “If you wait until after the job is done, I’ll might just help you with that.”

“You know how to contact Ivan for the sale?”

“I do.”

“Alright.”

“So you stay, Magnum can leave, go to hospital,” Lena stated the terms of the agreement. “You work with me, with Sean, until the time is right. Then we put him down like the dog he is.”

“Yes,” Juliet agreed as Magnum decided he was done playing dead. 

Because no way was he leaving this basement without her.


	43. Knives Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been kind of bad at responding to comments lately (but I read them all when they pop up in my email and they make me so happy and motivate me a lot!) because we've been redoing our kitchen and I've been spending much less time on the computer!
> 
> Also, I didn't do a last spell/grammar/general check which I normally do before posting because I'm just too tired! Sorry.

###  Knives Out

* * *

Mangum POV

* * *

“I’m not leaving without you,” he said as she came to help him up.

She hugged him and whispered close to his ear. “ _ Of course not. Just play along. _ ”

“You have to,” she said, louder, for Lena’s benefit.

“But-”

“You stay here, you die,” she said, very matter of factly. Not a lie to sell the idea that only he was leaving, but truth. “Don’t make me have to imagine life without you because I’m not sure I can.”

That bit had to be for Lena. Only he wanted it to be true. He wanted to be that important to her.

“Gods, spare me the setamentaties,” Lena said with a sigh. 

“I have to help him up the stairs,” Juliet said and Magnum made sure to lean extra heavy on her. Much more than he needed to.

“Fine,” Lena said and beckoned them up with her gun. 

Magnum wondered what her plan was as they moved up towards the light. Lena seemed to Magnum perhaps more misguided than evil, but she still wasn’t on their side. That made her the enemy.

“That’s far enough. He goes the rest of the way on his own,” Lena said.

Juliet let go of him, making sure to lean him against the wall. 

He took a few more steps and Lena back out of the doorway. She wanted him out of the way he guessed. Trouble was he wasn’t sure how she was actually planning on taking Lena down.

It was only when he actually got out of the basement, blinking at the morning sun light coming into the kitchen, he realized; there was no plan.

She’d tricked him. 

To make him go.

Lena slamming the basement door shut, before Juliet could emerge, solidified it.

“Well then soldier boy,” Lena said, “I’m a woman of my word. You’re free to go.”

He blinked at her, still adjusting to the new reality. The reality he’d been too tired, too concussed, too trusting, to see. Then he realized something.

Maybe Higgy hadn’t acted because that wasn’t the plan. The odds had been too bad. Narrow space, stairs. Tactical nightmare.

The kitchen on the other hand was not.

Still acting much more hurt than he was, he stumbled over to the sink, and the knife set right next to it.

He might not want Lena dead but she was the enemy. He’d do what he needed to make sure he didn’t leave this place alone.

* * *

Higgins POV

* * *

The door slid open to reveal Magnum. He looked no worse for wear and even though she had seen him not three minutes earlier, the sounds of a struggle on the other side of the door had made her worried. The quiet that came after; panicked.

Because what if he got hurt trying to save her? Worse than being shot hurt; what if he died? 

She’d have lost the one person she… cared about. Worse the world would have lost him. The best person she’d known in maybe her whole life. 

No, not maybe.

“That was quick,” she said, to not let him know the past few minutes had been the longest of her life.

“Turns out even trained assassins panic when you throw knives at them,” Magnum said cheerfully, offering her his hand.

“You killed her?” Juliet asked as she let him help her out of the basement even though there was absolutely no need. Soon as she was out of the basement she saw he hadn’t killed Lena, instead he’d knocked her out and found some rope and tied her to the fridge.

“Nope, knives made her drop her gun and I knocked her out,” he said. “I almost didn’t because she looked so much like you. That really is creepy. Now let’s go.”

Juliet hesitated for a moment not sure why. Not because Lena reminded Juliet of, well, herself. No, it had everything to do with Sean. She wouldn’t want anyone left tied up to deal with his wrath. “Sean is going to be angry with her. He might really hurt her.”

He put a hand on her shoulder. “Nothing we can do. Unless you want to take her? She didn’t sound like she wanted to leave with us though.”

“She’ll tell herself what Sean can give her, the training, the resources, winning his game, it’s worth whatever,” she said, “She’ll tell herself she could leave and she’s choosing to stay so it’s her choice to let him do what he does to her.” 

He didn’t ask the follow-up questions to this statement. Didn’t ask if she was only talking about Lena. Probably because he knew she wasn’t, somehow. 

She felt angry that he did though.

That he understood Sean better than she had in all the years she’d known him, in just the short time he’d known him. She really had been a fool when it came to him and that ate at her. 

Failure, even old failure, was not something she bore easily.

“We should,” she said but didn’t move. 

“How about this,” he said and went and grabbed a pair of scissors, put them next to Lena’s feet. “She can cut herself free when she wakes up and leave if she wants.”

“Okay,” she said even though she knew how that would turn out. 

Then she let Magnum lead her out of the house.

“What do you think we should do next?” he asked, apparently more focused on the here and now than her. “Call the police and get Sean arrested when he’s breaking into the lab?”

“We could try,” she said as she stopped next to the porsche. They’d need to ditch it but for now it would get them away from this place. “I left a backdoor into Sean’s system with the trojan. We should be able to figure out where he’s going from what he searches, flights he books. Unless Lena tells him about it.”

“Okay, what do you need?” he said, handing her the key to the car. “Best you drive, just to be safe.”

“My computer should still be at our hotel, that’s all I need,” she said as he put a hand to his head. ”First we need to get you to hospital.”

He nodded and got in the passenger seat. 

“Higgy,” he asked as she started the car. “Was I the plan? Or did you really think I’d leave you down there once I realized you had no plan?”

She said nothing as she thought about that. She’d hoped he might be able to take Lena. But she hadn’t been sure how hurt he actually was. 

If the hours in the basement she’d slept had made him perk up or made him worse. She’d figured if he’d been too hurt to try to overpower Lena, he’d go. Find a way to come back for her once he’d gotten patched up. 

She’d been prepared for either possibility.

“It’s true for me,” he said, leaning his head back against the headrest, not looking at her. 

“What is?”

“I can’t imagine my life without you, my future,” he said softly as the car picked up speed, “I haven’t in a long while. That’s why I suggested we’d get married in the first place. I couldn’t lose you. I  _ can’t _ lose you.”


	44. Take That Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry.”
> 
> “I don’t want you to be sorry,” he said because he wasn’t blaming her. He was trying to make her face a truth she wanted to run from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story is set in a somewhat magical nonexistent period of time before the corona becomes a full-blown thing in Europe (and while Trump was kind of still saying ‘corona? what corona?’ over in the US). Before the full-on quarantine was a thing for people traveling and we were all just 'oh it's not that bad'. (Was there ever such a time? IDK I've decided there was just because else it won’t work for the plot.)

## Take That Back

Juliet felt itchy as they left the hospital several hours later. There had been people in hazmat suits and so many questions, so many people and noise. The quiet and dark of the basement had made the contrast somehow exhausting.

Magnum had been sent off to have a CT scan, there had been crying and upset people everywhere. Even a teary-eyed nurse. People were dying -and not only from the normal things that brought people to emergency rooms - but from a virus no one knew how to stop.

Someone had taken her aside to swab to dab at the cut...bite, on her lip. It hadn’t stung. It should have but she had felt very little at all, as if all the emotions had just left her. She’d gotten Magnum to the hospital. He hadn’t died.

He could have. 

Her fault. 

He had picked the wrong person to have his back. She’d frozen and Sean had nearly killed him. Then after he’d gone and told her...told her he couldn’t see a future without her.

What was she supposed to do with that?

With the fact that she couldn’t see one without him either. But she knew, knew you didn’t have to be able to imagine it. The future just happened when the person you loved died. All you could do was live it one day at a time. Simply not imaging or feeling anything.

She’d done it with Richard.

She never wanted to do it again.

“Promise me something,” he said as they got out of the cab that had taken them back to their hotel. 

“What?” she asked, taking the hand he was offering her.

“Promise me we can’t let Sean get away with anything from that lab he’s breaking into. Something worse than this corona thing,” he said as he led them through the lobby.

“You think that’s his plan? Not the RX42?” she asked, glad for the distraction from thinking of feelings.

“Lena did say they were going to make a lot of money.” He shrugged. “My bet is they’ll steal everything they can from that level 5 lab if they get in and sell it to the highest bidder.”

“You’re right,” she agreed.

“So we do whatever it takes,” he said as they entered the elevator. “Okay? We can’t let anything distract us.”

She waited for something more. For the blame she knew she deserved. She had failed when she came face to face with Sean. She hadn’t protected him, hadn’t even been able to protect herself. 

“Next time you can’t freeze,” he said softly, reaching up to touch the faint bruises she knew were on her neck. “He could have killed you.”

 _Me?_ she wanted to shout. _He shot you._ But she also didn’t want to discuss it. She wanted to forget it. She wanted to just never think about Sean or the feelings he’d caused last tonight, the helpless, the memories that had resurfaced, and the terror of it all coming back seconds before he’d shot Magnum.

* * *

Magnum POV

* * *

“Come on,” he said once they reached their hotel room. He didn’t really want to have this conversation, he was tired and achy but he felt they needed to. “Talk to me.”

She shook her head.

“You froze.”

“Yes. And for that I’m sorry but it was really nothing. It was just...”

“Just because he was your mentor? Your old boyfriend?” he asked slightly sarcastically because they both knew that wasn’t the reason. And he was too tired to be gentle, too scared he wouldn’t bring this up once he’d slept and everything was back to _normal._

“Um ye-”

“Don’t lie to me Juliet,” he said, stopping her before she could. “We’re partners. We have each other's backs, Right? Whatever else, we always have that, don’t we?”

“Yes,” she agreed, sounding both relieved and like it was a great burden at once. He had no idea how, because the two emotions should have been opposites. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” he said because he wasn’t blaming her. He was trying to make her face a truth she wanted to run from.

“Sean and you, that was not a good thing,” Magnum stated. “When you talk to Lena then after when you said she wouldn’t leave even if he hurt her… that was you too.”

“It was complicated,” she evaded walking further into the room, away from him.

“No.” He shook his head. “That thing back there. I know what that was. That was a flashback of some sort. He caused it. Something he did to you, in the past, caused it.”

“He was training me.”

“Was he still training you a week ago? Twelve hours ago?” he asked and even though he was sad and upset - for her - it came out almost angrily. That wasn’t what he wanted. Or was it? 

He was angry. Angry with Sean most of all, but maybe her too, for not telling him about it. 

“He put that bruise on your shoulder last week, didn’t he? And you didn’t tell me about it.”

“What does it matter?” she said, turning back to him. “It wouldn’t have changed the plan, what we needed to do!”

“It damned well should have.”

“Sean being a little over-eager when he first saw me again should have made us not try to use him to take down a dangerous arms dealer? Do you even hear yourself Magnum? Didn’t you break your wrist during SEAL training?” she demanded. “How is that different?”

“My instructors weren’t my lovers! They didn’t do unauthorized special training that involved locking me in root cellars, shooting me and whatever else Sean did to you! And my instructors most certainly weren’t sadists who enjoy hurting me!”

“Are you sure?” she snapped, eyes blazing. This line of questioning was pushing her buttons, scratching at half-healed festering wounds she didn’t even want him to know she had. Maybe one she tried to tell herself she didn’t have.

“I’m pissing you off enough you want to smack me huh?” he said with a grin before taking a breath. 

“At the very least!”

“Yet, I know you won’t hit me. Just like you know I’d never do that to you. Right?”

“Of course not,” she agreed, the steam suddenly seeming to go out of her.

“But you were sure Sean would hurt Lena because he was angry she’d let us escape,” Magnum concluded. “Which even without hearing Lena call him a sadist tells me he hurt you because he could, for reasons other than to train you.”

“You want to make into one of your damsels in distress Magnum?” she asked, sounding weary. “I’m not.”

“I know that,” he said. “But you being brilliant and kickass and Sean being an abusive jerk aren’t mutually exclusive. Both can be true.”

“Abusive?” she said, turning away from him. “That’s not what it was.”

He moved around her to force her to face him. “What then? What do you want to call it?”

“It was just what it was,” she said.

“I think you just don’t want to call it what it was, because that means you lose your agency,” he said even though he knew he was playing with fire. “You’d rather pretend it was normal than face the fact that you were a victim-” 

“Take that back,” she said venomously. 

“Whatever he did to you, it doesn't change who you are,” he assured her. “But you do need to face it. You froze when you fought him. If that happens again that could be dangerous.” 

It could get her killed and that was the most terrifying part of this. Why he had to push this even though he hated making her talk about something she clearly wanted to forget.

“I know,” she yelled. “Don’t you think I know that? I know it’s my fault you got shot and fell,” she said, angrily turning away again before she continued in a much smaller voice. “I thought you died and I knew it was _my_ _fault_.” 

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, swallowing because she sounded so defeated.

“It was,” she said, so sure it broke his heart even more. That hadn’t been what he wanted this to go. He didn’t want her guilt. He wanted her facing her demons. 

“It wasn’t,” he insisted. “But something made you stop fighting. If that happen again-”

“It won’t. I just, I just remembered...”

“Remembered what?” he prodded, going over to put his hands on her shoulders.

“Just how helpless he made me feel,” she said, turning in his arms. Her eyes were distant as she quickly reached up to brush her lips against his. 

As much as he wanted to just help her feel and forget, kiss her and make love to her until nothing else existed, he didn’t think that would help her mental state in the long run. She needed to realize and process Sean, so next time she could face him and kick his evil ass to hell. 

“And you hate feeling helpless,” he said, pulling back a little. He knew her well enough to know that helplessness was probably the worst feeling for her, worse than fear and grief even.

She nodded then she was quiet for a bit, kept her eyes on something behind him. But she stayed in his arms. “I think it’s more than that...Sean was my mentor. More than anything else, I trusted him. Worse, I never saw anything he did to me as anything but training. Something to help me. Not until… three years ago.”

“Three years ago?” he said, then realized, remembering.

“That was when I realized he actually enjoyed it,” she said. “I think. I don’t even fully remember it...”

Three years ago when she’d cheated on Richard. Or that was what he’d heard, but she’d said something else that day in her bedroom when she _explained_ it. It hadn’t really registered then as she told him, but it came back now.

_“I didn’t mean for it, I didn’t wa-”_

_I didn’t want it to happen._

That was what she’d stopped herself from saying, from telling him. He had been so sure what she was sharing with him that night; a story about how bad she’d felt because she’d betrayed Richard by sleeping with Sean.

Only it had been Sean that betrayed _her_ that night. 

That revelation made a new wave of anger hit him, this time with himself. Because he should have listened better. Listened, deduced and taken action. A few bullets and a shallow grave sounded about right. They could have been enjoying an actual honeymoon right this moment instead.

“I saw everything in a different light after that,” she said swallowing. “I understood I had trusted him and his methods for years and years when I really shouldn’t have. I realized Richard shouldn’t have trusted me. That I probably didn’t trust him, why else would I not have told him afterward? And then when he died, I saw what a hypocrite that made me, that I was the untrustworthy one.”

That was a big ball of string, so many things tied together, all wrapped up and tangled together. Magnum wasn’t even sure how to attempt to help her sort through it, how to make it better. He knew he’d try. He’d try damn hard.

“But you told me,” he said, suddenly realizing and marveling at that, especially because of what she’d just admitted.

She didn’t trust anyone, not even herself. Or she hadn’t, for a long time. But she had told him. She had trusted him. Maybe just making sure she never had reason to regret that was the best way to help her.

“Yes,” she agreed, finally meeting his eyes again. “I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for now, I think this is the closest we can get to Higgy admitting how much she cares about him - by letting him know she trusts him.
> 
> Also, I don’t know about this chapter. I kind of like it but I re-worked a lot of it, I just felt they needed to have it out a bit more about Sean and Juliet’s messed up past but it was originally going to be in a soft way while Higgy played nurse... but that just didn’t come out, so this is what you got.


	45. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling a bit bummed out today and while writing normally can help today I just felt a bit uninspired (and that's why it's so short too) but I hope that didn't bleed through too much even if I think it did.

### Breakfast

“Now don’t go thinking we're going to make this a habbit,” she said as she handed him a plate with Belgian waffles (or maybe since they were in Belgium they were just waffles?) topped with chocolate and powdered sugar and on the side, several pieces of bacon. “I still don’t think eating in bed a good idea but...”

“Is that your way of saying if I want breakfast in bed on our anniversary I’ll have to get shot again?” he said and she nearly dropped her own plate as he did. 

Magnum wondered if it was the _anniversary_ or the _getting shot again_ part that had gotten to her.

“Just eat your food, you must be starving,” she said as she sat down next to him on the other side of the bed, leaning against the headboard. She was wearing an open hotel bathrobe over a black tank top and panties. 

Maybe it was his concussion but it seemed almost like a dream that she was sitting there so relaxed and undressed next to him. Even more because he could reach out and touch her if he wanted to.

“Starving,” he repeated, trying to judge just how painful making love with a gunshot wound would be. Maybe if they were creative, some interesting positions could be thought up... 

“You’ve been asleep for almost twenty-four hours.”

“I have?” That information drew his attention from the possibilities that had been creeping into his brain. He didn’t feel like he’d been asleep that long. In fact, if he hadn’t seen the bleak winter morning sun outside he’d say it was just a few hours since they got back to the hotel. 

“Yes, And while you were snoozing away I’ve been trying to track down Sean,” she said with a sigh. “But whatever he did at the lab didn’t raise any red flags and the anonymous warning I sent didn’t do anything. I’ve been tracking possible flights but I don’t know where he’s going or under what name.”

Something scratched at the back of Magnum’s mind, something he should remember.

The trouble with things you _should_ remember but didn’t was the fact that, well, you _didn’t_. Obviously. His head began to hurt a little and he ate a few bites of waffle, hoping the sugar might kickstart his memmory.

He realized she’d gone quiet too. And she wasn’t eating her waffle, instead, she was staring off into space. She looked tense like she was thinking of something unpleasant.

“Higgy?” he asked gently, trailing his fingers down her arm. Because he could do that now.

“Just thinking,” she said, with a small, _it’s nothing only it is,_ shrug.

“Bad thoughts? Sean?” He felt like there was little else that should cause that look.

“No. Not Sean.” She shook her head. “And don’t worry. While you slept I thought about what happened with Sean some more. Why I froze. I think I just wasn’t ready to kill him at that moment.”

“And you are now?”

“Yes,” she said. “When he- when I thought you were dead, I wanted nothing as much as to...”

“Put a bullet in him.”

“To say the least.” She smiled despite the grimness of the conversation. He didn’t smile back. He tried to. Wanted to. But fact was he wanted the same thing. 

It worried him that he did. 

It had been a long time since he felt like the answer actually was to kill someone. 

“We have to find him first,” he said, taking a bite of his breakfast. 

“I’m trying, but I think maybe some good old fashion PI work will be needed, knocking on doors and all that,” she said, taking a bite of waffle too and somehow managed to get powdered sugar on her nose. It was adorable.

“What?” she asked, then swiped at her face, spreading the powder to her cheek.

“Nothing,” he told her cheerfully. “You look nice.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I thought your concussion wasn’t supposed to be that bad?”

“What?” he said, grinning. “I can’t tell you, you look nice?”

“Magnum, I have not brushed my hair in a day, I have bruises all over and no make-up on,” she said, and as did rolled her eyes. Looking closer he did notice her hair looked a tad bit more messy than normal. But even with that and the bruises and no make-up, she looked beautiful. “In fact when I opened the door to pay the bill I believe the man who brought our food had to stop himself from running away in a fright-”

“Bill,” he interrupted, the thing he hadn’t been able to remember coming back to him. “Higgy, check my coat pocket. I took a bill from Sean’s house. Could you use that to track him down?”


	46. A Really Bad Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m going to need a wig.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very to the point, trying to move the story to where it needs to go. I'm still not 100% feeling this, and am kind of working on another fic (as I'm neck-deep in the many possibilities of "Robin doesn't save the day and Higgy goes back to London"). It's of all things a x-mas fic (I know it's May and yet for some reason, I'm sitting in my apartment listening to Christmas carols) Magnum comes to London after they've been separated for 7 months to celebrate Christmas with Higgy. But I've gotta finish this before I post anything new, I promised myself!

### A Really Bad Plan

“Russia, it had to be Russia,” she muttered as she threw clothes into her suitcase. 

Both the muttering and the _untidy_ packing made Mangum feel like he was witnessing her having some sort of minor mental break down. It almost made him sorry his bill clue had worked out.

Out of all the stupid things that might have gotten them a lead it was an alias on an internet bill. It was unbelievable. 

Then again serial killers had been caught because they failed to pay their parking tickets. Sometimes the universe just gave you a win.

Only he wasn’t sure Russia was a win. Especially not when he thought a bit more about it. 

“We’re going to Russia?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said and sighed. “I’m going to need a wig.”

“A wig?”

“Russia has an extensive CCTV network,” she said by way of explanation as she began pulling clothes back out of the suitcase again. “I’ve no doubt I’m still on the FSB’s blacklists. Glasses and a wig should be enough though, it’s been years. Besides, they use a 30 point system compared to the US where we use 80 points for facial rec.” 

He nodded, even though he had no idea what that meant. “Right.”

“On the upside, the cybergulag system is notoriously easy to hack,” she said taking a calming breath. “ With the built-in facial recognition software we should be able to track Sean’s movements since we now have his flight information.”

Sitting up in bed, testing how his side felt - better - he frowned. “So the plan is to go to Russia, where you’re wanted for espionage and I’m guessing treason, I don’t speak the language, with no weapons or support to track down Sean before he can do a heist on a level 5 lab? While most of Europe is preparing to shut down their borders due to this Corona thing?”

“Sounds about right,” she said grimly. “Except I think we’ll actually have to find a way to get into the lab so I can remove him and whoever else he added from the system or else their security will be severely compromised moving forward.”

“Great, should we stop by and say hi to Putin? Maybe steal some Russian factory eggs?” He suggested sarcastically. 

“Fabergé.”

“What?”

“They’re Fabergé eggs,” she said distractedly. “And if we could, getting our hands on the RX42 wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

“The plastic thing?” He frowned trying to remember what Sean had said about it but coming up rather blank.

“Yes,” she said and he detected a hint of excitement in her voice as she continued. “I read about it while you were sleeping. It’s a big deal. It’s apparently a bacteria that eats plastic. One of the biggest problems with plastic is the fact that it never truly degrades because there are no organisms that consume it. Except they found some, if they could help it adapt to more settings it could change the world. Help save the oceans for sure, and a lot of land animals and people, from dying and getting sick too.” 

“I doubt that’s what Russia wants to do with it,” he said, not wanting to be a killjoy but sure that the Russian Federation wasn’t about to start saving the world just for karma points. 

She nodded.

“Unfortunately you’re right I imagine they’re doing their utmost to try to somehow weaponize it. Plastic is used in everything from guns to cars to keep our food fresh, if there was some way to actually target it and have the bacteria degrade it quickly enough, it could be used to bring down the West.”

“Great, so now we’re saving the world? Again?”

She smiled. “It would appear so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I really like the last few lines I'm counting them getting a nuke back, saving spies and butting in with organized crime as saving the world, okay? Also, they've both totally helped save the world in their previous professions as soldier and spy.


	47.  Maybe The Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A birthday gift and some feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m kind of extra happy today, not only is Sweden having Fake Eurovision tonight (because we can’t go a year without it), I also got a call about a job and have an interview on Monday and my friend who knows how Magnum PI obsessed I am, was all “there are like no cases of Corona in Hawaii anymore so filming shouldn't be postponed all that much so stop freaking” so yay! Good for Hawaii (and us)!

###  Maybe The Best 

“You got a black one? I thought we agreed on pink,” he said as he held up the package that held the (disappointing) wig she’d gotten.

“We did, in fact, not agree on pink,” she said, snatching the wig back and sticking it in her tote. “Now, what was this errand you just had run?” 

She looked expectantly at the bag he had put in his lap as he folded himself into the rental Toyota’s passenger seat (with only some - okay maybe _a lot_ \- of pain from his wound) a minute earlier.

He had actually meant to go wig shopping with her because that sounded awesome but he’d seen something in a store window they were passing and suggested they meet back at the car.

“I got you something,” he said, handing the bag over to her, “Call it a late birthday gift.”

She took it, hesitantly, as if she was worried it might explode. “A birthday gift?”

“Remember? We talked about it in the...”

She nodded and looked at the bag, seeming unsure. She glanced at him. “Do I open it now?”

He grinned. “Unless you plan on saving it for Christmas.”

She shook her head then swallowed. And Magnum realized that probably this was her first birthday gift in a long time. He hadn’t known and betted no one else on Hawaii had either, so that was three birthdays for sure. Richard must have known right?

Still, he felt a little foolish then because this was just a spur of the moment kind of gift. Because they’d talked about it down in the basement and then he’d seen it in the window. It had seemed like fate. But probably he should have thought more about it.

Probably she wouldn’t even like it. It wasn’t _real,_ maybe it was even plastic. He had to stomp down a weird urge to take the gift back before she could open it.

Which she was taking forever to do. Like, much longer than it had taken the lady in the store to wrap it.

Finally, she got the plain box out of the wrapping paper, then opened the box to take out the bowl.

“It’s one of those Kintsugi bowls,” he explained even though it was obvious. “I mean it’s meant to be. It’s just a tourist thing.”

She said nothing just kind of looked at the bowl. He had no idea what she was thinking, which was rare. Normally these days he could read her so well. Now he couldn’t and he didn’t like it. 

“I thought it was pretty,” he added lamely.

“It is,“ she said, still focused on the little cracked grey bowl with the fake gold painted on the glue seams.

“So you like it?”

She nodded but her expression was still that strange one he couldn’t read. 

“Hey, I know, why don’t you buy a pink wig for my birthday,” he said, feeling stupid and wanting to make her forget all about the bowl. He’d find her something better. “It’s coming up in a few months!”

“You would look rather dashing in a pink wig,” she teased, finally looking up from his failed gift.

“Very funny, I’m just saying, you, wearing nothing but a pink wig? That’d be hard to beat,” he said, totally honest even if her eye roll made him sure she didn’t believe him

* * *

Juliet

* * *

Later as he slept, she watched the shadows of their hotel unable to close her eyes for more than a minute. Insomnia was not unusual for her but since moving in with him the days before the wedding she’d slept so surprisingly well. Even in a basement worried and under threat she’d slept. But not now.

Not when she was in a safe place, next to the person she trusted more than herself. She really was a cracked bowl.

Slipping out of the bed she went to her suitcase, where she’d put her birthday gift. She took the box she’d and took it back to bed.

He moved as she sat back down, mumbled something and then went back to sleep.

She took the bowl out and admired it in the low light that the half-closed curtains provided.

It wasn’t very heavy, some sort of plaster rather than real ceramic. The gold paint’s shimmer came off a little as she ran her finger along a seam.

She wasn’t sure if Magnum saw just how perfect this bowl represented her. Because she wasn’t fine china that had been patched with gold as he’d suggested in the basement. As lovely as the sentiment had been.

She was like this bowl. Fake ceramic that had been created for the sole purpose of being cracked, broken and then put back together - not with gold but glue and paint. Fake shimmer put on top to make it appeal. 

But then he’d seen it, understood it wasn’t quite right but not cared and decided it deserved a home, love, anyways. Just like her.

Putting it to the bedside table she laid on her side and stared at it. It was maybe the best gift she’d ever been given. It was a stupid thing to admit, to realize. 

It was also wrong. It wasn't really about the bowl.

Turning she stared at him, his regular slow breathing. 

Thomas Magnum was none of the things she’d ever thought she wanted or needed. They were as mismatched as two people could be, in so many ways. Not to mention they were fake married, as easy as it was to pretend it was real. There was unlikely to be a happy ending. Not that she even believed in such things. 

It somehow didn’t seem to matter. The chemical process in her brain, destiny, fate, too many adrenalin filled situations share or maybe just a choice to let herself care a tiny bit many months ago. Whatever had caused it… she couldn’t change it now. 

“I love you,” she whispered while he slept on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not really sure what this chapter is because the last one was so “move the plot” and this one is just not, yet it’s a big deal for Juliet so it's important too. And I'm feeling a bit... IDK...overly dramatic at the moment so I think maybe I made Juliet overly dramatic too?  
> Also, while I have the end kind of written, now I have some different ideas for how to get it there than my original plan and now I'm a little torn about where we go next...


	48. Unexpected Assistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, I'm just making Robin is like the riched writer in the world a thing. So yeah now he has houses everywhere not just Hawaii...because I need a house for later chapters.

###  Unexpected Assistance

“You know Robin has an apartment here in St. Petersburg,” Magnum said, as he drove the Toyota from the airport. “I’ve seen pictures. It’s pretty nice.”

“If we’re here long enough to need a place to stay that will be helpful,” she said, tapping away at her computer, then checking the tablet she had plugged into it. “I’m hoping we won’t be.”

“You’re rocking those glasses,” he said, smiling at her in her wig and dorky glasses.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No,” he assured her, even if he maybe was just a little. 

“I found Sean and Lena,” she said, flipping her tablet over so he could see. “They’re meeting with someone. Running him now to see if I can get an ID.”

“Okay? Where to?”

She gave him the address, which hardly helped because; Russian streets or locations? Yeah, confusing. Still, his new burner phone’s GPS app helped him out and told him he was at least going the right way.

“They’re moving,” Juliet said as they got closer to their destination. “I’ve lost them. I’ll try to back-track them to their safe house while the system searches for them.”

Magnum pulled over at a cafe noting a car he’d seen twice pass them. That worried him a little but it had driven past them. If Higgins “disguise” hadn’t worked and they had the Russian secret police descending on them...well he didn’t want to think about that.

“I’m going to get us something to eat,” he told her. 

“Mmm,” she said, nodding, even though he wasn’t sure she was hearing him. She paused her typing for a bit toying with her ring - her engagement ring - biting her lip as she pondered what to do next. 

He found that somehow extremely endearing and realized she’d been doing that a lot. The ring thing. And he liked it, maybe more than he should.

She still seemed as focused on her computer when he returned a few minutes later with a number of something called chebureki, which was pie like fried puff pastry with meat fillings. He’d already had half of one and they were pretty nice.

“You know I was expecting everything to be terrible here but these are good.” He held a pie out for her. “Want one?”

“No thank you. Meet Christo Woriki,” she said, turning the screen to show the ID the contact Sean and Lena had been meeting with. “Explosive experts. His rap sheet is a mile long, from all over the place. Willing to make basically anything blow up if you pay the right price.”

“Sean meeting with a bomb maker?” Magnum groaned. “Great.”

“Not the word I’d use.”

“A nefarious spy and a bomb maker? That’s almost like that weird historical novel of Robin's,” Magnum said, after swallowing a bite of food. “Golden Tradewinds right? With that hot Beatrice woman who turned out to be the pirate’s granddaughter.”

“No, Beatrice is from  _ Echoes of Ecstasy _ , the one who gets kidnapped by the evil clockmaker's wife,” she corrected, softening it with a smile. “You’re thinking of Tamara. She's the pirate.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure-” she started but her phone rang. Odd, because only Magnum and Kumu had the number to their new burners.

“Kumu?” Juliet answered, putting the phone on speaker.

“Not quite,” a familiar voice said. “Your assistant was good enough to give me your number though. You need to get out of there. Right now. FSB are about two minutes out and you got two agents on you.”

“What?”

“Did you really think Sean wouldn’t have a plan for if you followed us? He still has contacts in the Russian government from back when he was working undercover there,” Lena said as Magnum and Juliet exchanged worried looks. “As much as I don’t like you, I think you’d be utterly wasted in a Russian prison.”

"Why would you help us?" Juliet asked, looking around to spot whatever agents might be watching them. He did the same.

"So you'll remember even after you broke our deal, I still helped you. I think we could make a good team Juliet. Just think about it."

The call ended.

“You believe her?” Magnum said as he looked out the window. 

“Maybe.”

“There was a car. I wasn’t sure but I think it might have followed us from the airport.”

“Okay. I think we might have to assume the worst. There is a subway over there.” She pointed. “We get out. And we go. I’ll take the backpack-” 

“I can carry the backpack-”

“I go it.” She shook her head. “You just focus on not getting shot again.” 

He considered arguing but there was no time for that, besides, this wasn’t high school. If she wanted to carry her own bag he wasn’t going to fight her for it.

She quickly but gently put the tablet and computer in the backpack, carefully moving the box with her bowl to the top. He wasn’t sure why she’d put it in there rather than her suitcase. He supposed maybe the possibility of this happening was the reason?

Did that mean she liked it enough to not want to lose it? Or had  she just been worried it would get wrecked by baggage handling?

“Wait,” she said, eyes catching on something. “Don’t look. That’s Dimitir.”

Magnum looked. A guy with an ugly scar -that was visible even across the street - running down his face stared back at him with a wolfish smile.

“Kick you when you’re down, broken ribs, punctured your lung, Dimitri?” Magnum clarified. “Let me guess? That scar? You gave it to him.”

“I might have,” she said. “We should go.”

They did, exiting the car and running for the subway entrance like their lives depended on it. Which he supposed, they kind of did.

“Hurry,” she said, pushing him before her down the stairs. 

Right about then, the bullets started flying. 

People ducked, he felt more than saw Juliet stumble and fall behind him but as he turned back to her she was already getting up. She shouted something in Russian - whatever it was clearly made the people both going in and out of the station freak out and try to escape out of the underground.

He jumped the turnstile, his stitches pulling painfully and then offered his hand to help her, expecting her to turn it down, but she didn’t. She let him help her.

“Are you okay?”

“Train’s coming,” she said and she was right. He could hear it too. “We need to be on it.”

So once more they ran down the subway. It weirdly reminded Magnum of his dream, the ones where they'd been children running up a subway. 

They made it onto the train with seconds to spare, the FSB agents lost in the rush of people exiting the train and station. Magnum almost wished Mr. Asshole of the Decade Dimitri could have made it on because he kind of wanted to punch the guy. A lot.

They managed to find seats and Magnum winced as they sat. He wondered if he’d torn some stitches. To his greater concern, she grimaced as well, when she took the backpack off.

“What’s wrong?” Because something clearly was.

“I’m fine,” she said but stuck her finger through a hole in the backpack. Then she quickly opened it and pulled out the computer. “The computer took the bullet. I’m probably going to have a pretty bruise though.” 

He swallowed, suddenly damned glad he hadn’t fought harder to help her with her bag. Because if she hadn’t been wearing that backpack, that bullet would have hit  _ her _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we’re pretending Russia wasn’t as up to code on the whole “stay home” at the start of the Pandemic as the rest of the world and everyone was riding the subway. I’m not sure if this is true or not but yeah...


	49. Golden Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can’t you bibbidi-bobbidi-boo it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of plot + Magnum attempting to be romantic...or something.

### Golden Eyes

“You sure we’ll be safe here?” Magnum asked as the door to Robin’s apartment finally clicked open - having no key he’d been forced to pick the lock - and they could escape off the icy street. 

“Should be,” she said as they both hurried inside.

“Anywhere that’s not out there is good with me,” Magnum said, blowing on his cold hands. Winter in Russia was not pleasant.

Debating about whether to unzip his jacket or not he took in the hallway. High ceilings, modern, lots of glass. Not Robin’s style at all. In fact, it seemed like the kind of place that might have a mirror on the bedroom ceiling. Which Magnum thought might just be interesting - at least for one night. 

Juliet got rid of both the scarf she’d wrapped around her face to both keep warm and to hide from the CCTV cameras and the wig and glasses, plucking pins from her hair to release her curls as she walked into the apartment. 

He followed, watching her wince as she put her backpack next to the kitchen island.

“Take your top off,” he said as she went to check the sink, turning the tap on. No water came out.

“You want to christen Robin’s kitchen?” she asked, eyebrow raised as she turned around. “Water is off.”

“That’s where your mind went?” he said, making a mock-shocked expression. “I want to check your back.”

“My back is fine,” she said, twisting the tap back to off as he stepped up close to her.

“Then you won’t mind me taking a look,” he said.

Sighing, she turned around and let him slide her top up. Her skin was hot against his cold fingers and little goosebumps trailed along as he touched her.

He found where the bullet would have impacted. Right lung. The skin was red and as he gently brushed it she jumped.

“Sorry,” he said. “This could have killed you.”

“That’s the job,” she said.

“How about after this we try not to have it be?” he suggested.

She turned around. “You want to quit being a PI?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I do want to quit having people shoot at us.”

“I wouldn't be against that,” she said, putting her hand over the wound in his side before looking up at him.

He noted the little gold flecks in her eyes again, wondering how he could have known her so long and only noticed them this week.

“So we agree? No more shooting or almost getting killed.”

“We’ll only take boring cases,” she said, tilting her head. “Missing cat and cheating bastards who don’t have guns.”

Nodding he found himself wishing he was some kind of poet and could combine pretty words to describe her eyes, all of her, to the world, or a painter who could capture her like this -and a hundred more ways. But he wasn’t.

He was just a sailor turned PI. And for the first time, he really wondered if that was enough. She was extraordinary. He wasn’t. 

“Except the cat case did lead you to a murder. And so did the last cheater we went after,” she said thoughtfully. “Perhaps we’re just doomed to find trouble wherever we go. If I believed in fate I might be tempted to think so.”

“Mmm,” he said, too busy being enchanted by her eyes to listen fully.

“Magnum?” she said, waving a hand in front of his face. “Earth to-”

“I’m going to learn paint,” he declared.

“You’re going to what?” she sounded incredulous. 

“Learn to paint.”

She reached up and put a hand on his forehead. “You don’t have a fever. Must be the concussion. Because I've seen you draw stick figures.”

“You want to know what I’m going to paint?” he asked, smiling as he moved her hand off his head and laced their fingers together.

“Ferraris?” she suggested. “Nudes of Jin?”

“You’re terrible at being romantic,” he said before leaning down to touch his forehead to hers. 

“What does painting have to do with romance?” she asked as he ran his hand through her hair, getting tangled up in the curls.

“Maybe nothing,” he mumbled, “Maybe everything.”

For a long moment, she just looked into his eyes. And suddenly he didn’t really feel like he needed to learn to paint, because the way she was looking at him right then… well it was enough to make him feel like he was the only person in the world.

The only one that mattered at least.

Her phone beeped making her jerk away from him. 

He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing, but he was pretty sure a few more seconds of that he would have started promising her the moon and admitting his undying love for her. 

Not the time for that.

“Just Kumu making sure we’re okay,” she reported, having checked her phone. “I should check how badly damaged the computer is, see if I can somehow salvage it.”

She couldn’t.

The computer was apparently dead. Or as close to dead a computer could be, seeing as it technically hadn’t ever been alive.

“Can’t you bibbidi-bobbidi-boo it?” he suggested helplessly as she pushed the cracked open computer to the side.

“I’m not a witch Magnum,” she declared, clearly annoyed. With the situation rather than him though.

“Fairy godmother.”

She gave him a _not amused_ look.“I’ve hacked the cybergulag system on the tablet..." She picked it up. "...but the RAM it isn’t enough to run the search effectively.” 

“Okay? How do we get more?”

“You install it. But I don’t have any, I can’t use the ones from the big computer because the motherboard is-”

“Can’t we just get more? Buy it?”

She hesitated. “We could but I’m not sure my disguise would hold up very long and most stores that would sell computer parts are bound to have CCTV cameras near or in them.”

“So I’ll go,” he said, figuring that was the smart move.

“No.” She grabbed his wrist, nails digging into his skin for a moment before she loosened her grip. “If they realized you were with me they’ll be tracking you too. It’s too dangerous.”

"It's-"

"Don't say it's fine. This is Russia. If you get caught-"

"I won't. I promise."

"You can't-"

“I got the perfect disguise in mind. Where did you put your wig?" he asked. She opened and closed her mouth, wanting to say _something_ but apparently not finding the right words. “What? You don’t think I can pull off long hair?”


	50. Now You See Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet worries about Magnum - but maybe she should be worrying more about herself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know Migggy fluff and feels are on everyone's wish list (and there are some feels in here for sure) but this is more angst-ish and MORE trouble for our babies than anything else. Sorry. But, finally, a showdown is not far off. I'm not sure on the exact number of chapters left but 10-15 chapters should do it!
> 
> Also remember this is taking place sometime in the late winter/early spring (I even think I mention it's January and in-story only like a week or two have passed) so snow makes a lot of sense...especially in Russia (though I heard it was usually warm this years so IDK).

### Now You See Me 

“How do I look?”

“Ridiculous,” she told him but he’d seen her checking him out so she wasn’t totally against the long-haired look.

“I’m totally rocking it.” He gave a little hair flip. 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re enjoying this way too much. You have to be careful and try not don’t stand out any more than you already do.“

“Relax,” he said as he got his jacket. Because worrying never did anyone any good. And she was worried. He could tell.

“It’s too bad you don’t speak any useful languages. Can you do a Baltic accent? So you don’t seem so American?”

“Oui, Oui,” he joked, even though he didn't speak more than high school french.

“That’s not helpful,” she said sternly. But the fact that she was trying to give him advice because she was worried for him...

Well, that was actually almost nice. Her caring, even though he knew she did, when she showed it, it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Which he absolutely needed because it had just started snowing outside.

Still on a more serious note. “I’ll text your burner if anything feels off.”

She nodded.

“If I’m being followed I won’t come back here. I’ll circle around until it’s safe,” he continued. “So if I’m gone longer than you think, don’t worry.”

“I-I,” she began, tucking his scarf into place. “It should be me going. If you have any trouble finding the things on my list, buy a new computer with-”

“The right amount of RAM and the other stuff you said. I remember. It’ll be fine. Besides,” he said, because even though her worry was sweet it wasn’t necessary. Or he hoped it wasn’t. “I’m not totally helpless.”

“I-I….I know that. It’s just...you’re the best man I know,” she said, stepping in close and kissing his cheek quickly. Moving back, she looked up almost shyly at him. He was about to ask who she was and what she’d done with the real Juliet Higgins when she snarkily added, “So do try not to die.”

* * *

Juliet

* * *

Waiting for Magnum to return made her remember why she hated being in love. It consumed you in such a terrible unproductive way, that made you feel like being apart might kill you.

 _It won’t kill you_ , she told herself. _It might kill him though._

No, Magnum was competent and just as good at improvising as her. Better because all her clever tricks came from training while Magnum was just naturally good at thinking outside of the box, at understanding people and the world, at using the things he had to his advantage.

She didn’t have that. She had training and a fondness for **solvable** puzzles. People had never seemed like she could ever solve them, truly understand them while coding and separating truth and lies, right and wrong were easier. Even if working with Magnum had her questioning right and wrong more often than not.

Or maybe just how she saw right and wrong.

Perhaps that was part of being in love too, part of why she disliked it so. The fact that it made you have to change, see things in a different way.

Worse, it made you _want_ to.

Change and distraction. Two things she didn’t enjoy or want. Yet, without them, she wondered where she’d be. Without Magnum pushing her buttons, challenging and involving her in everything, would she still be the Juliet that preferred hiding at Robin’s Nest mourning and missing something years gone?

She desperately wished she could talk to Kumu about the whole Magnum thing. The fake marriage, her feelings for him. The future.

At the same time she wasn’t sure she needed to talk to anyone because while some of it was confusing it was also terribly clear. She loved him. She wanted to tell him she couldn’t see a future without him either. Wanted to plan things for years to come.

She marveled at that because she had never made long-term plans. Even with Richard their plans had only gone as far as to leave MI6 and get married. Richard had wanted to make other plans, look at houses, practical cars, joked about buying baby name books and even researching pension funds, but she’d postponed. She’d always said _one more mission, once we’re out we can do that._

But today she and Magnum had both agreed, as joking as it had been, that they wanted something more than just dodging bullets. She wondered if they would maybe stay married even when Robin finally resurfaced and her work visa got renewed. She could keep living at the guest house with him. They could go to London once the world was a little less crazy. Look at houses they wouldn’t buy because neither one of them wanted to leave Robin’s Nest. Even debate baby names...maybe. 

If everything worked out.

That was a sobering thought. Because when had things ever worked out for Juliet Higgins? 

To distract herself from the fact that Magnum was out there risking his life she turned the TV on. The news. That was just what she needed. A shoot out, a political arrested for something to do with money, a fire caused by a gas line explosion…

Or a bomb?

Had Sean already put his plan in motion? Juliet had hoped he was scouting out the location of the lab for a few days and make preparation so that she and Magnum would have time to find it and think of a way to foil Sean’s plan and/or get into the lab before him and revoke his security clearance.

But gas lines did occasionally leak and could lead to explosions. It just wasn’t an everyday occurrence.

Grabbing her tablet she manually redirected the search to cameras close to the location of the bomb and set the somewhat overworked to search through the footage of cameras around there for a match for Sean.

The loading bar ticked slowly from 1% to 2% to 3%, making her feel like she'd traveled back to the dawn of the computer age.

“Hey,” a voice said, making her jump and nearly drop the tablet.

Looking up she saw none other than Lena standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She had a gun in hand but it wasn't pointed at Juliet but rather the floor. 

“How did you get in here?” she quickly looked around, about to reach for the nearest drawer in the hopes of finding knives. Because even if Lena had helped them today that didn’t mean she was a friend.

“Don’t worry,” the other woman said. “Sean doesn't know you’re here. He just sent out that alert to his FSB contact earlier and thought that would be it. It probably would have been if I hadn’t helped.”

Juliet nodded, agreeing that they’d have been in big trouble if they hadn’t managed to get out of there before the scouting party's support team had arrived. That didn’t explain what Lena was doing there though.

“Think about that Juliet.” Lena took a few steps into the room and Juliet turned the screen of her tablet screen off, not wanting Lena to see what she was attempting to do. “If not for me you’d have landed your husband back in another prison. I read his file, you know. The unredacted one. I don’t think he’d have done well being locked up again.”

Juliet hadn’t read Magnum’s unredacted file. In fact she hadn’t even read the redacted one even though she had hacked into the Navy’s records and found it when he first came to Robin’s Nest. But in the end she had deleted it without even a peek because it had just felt wrong.

“Your point?” she asked, not quite sure why Lena was here, if she wasn’t with Sean or why she was talking about Magnum.

“So you owe me.” Lena pulled out a pair of zip cuffs. “You said you’d help me take Sean down once this was all over. That was the bargain we made. Magnum’s life for your help.”

“I remember,” Juliet said and part of her was almost glad for the fact that Lena wanted her help. Wanted to team up. The three of them against Sean, that might actually work.

“I held up my end. I let him go. Magnum broke our deal, knocked me out.” Lena tossed the zip cuffs to her. “Now you’re going to be the distraction while I kill Sean.”

“You want to team up, sure.” Juliet didn’t touch the cuffs. “We can do that. Magnum should be back-”

“No,” she shook her head. “I don’t trust him. Besides, moment he saw him, Sean would shoot him in the head. Don't want that, do you?"

“He might do that to me too,” Juliet pointed out. Last time Sean and her had fought, when she thought he’d killed Magnum, he had must have seen in her eyes that she’d fight him until one of them were dead. And if he was sending the FSB after her… well, he must have known there was no way she was making it out of a Russian black site. Not when she was operating with only Magnum as her backup. Sean was no longer prioritizing keeping her alive.

Lena smiled. “Sean kill you? No. He’s obsessed with you. He managed not to be when you disappeared from the spy game. But as soon as he realized there was a way back, a way to draw you in, that’s all he’s been thinking about.”

“Sean has more important things to think about than me,” Juliet said even though she didn’t really doubt Lena’s words. There was a new edge to Sean, probably from whatever caused him to fall from MI6’s good graces. Or maybe being a free agent meant he no longer had to hide it.

“Yeah?” Lena used her left hand and pulled her sweater up slightly to reveal her stomach which had shallow slashes running across it. 

It took Juliet a second to realize that the cuts spelled out _Juliet_. 

“He was very unhappy I let you and Magnum escape. It was after he was done with this I knew he was going to kill me. He’d never do something like this, something that would scar if he planned to keep me alive.”

“I’m sorry,” Juliet said, shook. Because for all the mock torture, the strange training Sean had done to her, he’d never straight up just cut her or hurt her without some kind of reason or pretext. And he’d certainly never cut her up like that. Written, cut, someone else's name on her. She felt vaguely sick, thinking Lena would go the rest of her life with Juliet's name carved into her.

“I don’t want your sympathy,” Lena scoffed and dropped her top down. “I want your help. I need it. You're his weak point.”

“Magnum-”

“No,” she said firmly. “You leave here, with me, right now. Or I'll sell the FSB your information myself. Not just yours but his too. You two arriving together is enough to make him a possible foreign agent, especially with his training. And even if you both managed to get out of Russia, you still wouldn’t be safe in Hawaii because they’d have your real names. Recent pictures. An address. Your local contacts.”

“We can do this together-”

“Decide Juliet. Come with me or get ready to spend the rest of your life on the run,” Lena tapped the kitchen island with her gun. “Or at least the next decade or two, they’d probably get tired of chasing you then. But no more Hawaii, Magnum never sees his SEAL friends again. Or - you and me we finally take Sean down. That’s what you want right? You’ll be safe. Magnum will be safe. He won't be risking his life for you again. Isn't that a good thing?”

Juliet wanted to believe Lena wouldn’t leak the information she had and that if she did, Juliet infiltration into the FSB more than ten years earlier wouldn’t be enough for them to actually hunt her and Magnum around the world, she knew that was just wishful thinking. The spy world had a long memory. No spy agency would be able to let go having been infiltrated by an enemy.

“Okay,” Juliet said. Magnum would do it for her. He'd run straight into danger to protect her. Today her best option was to do that for him. Them. “I’ll call him and-”

“No. I don’t want him coming after us, playing hero,” she said. “He’ll ruin it.”

Juliet shook her head. Magnum would be an asset. 

“If I just leave he will come after me,” Juliet argued. “If we give him a role, help with the escape-”

“Write him a note,” she said, nodding to a pad and paper on the counter. “Short and sweet. Tell him you found Sean and you’re going on your own. That you don't need his help.”

Juliet debated. Magnum would know something was wrong. Wouldn't he? He’d know she wouldn’t go after Sean without her. Right?

Only, suddenly she wasn’t so sure. She knew she loved him, trusted him, but whenever she tried to put those feelings into words she hadn’t been able to.

What if he didn't know? What if he thought she’d actually gone on her own. She needed some sort of way to make sure he understood.

“Now,” Lena said, looking towards the window. 

Juliet debated if she could wait Lena out. But Magnum wasn't going to be back for least an hour. Lena had a gun and was keeping far enough away that she’d easily get off a shot before Juliet could tackle her if she tried to overpower her. Smart. Not Lena's first rodeo.

She could let Lena leave. Take her chances. Maybe Lena wouldn’t release her and Magnum’s information. But could she risk that? As much as she’d hate being undercover again, she could survive anywhere in the world, living under a fake name, a fake identity. She'd doen it enough times. Especially if she and Magnum were together, it might not even be hard at all. But Magnum, Rick and TC… they needed him and he needed them.

And Hawaii was their home.

She picked up the pen. Wrote what Lena had said.

“Let me see?” the other woman said when Juliet was done. Juliet pushed the short letter across the island. Lena scanned it. “White Knight?” 

“It’s a pet name,” Juliet said praying Lena wouldn’t think anything of it.

“Right,” she said, folding the note and putting it on the counter. “Unless he’s a complete fool, he’ll take the hint and just wait for you here. Or maybe he’ll just leave Russia without you. Men can be fickle like that, when you hurt their feelings.”

Lena clearly didn’t know Magnum but Juliet shrugged. “Maybe.”

“The cuffs,” she said. “I don’t really trust you and Sean will be suspicious if you’re not restrained.”

Juliet wasn’t sure she liked this plan of Lena’s. In fact she could think of a dozen better ways to get Sean than to use her as bait. 

“Put them on.”

Juliet put the cuffs on. Because suddenly she wasn’t even sure Lena wouldn’t just shoot her. There was something in her eyes, like a wounded animal, finally having gotten the upper hand on her hunter. 

“Wait,” Lena said, looking down at Juliet’s cuffed hands. “Leave your engagement ring.” 

Juliet hesitated. She hadn’t taken the ring off since she first put it on. She hoped maybe she never would have to. 

“Do it.”

Swallowing hard she took the ring off, trusting Magnum would understand her message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this was not how the original version was going to go. It was kind of less dramatic at this point - just Miggy + Lena teaming up with much threatening going on - and then a very over the top “end” (or at least to me it was overkill... there was a big bomb and "ohh no Magnum’s dead" moment, and then another thing where Higgy sort of got actually got kidnapped in a different way but not really) and I just decided against it in favor of this. 
> 
> So even if Juliet agreeing to go with Lena might not 100% make sense, it's what's happening. Because Drama and because I'm tired of Sean and not being in Hawaii. That's what this new plot is, well, it's mostly. 
> 
> Just me trying to wrap up Sean’s storyline a bit quicker so I can go write part two of this series. Where we’d get some more of the fun fake married/ real married bits (that we didn’t get in the show) such as green card interview prepping and all-around Miggy just figuring out their relationship when they’re not under (literal) fire back on our favorite island.


	51. Trust but Verify

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the "Trust by Verify" quote because it's so freaking contradictory! It might not exactly fit but I wanted to use it so it's what I'm calling the chapter!
> 
> As for the whole "worse than Hannah" I'm feeling like even as he was in love with/planning on marrying Hannah, he was still spending most of his time with his boys doing missions together with them rather than her while now he's working and spending most of his time with Higgy.
> 
> Sorry, it's a little short.

### Trust but Verify

When Magnum got back he knew something was wrong. He wasn’t sure what it was, maybe the quiet, the fact that she didn’t call out a _‘in here’ o_ r complain he’d taken forever? 

“Higgy? Juliet?” he called as he closed the door and pulled off the wig and his hat in one motion. 

He quickly checked the living room but he somehow already knew she wasn’t there. 

No sign of a struggle. Everything in its place.

Except her.

FSB or Sean? Both were equally bad.

Feeling his heart rate pick up he quickly walked to the kitchen... 

-and noticed it immediately.

His mother’s ring, placed on top of a folded piece of paper. He gently pushed the ring to the side, unfolded the slip of paper, feeling vaguely sick.

_White Knight_

_I’m sorry. I’m finishing this on my own._

_Juliet_ _Beatrice_ _Higgins_

She’d found Sean? And gone to face him on her own?

That made no sense.

He threw the letter down on the counter and thought about the _you’re the best man I know_ from earlier. He’d figured it for her being worried but - maybe it had been a goodbye?

Could she have been planning to leave even as he thought she was finally starting to let her feelings show, trust him with them?

Not just leave but leave without telling him?

To protect him maybe? 

He wanted to believe that... but she knew his wound was healing. He would have been fine. And even wounded he’d still have had her back. 

He always had her back. 

She knew that. 

She _did_. 

She trusted him. Didn’t she? He’d felt so sure about that just a minute ago.

But...the letter - it was her handwriting. 

And the ring. 

The ring hurt the most. Almost worse than Hannah, though that didn’t make sense. Hannah had betrayed him in a much worse way...but she hadn’t been what Juliet was. Hadn’t been the person he loved and trusted above everyone else. She was his partner. 

Taking a breath he shook his head and grabbed the letter again.

Re-read it.

Frowned because it truly didn’t make sense. 

Mostly because Juliet **did** trust him. 

She might have left to protect him, insisted she could do it on her own, that it was her fault and she should handle it. He could see that. He never would have let her go alone but he could have seen her possibly try to make that case.

But she wouldn’t have done it like this.

Not without talking to him face to face. Not without making sure he’d gotten back safe. Not without telling him where she was going. Or what her plan was.

_White Knight_

_I’m sorry. I’m finishing this on my own._

_Juliet_ _Beatrice_ _Higgins_

When had she ever called him _White Knight?_ And _Beatrice_ , was that even her middle name? He didn't think so. He’d never heard her use it - and why underline the Beatrice part?

Then it clicked. White Knight meant Robin’s books. 

_Beatrice_...Beatrice was the pirate woman. No- wait, Juliet had corrected him. Beatrice was-

Oh. 

Yeah. That made a lot more sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Magnum might know deep inside that Higgy would never leave like this but he's been burned a few times so he's allowed to have a few seconds of doubt okay.


	52. 300 Seconds and Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a little like none of this makes sense and yet somehow maybe it does? IDK, I wanted Juliet to have a chance to confront Sean with words rather than fists and knives and this is how it came out. 
> 
> Also, sorry no spell check or real re-reads for this, just wanted to post it and move on because it's mostly Sean being evil and I want to get to the Miggy bits!

###  300 Seconds and Counting

“I’m assuming you have some sort of plan?” Juliet asked as they finally drove up to a metal gate and Lena punched in a code to make a gate slide open. It was about time because even with the heating on Juliet felt icy in only her knitted jumper. Her jacket was still back at Robin's.

“I do,” Lena said as she began driving up towards the large vila. “I’m going to hand you over to Sean. He feels all warm and fuzzy and like he won, with you all tied up at his mercy. You do remember how he  _ likes _ that?”

“I never let him tie me up,” Juliet said between clenched teeth, even though she supposed that wasn’t entirely true.

“If you say so,” Lena said, her eyes gleaming. “I’ll come back when he’s all distracted and put a few bullets in him. Or a knife in his back. Depending on what feels right.”

“That’s your plan, just use me as bait?” Juliet asked, disbelieving. She’d figured there was at least something more to it. “Shouldn’t we just go for him as a team-”

She shook her head. “He’ll see that coming a mile away. But we should coordinate. Five minutes after I leave the room, I’ll come back. Make sure you got him focused on you then. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Unless I’m dead,” Juliet said, only half-joking. But she was going to attempt to be positive. She would get through this.

She had to get back to Magnum. They were things to tell him. A future to plan. Which meant she had to survive this.

As Lena parked the car in front of the front steps of the house’s double doors, Juliet debated just punching Lena. There was no gun in her hand and now they were standing still - Lena had made sure to wear her seatbelt but telling Juliet to leave hers, to make sure any crash that stunned Lena was sure to have done much worse to Juliet - so if she was going to attempt to get free it was now.

Only Lena was on her side...sort of. In a twisted way, they were bound together by having been Sean’s...students? Seconds? Partners? Playthings? Maybe they’d just been _Sean’s_ , period.

She hated that idea and she wanted tonight to end with Sean dead and her and Lena free at least of his corporeal self. The little mind games and ways he’d forever shaped and changed them, Juliet wasn’t sure could be destroyed, or who she’d be if his teachings could be erased.

“Lena,” Juliet said after they’d both gotten out. Darkness had fallen and the snow was falling, making everything seem clean and peaceful. The opposite of the turmoil she felt inside. “If this goes wrong and you get out of here and I don’t, will you tell Magnum-”

“No, don’t leave some stupid last message with me,” she said, sliding her gun out. “If this goes wrong, I’ll call and tell him your dead and what went down. That’s all I’m promising you.”

“Okay,” Juliet agreed. Lena didn’t do sentiments and since she was thinking positive she had to believe this would all work out. She’d get to tell Magnum she loved him herself.

She would.

“Here,” Lena said, handing over a pocket knife, “Put this in your pocket. I don’t think he’ll search you. If you get the chance, cut yourself free and try to be helpful when I come in. 5 minutes after I leave.”

Juliet took the small knife. Not at all much of a weapon. But it would cut through the zip-ties when the time was right. 

“This too,” Lena said as Juliet had tucked the knife in her jeans’ pocket and held out something else. It was a small capsule. Red. “Fake blood. Bite it. Have some dribble down your chin. He won’t buy you coming completely without a fight.”

* * *

Sean

* * *

“I brought you a gift,” Lena said, making Sean look up from what the good doctor was showing him in the microscope. 

She’d gone, claiming she had an 'errand' to run. He’d been worried something was amiss. Not because he cared about her so much but the possibility of her compromising his plan was a concern. 

But here she was. And she’d certainly brought a gift.

Lena pushed Juliet Higgins onto the room and then getting her in the back of knees sending her crashing to the floor where she barely caught herself with her cuffed hands.

“I didn’t tell you to do that,” he said, making sure he sounded frustrated even though he actually felt close to vibrating with exciment. 

Lena had the audacity to smile. “I thought you like my initiative.”

Juliet looked up at him, blood on the side of her mouth and murder in her eyes. He normally loved that look but found it a bit unsettling turned on him. 

“What about Mr. Magnum?” 

“I don’t know,” Lena said with a shrug. “I’ll go check the garage, make sure Tristan’s got everything packed and ready to go.”

Sean heard her depart rather than saw it because he was too busy looking at Juliet. 

“What is she doing here?” the doctor asked. “I thought she wasn’t part of the-”

He held up a hand to silence the older man. “Shhh. Keep working. We only have an hour before we leave.”

One hour. Not a lot of time. Especially since he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to bring Juliet. It would all depend on her mindset and what he could accomplish in that time.

“Hello Luv,” he said, smiling as he kneeled down in front of her sprawled form. “Let’s get you off the floor.”

He jerked her up by the cuffs, and expected her to struggle more than she did. Instead she let him pull her halfway across the room, away from the medical equipment the doctor had set up.

“I knew there was a reason I picked this room,” he said and nodded towards a hook in the ceiling. “This was the kitchen a long time ago. They had hooks like this for hanging and butchering animals.”

He enjoyed the way that little bit of information made her eyes widen just a hint with fear. She really was rusty, her emotions all over the place.

As he hooked her cuffed wrists he lifted her an inch of the ground to get her on, but was glad to see her tiptoes did reach the floor. He knew her shoulder had been dislocated a number of times - two of which he’d been the direct cause of - and for now he wanted to talk, rather than inflict as much pain as that would have.

He wanted her to show some regret for betraying him. He wanted her to say sorry. To ask to start over.

He doubted he’d get his wish but he was torn - for the first time in a long time - about what he’d do when she failed to come around. 

Would he kill her? He’d never wanted her dead. She was his perfect student, the only one close to matching him at anything. He wanted to think he could still have that.

“You’re being very quiet Luv,” he said, sliding a knife from his boot. 

“I have nothing to say to you,” she spat.

Oh he liked that. It meant she was angry. Angry meant feelings. Feelings for him. Those were the only ones he’d ever encouraged her to have. She still loved him, even if she was having a hard time admitting it to herself. That was a good start.

* * *

Juliet

* * *

_ 132 seconds. _

“We never lacked for things to talk about before,” Sean said pleasantly as he collected some of the fake blood from her lip on his knife.

“You want to talk?” she asked, trying to keep counting as she felt her anger and fear rise up. “Let’s talk about how you shot my husband.”

“He deserved it,” Sean said. “Besides, he didn’t die so it hardly counts. I’ve shot you twice and we’re still on the same team.”

“You make me sick,” she said, not even going to attempt to pretend anymore. _184 seconds._ “Literally sick. I can feel the bile rising in my throat.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “You never had a weak stomach.”

Then his whole face changed, the amusement leaving it and he trailed the knife down to her lower abdomen. “You haven’t gone and done something foolish now have you Juliet? Because we agreed a long time ago you’d make a terrible mother.”

“Screw you Sean,” she said but she felt the knife pierce her skin, she added, “I’m not bloody pregnant. If I was I wouldn’t be running around Russia.”

He looked at her for a long moment, debating with himself. 

“I suppose not Luv,” he said, pulling the knife out, which hurt more than when he actually cut into her. “Besides, nothing to be done here, if you were.”

“I’m not sure I’m- I’m,” the doctor said, stepping away from microscopes. The older man came a bit closer. Looking at Juliet and then Sean “-comfortable with this.”

“You’re not comfortable with what?”

“Perhaps you could be doing what it is you plan to do with Ms. Higgins once we’ve left Russia, yes?” he suggested, quite boldly for such an old man. 

“Are you any closer to figuring out how to duplicate it?” Sean asked, ignoring the doctor’s words.

“Not yet,” the doctor said.

“Then get back to it,” Sean said and the man did.

That was something she’d always admired in Sean. He could just make people do what he told them. When he’d been team leader during various assignments they’d worked that had always been the thing she remembered. How calm he was, how sure he was and how he made everyone else feel like if they just did what he said, it would all work out. But she realized he'd always commanded by either pure charisma or fear rather than respect and mutual agreement on how to handle a situation. 

_ 288 seconds. _

That meant 12 seconds to go.

Juliet listened for Lena as she tried to think of just what would distract Sean.

“Magnum is going to come find me,” she told him. “He’d going to defeat you and-"

“Since when do you need a man to do your hurting for you,” Sean said mockingly. “I remember quite well how you ended quite a few lives all on your own.”

“Because you were  _ there _ ,” she almost shouted, feeling the pain in her shoulder and she rocked forward a little. “Whispering in my ear. You were always whispering in my ear. You were always hurting me in the name of training me, twisting everything up. I trusted you! I trusted you to teach me and you fucked me up. You abused me for years, raped me, made me a liar, made me unable to trust anyone, made me doubt everything, y-ou-you”

“I hear Mr. Magnum’s been putting things in your head,” he said calmly as she blinked back tears.

She hadn’t meant to have such an outburst. She’d only meant to distract him. But saying all of it, all the things she’d wanted him to understand he’d done to her, felt strangely like a weight had been lifted. While at the same time it changed nothing.

Because he was feeling no remorse as he looked at her. Only a sort of mix between disgust and pity.

The sound of a garage door sliding open and then a heavy car - van? - accelerating on gravel, caught both her and Sean’s attention. The doctor’s too.

“What in the-” Sean turned away from her and quickly went to the window.

Juliet could see only the vague light of a set of highlights.

300 seconds had come and gone long ago.

Lena wasn’t coming to kill Sean. If Juliet wasn’t mistaken, she’d just left with most of whatever they’d stolen from the lab. 

Juliet was on her own, her only possible weapon a pocket knife in her pocket she had no way of reaching. She accidentally licked the strange fake blood and suddenly wondered at the carved letters in Lena’s stomach.

Had those been real or theater make-up? Something to make Juliet extra sympathetic? Or had Sean really cut her like that? Juliet found herself suddenly not thinking so. Or if he was going to cut anyone’s name into Lena's body, Juliet suspected it would have been his own. She really hoped, suddenly, it wasn’t true. 

Because if he had done that to Lena, chances were he wouldn’t hesitate to do it to her. And even though there for sure were more painful ways to be tortured she wasn’t sure if she survived, she’d be able to deal with having Sean’s name forever on her body.

“I don’t believe it,” Sean said, then just stared out the window for a few seconds more. Then he pulled his phone out, probably to try Lena.

No answer.

He chuckled to himself. Juliet had no idea what to make of that. But she had bigger problems.

The doctor. He’d seemed at least like he wouldn’t be happy to see Sean torture her, or whatever he planned to do with her. 

Sean leaned against the wall next to the window as Juliet tried to make eye contact with the good doctor.

“Perhaps...” Sean said after a long minute. “Perhaps...”

There was something eerily calm in his oh so blue eyes as he looked at her. Something determined she’d not seen in his eyes before. Not directed at her at least.

Knife still in hand he walked up behind the doctor and Juliet was sure he was about to ask to look into the elderly man’s microscope.

Instead he stabbed the knife into his neck. Once. Twice.

The blood spurted over the samples and vials on the table. Further across the floor, almost reaching her. The doctor jerked and she heard the blood bubble as air escaped too.

It took him almost thirty seconds to stop moving.

While not the first time she’d ever seen Sean casual murder someone it had been long enough that she felt shocked and frozen for a minute. For even though she’d seen violence and even death and wounds over the past few years working with Magnum… this was different.

This was killing an unarmed, unprepared old man.

“Don’t worry Luv,” he said. “I got something more pleasant for you.”

He wiped the knife on the doctor’s coat, then tucked it back in his boot. Then he went into his jacket’s inside pocket and came out with a kit which he opened to reveal a vial and a needle.

“Fentanyl with something a little extra mixed in,” he said as he filled the syringe from the vial. “I meant it for the good doctor. He was addicted for several years. Figured it would mean fewer questions asked if he died from an overdose. But the two of you here both dead here might work just as well.”

“You don’t want to kill me Sean,” she said as he tapped the syringe. To get rid of air bubbles - ironic since that was meant to make sure you didn’t kill the patient - and then walked over to her.

“You’re right,” he said, that strange expression in his eyes. “But I always told you, didn’t I? Emotions make you weak. Lena just used my love for you-”

“Love?” she said, even as she prepared to push off the floor to attempt to kick the syringe out of his hand. “You don’t love me. You don’t even know what love is.”

“Perhaps not,” he agreed after a few seconds, stopping just out of range. “But I do care enough that I for some reason don’t want you to die choking on your own blood. I never wanted to hurt you more than I had to, you know.”

“Liar,” she said. “You enjoyed hurting me.”

“Maybe.” He smiled smugly. “Just a  _ little _ .”

She couldn’t believe she’d ever thought he loved her. Cared about her. Been good for her. Been her saviour. Then again, she thought maybe part of why it had felt less obvious had been the fact that it had been so long since she had been loved when she’d met Sean all those years ago.

Richard had helped her see the problem. Magnum and everything they’d been through, had helped her not just see but actually begin to face some of the things she’d thought she could just suppress, making her stronger in the end.

Magnum also loved her. Suddenly she was so very sure. He’d loved her for a long time, even when they were just friends. He was good and he loved her and the fact that she’d even gotten a taste of that seemed to make whatever she’d had to go through before that - and what was happening at that moment - seem inconsequential. 

“Goodbye Juliet,” Sean said and quickly took a step to the side and then forward and stuck the needle into her thigh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena and the theater blood I might go back and edit it out but I also like the idea of her actually tricking both Sean and Juliet on multiple levels. I'm not sure she is that smart though...


	53. A While Earlier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Magnum absolutely believed in honestly and sharing there were some things he hadn’t told Juliet...

### A While Earlier

While Magnum absolutely believed in honestly and sharing there were some things he hadn’t told Juliet. Like the fact that he knew her password. Actually password **s**. 

She must kind of know though, because she typed them in without ever attempting to hide her keystrokes or making him turn away. Probably since she was Juliet Higgins and her passwords seemed to be random combinations of letters, numbers and symbols she figured he wouldn’t pick up on them.

But he had. At least the ones she used on devices she had with her a lot.

Like her tablet.

When he’d first noticed it on the table in the kitchen his hopes hadn’t been high as she’d said she needed the RAM for the facial recognition software to run properly. But clearly she’d done something, input something, to make it track with only the smaller amount because she’d found Sean with it.

Using it he’d been able to follow the path of, well, Sean’s face and then license plate number of his car. Which had led him to where he was currently. 

A villa on a private lot, set far back from the street. Plenty of security, or at least on the gate.

He’d told the uber he’d taken - apparently, ubers were a thing even in Russia - to let him out a few streets down and he’d climbed the back fence of the property. He’d been worried he’d be attacked by a pair of dogs more serious than the Lads, but hadn’t and since no alarm had gone off he had thankfully managed to escape the other security measures too.

Definitely a perk of being a PI...it helped in honing your ninja powers.

Acutely aware of how unarmed and probably out-gunned he was, he decided his first course of action almost had to be to find someone with a weapon to ambush.

Only there were no guards. Maybe a remnant of Sean’s spy days? The more men, the more mercenaries, the more chance of drawing attention, of someone being bribed or threatened or attempting to steal what they were meant to protect. Secrecy over more layers of protection.

That might be a good plan for a spy but it also meant an enemy hunting for you have a much easier path to you.

Noting that the garage was attached he figured that was his best bet to get in. Picking the lock in the cold felt like it took unbearably long. He wished Juliet could have been there to tease him about it. But she would be again. Because Sean had taken her, not killed her. So that meant he could get her back. _Would_ get her back. That really was the only option. The only acceptable outcome.

Finally getting the lock open he crept in through the garage’s door into the two-car garage; there was a Fiat and a black van in there. Lena was moving things, sealed plastic boxes, into the van. Cases. Biohazard ones. 

Clearly whatever help she had given them earlier by warning them of the FSB coming didn’t mean her loyalties had switched, not if she was still planning on taking those drugs somewhere.

Quickly he slipped his phone out and dialed a number, then quickly tossed it into the car, onto the floor of the passenger seat.

It made a low _thunk_ but loud enough for Lena’s ear to perk up and for her to draw her gun. 

He held his hands up, stepping out of the shadows, closer to her. “I’m unarmed.”

“You?” she said, “How?”

He stopped as something clicked in the back of his mind. _Beatrice_. That had been the name Juliet signed the letter with. Beatrice was the character in Robin’s book that had been kidnapped - but not by the bad guy, but his wife. Lena not Sean, as Magnum had feared, had been the one to grab her.

“Beatrice isn’t Juliet’s middle name,” he said. “And she might not think I can use a computer. But I can.” Especially when the thing he was trying to access was already hacked and all he had to do was follow a car the system was already tracking.

“A code? I shouldn’t have made her write that note,” she said with a sigh. “But I thought we trusted one another. I’m too soft-hearted.”

He doubted anyone had ever accused her of that.

“Where is she?” 

“Where do you think?” she nodded towards the door that had to lead to the house. She and her gun was between him and it. 

“You handed her over to him?” he asked angrily, realizing he’d expected more. Expected her to help them. Probably stupid as the last time he’d seen her he’d knocked her out rather than keep the deal she’d made to let him- and him alone - go free. But he thought she would want to do the right thing in the end. Help them, take down Sean, make sure the drugs they'd stolen didn't end up on the black market. Foolish of him to think such a thing but he always hoped even supposed bad people could do the right thing given the opertunity.

“She is his only weakness, the only way I could think, to truly distract him,” she said with a shrug. “He won’t kill her.”

“She wanted to help you.” Because she had wanted that, maybe more than she’d even said or even admitted to herself. 

Lena smiled. “She did. She made me rich.” 

“That all you care about?”

Her smile widened, telling him, it, in fact, was all she cared about. Or she was trying very hard to convince herself it was.

“How about this Mr. Magnum; I won’t shoot you - you won’t make a fuss as I leave with the drugs and you get to go help your wife.”

“Deal,” Magnum said, trying not to look at the ‘biohazard’ labeled boxes and containers in the van he was about to let her drive off with. Because as much as he hated the idea of those things out in the world, he hated Sean and Juliet alone together for even a minute longer, more.

Besides, he had a plan, his cellphone was in the van. She wouldn't get away.

Lena hesitated for a moment, then reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of car keys she tossed at his feet. “Tristan’s body is in the trunk of the Fiat. He has a SIG Sauer in his holster. I’d suggest you get it, if you want any chance of finishing Sean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't like this chapter. Not really sure canon/current Magnum would ever let her drive away with those drugs, even shot, unarmed and with Higgy in danger but this I'm-gonna-save-my-wife-no-matter-what Magnum would. Still not sure. I was going to cut this chapter just have Magnum show up and save the day but... in the end I felt we needed the explanation, so yeah it is what it is. It's getting from point A to B, kinda important but ultimately not the most exciting chapter.
> 
> I guess Lena gets to at least give a little bit of 'help' (mostly because she does want Sean dead) and we know the drugs she took aren't just going disappear without anything tracking them which is important too.
> 
> Next chapter we're gettings some Sean ass-kicking which I know you've all been looking forward to...


	54. Knife. Gun. Trust. Oh Goodie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a somewhat high Juliet Higgins is the star of the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to be longer. There was a whole bit I cut out because fighting isn't that interesting to read (or maybe I'm not super good at writing it?) and even though I liked the idea of Sean getting pummelled a bit more I feel like Magnum would just be going for - knock out/death blow, help Higgy than anything else.

### Knife. Gun. Trust. Oh Goodie.

She’d never believed the whole ‘your life flashes before your eyes when you’re dying’ spiel and turns out she was right not to.

Because all she kept seeing was Sean. She wondered briefly if that meant he was her life, the only truly defining part of it was him. Was Sean. But that was wrong. 

There had been many people who shaped her; good and bad; her parents, even grandfather, Sean for sure, Richard and Ian and Magnum. They’d helped her become who she was, maybe who she was meant to be.

_You’re Juliet Higgins, everything you are and have done belongs to you._

Magnum had said that to her. And only as she was about to die did she feel, see that he was right.

“I will miss you,” Sean said and she wondered if he’d actually pushed the plunger of the syringe at all. He was still doing his evil monologue ‘I’m killing you because I love you’ thing after all. But there was a fluttering warm feeling begging to spread through her. Not good.

Sean smiled and she kicked out. She felt the kick connect him but it wasn’t nearly enough-

Then suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore.

She blinked. First she hoped she’d actually gotten in a good kick. But it was better than that.

Well, either it was better or she was hallucinating.

Magnum was there.

And he was doing a pretty good job of breaking Sean’s nose.

Oh goodie. She's always wanted to break his nose.

They struggled for a gun, Sean managing to send it clattering away. They rolled around and Magnum got in a hit then Sean seemed to remember he had, in fact, shot Magnum just days before and hit him right above his wound.

Since she wasn’t blacking out but rather felt like she’d chugged a dozen shots of Whiskey, pleasantly warm and like nothing was impossible, she decided she should do something. Something, she just felt a tad bit too groggy to think of just what that something might be.

_Get free?_

“You know I’m so very tired of you Mr. Magnum,” Sean said, attempting to wrap his hands around Magnum’s neck.

Get free sounded like a good start. Swallowing back an overwhelming desire to just scream at them or maybe for some reason giggle, she instead focused on stretching upwards to grab hold of the hook she hung from.

It should have hurt. She felt the zip ties digging into her wrists and the vaguest discomfort in her shoulder. But the drugs were working exceptionally well - blocking her pain.

Once she was holding herself up rather than hanging she flipped herself upside down, changing her weight distribution and getting the zip ties off the hook.

While totally illogical, the next step seemed to her brain, to be to simply; let go.

She fell hard, yet because she was somehow not expecting the impact, wondering if maybe she was floating, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. 

A spot on her back hurt though. She hoped nothing was broken.

Sean gave a shout and she looked up. Magnum had just stuck a knife into his leg.

She smiled. 

_Knife._

Sticking her bound hands into her pocket she fished out the pocket knife Lena had left her. 

“You know you shouldn’t give your enemy a weapon if you can help it,” Sean said to Magnum. (Or was he talking to Lena? Lena in the past? But she wasn't there...Juliet felt a wave of confusion hit her.) But she pushed her racing thoughts away as she worked on her restraints. 

Sean pulled the knife out of his leg just as the zip cuff’s on Juliet's wrists snapped free.

She felt a wave of nausea and dizziness along with another sudden desire to just grin like mad. Also even with the adrenaline coursing through her body, part of her really just wanted to close her eyes and lay back for a long nap.

But no.

Because now Sean had the k and Magnum was favoring his left side, to protect his possibly reopened gunshot wound. 

Gun.

She looked around for it. She stumbled as she tried to get up but turned it into a roll and then let her hands close around it. 

Gun.

She pulled the trigger. At the ceiling. Attention all shoppers. Woman with a gun on isle 4. 

Then she blinked because Magnum and Sean were no longer facing off with each other.

Rather, Sean, had the knife pressed to Magnum’s throat. The blood-covered knife.

“No,” she said as she pointed the gun at them. Because he’d stabbed the doctor. Stabbed him in the neck, just like that. She couldn’t let it happen.

For a moment, as everything blurred she was sure he’d done it again.

Only a clear thought, a truth, whispered, that it was Sean’s blood. The knife had been in his leg. That's where the blood had come from. Not Magnum's neck. He was still fine. For now.

“No way you make that shot, luv,” Sean said thickly, holding the knife to Magnum’s throat. “Not with a milligram of Fentanyl in your system.” 

For a moment there were seven heads, five of Sean, two of Magnum. It made her want to shoot all his heads.

“It’s okay,” Magnum said. “Take the shot.”

She shook her head. She couldn’t risk it. She couldn’t. Not when there was a chance she’d hit him. Only what was her other option? Let Sean drag Magnum out of there? Stab him in the neck as he had the doctor. 

None of those were acceptable outcomes. 

Then her vision was suddenly crystal clear and so was the look in his eyes. _I trust you._

Something she really needed to talk to him about. Clearly he was much too trusting - she was high as a kite and seeing double. She should not be encouraged to do anything with a gun for the next few hours. But still, she was Juliet Higgins. She was a great shot. Magnum trusted her. And she was no longer seeing double. She could do it.

Right? 

She took the shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So (according to the internet) 2 to 3 milligrams of Fentanyl can kill you. But I’m thinking Sean was savoring the moment and slowly injecting it, so maybe she got 1mg? I’m not at all clued into the medical stuff and I’m not actually sure you’d easily fit 4 mg of Fentanyl into one syringe even. And would the adrenaline be enough to give Higgy a minute or two before totally passing out? I don’t know, but it’s my story so that’s what’s happening.


	55. Because No Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should totally have waited and re-read this a few times before posting as I'm basically asleep as I'm writing this but here it is anyways.

### Because No Way

She swayed and dropped the gun, and that confirmed what the pain on the right side of his head already had told him. Her bullet had just missed him and then successfully hit its mark.

Sean was dead.

Magnum didn’t bother looking as he heard the other man’s body hit the floor. 

“Juliet,” he said, rushing forward as she unsteadily took a step towards him and almost fell.

He just barely caught her against him, helping to steady her and taking a moment to hold onto her. Hug her. Breathe her in. She was alive. Sean was dead. It was alright.

“Magnum?” she whispered as she pulled away from him. As she looked up at him with dilated pupils, he realized maybe _alright_ wasn’t the right word.

Drugged. Sean had drugged her. He’d said something along those lines but Magnum’s brain had been rattling around too much to fully hear him. Still, it was fairly obvious from the way she was moving, her dilated pupils and the almost tripping.

Her eyes moved across his face, drinking him in, then stopped as they got to his right side.

“I shot you,” she said and reached up to the side of his head by his ear.

It hurt when she touched him and her fingers came away bloody.

“I shot you,” she said again, rubbing the blood between her fingers. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he said, “Juliet, look at me. Do you know what Sean gave you? How much?”

“Too much,” she said, smiling oddly. “I can hear my blood rushing inside of me. Or maybe it’s your blood.”

That sounded very strange and not something she’d ever say. He quickly moved her over to the deks, as far from where the dead man that sat slumped over it they could get, setting her down in one of the chairs.

With her no longer at risk of falling, he gave himself a moment to drink her in. A moment to be relieved that she was alive, to be terrified by whatever Sean had drugged her with, to collect himself, to block out the pain in his gun-shot wound, the side of his head. 

To block out everything but what needed to happen next. It was a trick he’d learned during hell week and mastered during his time in Afghanistan. Just push through it and decide what comes next. What were the priorities? 

If Sean had given her an overdose of an opiate she needed a doctor, a hospital. But that wouldn’t be a good idea for a number of reasons, the FSB possibly tracking them being number one. Except she was still conscious. That felt like a good thing. As long as she was talking it couldn't be that bad, right?

Still, he needed to call Sophie or Rick. Someone who might have a contact in Russia that could provide medical assistance and a way for them to get out of the country. That was a plan, or at least the start of one.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, looking like she was about to get out of the chair. 

He stopped her and kneeled down so they were at the same height. “It’s alright, I’m fine.”

“Is Sean dead?” she asked, suddenly grabbing his jacket firmly. “Did I kill him?”

“You did,” he said, figuring maybe keeping her talking was a good start. “I’m going to call Sophie real quick and see if she can help us.”

“Wait.” She grabbed his arm. “Don't go. Don't leave."

"I'm not leaving," he assured her. Didn't she know by now that he'd never leave as long as she wanted him with her?

"Good," she said and nodded solemnly. "I don’t want to die alone.”

That broke his heart a little. “You're **not** going to die.”

Because no way. No way could that be happening. He wouldn't let it.

She looked so sad though, so suddenly defeated he had to say it again. “You’re not going to die.”

She nodded but he could tell, she didn’t believe him. That was almost more terrifying than anything else.

“Thomas?” 

“Yes?”

“Do you think maybe...I know I’m not the easiest person to lo- care about, but if you...if you...do you think you would have maybe liked to have stayed married to me?” she said, putting a hand on his cheek. “Just for a bit.”

“No, I don’t think so,” he teased even though he immediately wished he hadn’t because her eyes flashed with pain.

“Oh, well-”

“You’re a hard person to get to know, to get close to, but not to love,” he said, grabbing her hand when she pulled it away, putting both their hands over his heart. “And I’m not going to stay married to you _just for a bit._ I’m going to stay married to you. Period. For good. No end date.”

She blinked at him, swaying some more and he wasn’t sure just how much she was registering.

“That would be acceptable,” she said because clearly she couldn’t have him thinking he’d managed to render her speechless. Not even when she was high as a kite.

He grinned. “That’s good to hear. Not exactly the four little words I was hoping to hear.”

“Four little words?”

“ _I love you too_.”

“You didn’t actually say you loved me,” she said after blinking a few more times. “You said I wasn’t difficult to love. It’s not the same thing.”

“It’s basically the same thing,” he insisted in a soft whispered. 

“But I already told you that I love you.” She frowned her eyes half closing. “In Brussels.”

That was news to him. He wondered if he could have been in too much pain or shock when she told him, but he was sure if she had said anything remotely close to _I love you_ he’d have remembered. No matter what. In fact, no way could he have forgotten it. It would probably be the last thing he _ever_ forgot.

His confusion must be showing.

“After you gave me my bowl,” she whispered, leaning forward, head against his neck. “Perfect. So perfectly broken. Just like me.”

He was about to argue that she wasn’t broken, that she had in fact gotten angry at him for even _looking_ at her like she was. 

But before he could, her whole body relaxed - the drug’s full effect suddenly kicking in -and she fell forward, into his arms, unconscious.


	56. Your Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shortest chapter of them all. This seemed like a better and longer chapter in the outline but alas that is not how it turned out when I wrote it.  
> Also, you wonder, how does Magnum have Sophie’s phone number? Well, there was a scene that I decided not to include earlier when he calls Rick and gets Sophie instead...but since I thought it didn’t fit when I wrote it, we’re just going with he-has-her-number-because-the-plot-demands-it for a reason, okay?

### Your Move

“You’re still at the house?” Sophie asked after Magnum had finished telling her the situation - including the fact that Sophie should be able to track Lena and the stolen viruses via the twin to burner phone he was using.

“Yes, for now, if you have a contact with any kind of medical access there is a car I can use-” he said as he pressed his finger on Juliet’s neck again to make sure he could still get a pulse. 

“No,” she said.

“No?” he asked with a rising sense of panic as he counted the slowing beats of Juliet’s heart-beat. If Lena didn’t have a contact he’d have to get her to an actual ER. If the FSB came after them there, he’d find a way to handle it. As long she was alive they could figure it out.

“Sean was smug but he was careful too. I’m not sure he would have something that could possibly be used against him if he didn't have a counter to it,” she told him, tapping on a keyboard in the background. “Assuming it’s opiates, there is a drug called Naloxone. It blocks the effects of opiates and can counter the decreased breathing in someone overdosing.“

“Naloxone,” he repeated and gently put Juliet down so he could hurry back over to check Sean’s pockets. “Nothing.”

He moved away from the corpse and took in the medical equipment on the table, the slumped over man - the doctor he realized - and the blood covering most things.

Frowning he picked up a glass vial. “I found the RX42.” He pocketed the thing then noticed one thing of the table wasn’t covered in blood splatter. 

That meant Sean had put it there after he killed the doctor. It was a case with two vials.

One said Fentanyl. It was empty.

The other? Naloxone.

* * *

Juliet

* * *

“Your move,” Robin told her. They were playing chess at the kitchen island at his Russian apartment.

Next to the chess set on the table was also a small scuffed velvet box, the very same one that Magnum had given her once before, containing his mother’s engagement ring.

“I’m thinking,” she said. But she only had eyes for that box.

“How about the Knight?” Robin suggested. “I remember last time we plated you did have a distinct preference for the Knight.”

“Second only to the Queen in usefulness,” she said and moved her Knight to take one of Robin’s pawns even though her attention was still on the box.

“So you say,” he said with a smile, then nodded at the box.“You going to open it? I think it's yours.”

She hesitated for a second. “With you back, we don’t need to stay married. You can renew my work visa.”

“You never needed to get married. There were other options,” Robin pointed out. “But you did get married. And you realized you loved each other in the process. I’d say that was a pretty good outcome.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Did you plan it? Me and Magnum? The visa situation? Did you pretend to not get any of my emails?”

“Are you going to open the box? Put the ring back on?” he asked, smiling smugly. “You did ask him to stay married to you.”

“I did?” she asked, vaguely recalling it as he reminded her. “You’re right. I did. He said he wanted to.”

"You didn't think he would?"

She shook her head as she grabbed the box, not opening it. 

“Go on.”

“He’s not the person I thought I’d end up with,” she said softly. "We don't fit at all. Yet...we do." 

“I know.”

She opened the box.

“It’s empty.”

“Of course it is,” Robin said and his eyes twinkled as he began to fade away. “The ring is already on your finger.”

She looked and he was right.

There it was. Even as the kitchen and even her own body began to dissolve, everything fading into a soft beautiful white mist, it was there sparkling on her ring finger, giving her strength and focus even as the world threatened to become nothing.


	57. Perfectly Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You really are a hopeless romantic aren’t you?” she finally said but felt oddly like...well, like this moment, was maybe their actual wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think once I’ve finished this story I’m going to go back a few chapters, either to when Sean drugs Higgy or when Lena shows up to “team up”, re-write and go in a little bit of a different direction as I’m not 100% happy with how it ended up. (I guess that’s obvious in how short the chapters have been getting.) This next part is more fun though so I’m sticking with the “not quite right chapters” because I want to get to the elusive The End!

### Perfectly Happy

She wasn’t sure what finally woke her. There was no sound and no light in the room. Perhaps it had been the dream, she thought. For it was a dream, wasn’t it? It all felt rather blurry and to make sure, she checked her hand.

No ring.

Her head hurt and just the movement of her arm seemed to have made it worse, shooting pain up her neck. Probably just as much having landed on her back as coming off the drugs. Despite it she half sat up and looked around, trying to figure out where she was. Only to realize she was back in Robin’s apartment, in the bedroom she’d only peaked into last night.

Magnum was asleep next to her, looking peaceful even with the dark circles under his eyes. Part of her desperately wanted to wake him up, see his smile, look into his eyes, wrap her arms around him. Because the last thing she remembered was being quite sure she wouldn’t ever get to do that again.

Only then did it hit her.

She was alive.

She’d woken up. That had to be considered a win, even if her head was pounding and her mouth felt as dry as Sahara. 

Sean was dead. 

She and Magnum were alive. He’d said...he’d said he wanted to stay married to her when she asked. Probably she wouldn’t have asked that if she wasn’t drugged and dying but **she had.**

Considering for a moment longer, she decided not to wake him. If he hadn’t felt her stirring, moving, he must be exhausted. Besides, she wanted to just watch him for a minute.

Even with a bruise on his cheek and the dark circles, he was still so...pretty? she suspected he would hate her using that word. That made her want to do it more. There was just something about him, when she really looked, something so beyond ordinary handsomeness and attractiveness, she couldn’t even name it. Thankfully whenever he opened his mouth she could mostly forget about it. 

She smiled and tilted her head - which was not a good idea - then slipped out of bed. He didn’t even twitch. He must really have been exhausted. Her fault. 

A little clumsier than normal she took the handful of steps towards the ensuite bathroom. Here the world spun and she had to grab the door frame. She thought for a moment she might be sick and had the vaguest memory of throwing up in this very bathroom, Magnum holding back her hair.

She pressed her hand to her mouth as she closed the door to the bathroom. She stripped a t-shirt she knew was Magnum’s, off. Then carefully removed the bandage he must have put on the cut her stomach.

As she inspected it in the mirror, she marveled at how the small knick and a bruise from where Sean had none to gently stuck the needle in her leg, were the only two marks the ordeal had left on her body. Well, other than some redness around her wrists from the zip cuffs and the haggard pale sickly look on her face.

Before getting in the shower she drank two glasses of water from the plastic mug and then brushed her teeth with a new toothbrush she found in the cupboard. She also found her favorite brand of Russian over the counter pain pills and took two.

In the shower, as the hot water helped to make her feel just a little bit better, she pondered the fact that Sean was dead. That she’d killed him. She thought it should change something but it didn’t feel like it had. But it would. She could finally turn off that little piece of her brain that was always expecting to see him around the next corner, could stop wondering if she truly was free of him.

Other than that, she wasn’t sure if it meant very much. Maybe it should worry her just how little it mattered to her. She had killed someone. That would usually weigh on her, no matter if she’d done it to save or protect, no matter if the person was a criminal or killer.

Sean...Sean being dead, him simply being no more was just a relief. So much that she found herself smiling as she turned the water off.

She was finally free. 

In the bedroom, she grabbed the backpack they’d managed to take with them from the rental car. It had some of their bare necessities, and she found underwear and the red Hawaii shirt Magnum had worn on the plane ride to Europe and dressed. She had a top of her own in the pack but she still picked his shirt mostly because it still smelled vaguely of him.

Buttoning his shirt she turned to him on the bed and was surprised he still hadn’t woken.

He must have been exhausted if he was sleeping through her both showering and getting dressed. So as much as she wanted to wake him up, he needed to rest to recover. It had after all, not been that long since he’d been shot and she thought it very possible he’d stayed up all night to watch over her, something no one had done for her maybe not even when she was a small child.

In the kitchen, she found her Kintsugi bowl just where she’d put it yesterday. But her ring wasn’t on the kitchen island where she’d left it. She wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing, only that she wanted it back. It was that little piece of him she could carry around with her all the time and she missed it.

Even though she still felt vaguely nauseous it had been a long time since they both ate so she decided she would make breakfast - it for sure wouldn’t be as good as Magnum’s pancakes - but it would be something. Only as she went through the cupboards she found them as bare as the fridge. Of course. No one was living there. 

She considered that venturing outside, but even if it wasn’t snowing and the sun was in fact peaking through some gray clouds, it wasn’t really an option. FSB was still probably looking for her and even though she felt much better she still felt a little...off. 

A worrying thought struck her; maybe Robin’s apartment wasn’t safe, depending on just how diabolic Lena had felt like being. Then again, it had been at least twelve hours since Lena left her to fend for herself with Sean, if she was going to do something wouldn’t the apartment already be swarming with FSB agents?

“You’re awake,” Magnum’s voice said behind her. She hadn’t heard him, but he could be like a Ninja sometimes, plus probably the headache was interfering with her senses and reaction time. 

“Well some of us don’t like sleeping the whole day awa-” she began as she turned around but he’d grabbed her in for a hug before she could finish.

He held her tight, crushing her to him like she might cease to exist or float away if he didn’t.

And, she realized, she was wrapping her arms around him equally tight. He was warm and true and hers. They were both safe, together. And that was really all she had wanted for the past few days and now it was finally so.

“You’re okay,” he said shakily after pulling back from the hug a little but still holding her close. He pushed back some unruly damp hair from her face, eyes locked with hers, his expression so tender she wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. 

“Right as rain,” she said, fudging the truth just a little because she was sure in no time she would be as long as she kept touching him. Kept smiling at him and having him look at her like...well the way he was. Like she was maybe the most important thing in the whole world. 

But then the tender look changed she felt a little worried flicker because it hadn't changed to happy. It was more like he was taking her in, memorizing her, expecting she’d disappear if he blinked. A little bit like he was grieving even though she was clearly not dead.

“What?“ she asked.

“Nothing. You...you just scared me,” he admitted, “I kept thinking I’d lost you. I was sure you stopped breathing once and...and I...”

"I'm okay," she whispered and hugged him again wishing she could promise to never almost die again. But she wasn’t sure she could. She would do her very best not to though. “It’s going to take a lot more than Sean to kill me."

"I guess so," he said and actually smiled.

"What do we do now?" she asked, not wanting to think about it, but Lena was still out there. "Lena got-"

"Sophie took care of Lena. Had some contact or asset track her down," he assured her and she drew a relieved breath. 

"So it's over," she asked, putting her hand on his cheek, touching the bruise there. "This looks painful. You should have iced it."

"On the list of things causing me pain last night, that wasn't even registering," he told her, that haunted look coming back for a second.

"I suppose with a gunshot wound, it wouldn't," she said. "I remember Sean hit you in your side."

"That wasn't what I meant, wait, you remember that?" He suddenly looked excited. "What else?"

"I shot Sean, I'm sure about that."

"And me," he said, turning his head to show the graze on the side of his scalp. 

"You moved," she said, even though he hadn't and felt really bad about it.

"Did I now?" He ran a finger down her cheek softly and for some reason it made her want to bite him. "Are you sure you're not misremembering? You do seem to be wearing one of my shirts."

"I'm not. I have an excellent memory," she informed him. That made him smile. 

“Oh?”

“Yes,” she said, not sure why this seemed to make him so happy. “I remember most of last night. Some of it is a little fuzzy but most of it is crystal clear.”

“How about the bit where you were begging to stay married to me?” he teased as he tucked his hand into his jeans' front pocket. And came out with her engagement **ring**. “Remember that?”

“I did not beg!” she said, reaching for the ring.

“Tell me,” he said and held the ring up and away from her, out of reach. “Before I put this back on your finger.”

“Tell you what?” she asked, both annoyed and happy about the teasing. Because it meant he truly did understand that she was alright. Still, she did want the ring back on her finger.

“That you love me,” he said softly, his dark eyes almost unsure. But why would he be unsure? She had told him she wanted to stay married to him, that she loved him. Sure she had been drugged but surely he didn’t think she’d take it back? 

Or maybe he did. That made her feel rather terrible and prompted her to be completely honest.

“I love you,” she said.

He looked stunned, surprised, his mouth opening and then closing once before speaking. “And we’re going to stay married? For good?” 

“I do believe that was the general idea, yes,” she said, suddenly a little worried herself. “If that’s still what you want?“

He kissed her. She figured that meant yes. 

“Give me your hand,” he said after they pulled apart slightly, taking her hand and positioning the ring to slide it onto her finger. “I can’t promise it will all be perfect but I can promise I will always love you, always have your back and never lie to you.”

He slid the ring onto her finger. And now it was her turn to be speechless for a minute. 

“You really are a hopeless romantic aren’t you?” she finally said but felt oddly like...well, like this moment, was maybe their actual wedding.

And it was perfect. For a second she thought she might cry but she’d never understood crying when you were happy. So she just let the fluttering warm feeling of being close to him, of loving and being loved, fill her up as he kissed her again and the hugged her tight once more and just enjoyed being close and feeling safe and happy in his arms. Even though there was so much that had gone terribly wrong during the last few days she was _so_ very happy. 

Happier than she’d remembered being in a long time in fact. Not just that but she didn’t feel the least bit worried. 

She wasn’t sure she’d ever been ‘not worried’, not been thinking, planning, wondering about the past, the present, the future. It was something she’d been doing since forever without even realizing it. 

But right then and there, she was just perfectly happy. And she felt oddly sure that she’d stay that way. That a new chapter of her life was starting, one where happiness, love and trust would be the building blocks.

“You know I kind of think you had the right idea,” he said, pulling back from their embrace.

“Of course I did,” she agreed, even though she had no idea what he was saying she’d correctly assessed. “What about?”

“Honeymoon destinations.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I think we should have the rest of ours in Hawaii,” he said.

“I agree.” She smiled. “Let’s go home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end! Just one chapter/ epilogue bit of feel-good fluff left.
> 
> Also, I may have watched Pixlar’s Inside Out for the first time ever and now I love the idea of memories being different colors and like “core memories" of different emotions making up our personalities / what emotion is the most dominant in us and I'm totally thinking this would be a very happy core memory for both Magnum and Higgy...


End file.
